In the choir I had the opportunity to revisit the acting that I enjoyed so much back in second grade when we put on a slightly jazzed up version of the Christmas story and I got to play one of the three kings. I had forgotten just how much I loved being able to be someone else for a short while and breathe a bit of life into words on a sheet of paper. It wasnt anything huge that I did, but did reignite a bit of that passion for the stage that would serve me well in a few years at the high school.
The funny thing is that for as much as I liked being on stage and performing in instances like that, I was scared to death of being at any of the school dances even with my friends. I will be the first person to admit that I suffer badly from a lack of rhythm, which is doubly funny because of my musical background. I can feel the beat, I just cant move my body convincingly to it. It was at this age that I went to my first dance of any type. I wasnt neccessarily going to dance, but rather to socialize and to satisfy my curiosity about what goes on at dances. This was back when disco when really strong on the charts so many of the songs did have a rather infectious beat to them, but completely nonsense lyrics. I ran into Jean, who I shared my table with the year before in sixth grade and she asked me to dance with her. I could feel my face flush with a deep blush as my cheeks warmed up with the sudden influx of blood. Well, I TRIED to dance with her to a fast song. After that display of what more closely resembled an epileptic fit on my part, I was surprised that she asked me later on for a slow dance as well. I was scared. I was and still am to an extent, a rather shy person at heart. I accepted, but the dance was more along the lines of both of us standing at arms length slowly turning around in a circle while talking to each other. My memories of that time was pretty much her smile in the semi darkness. She always had a great smile. Sorry to disappoint you, but not first kiss time here. That wouldnt come for a few years yet. As much as other guys and girls were getting together as 'couples' not only at the dances but in general around school, I found myself not feeling the need for a 'steady'. I preferred the circle of friends that I had at this time and spending time with them as a group. (Besides, the ratio in this group was along the lines of 2-3 girls for every guy so it did have its advantages.)
The one thing that I took from these two years that stuck with me all throughout life happened near the end of seventh grade. In my math class, I was holding a solid 'B' average without doing much of my homework that counted towards the final grade, so that explained my 'B' in the class. We were all given a test to see who would be picked for the advanced algebra class that was taught to one group of eigth graders while everyone else would have to wait until ninth grade. I took the test and thought that is was really easy if you could use common sense and logic on it. A few weeks later, the teacher was hinting to the class as to if anyone in this class scored high enough to be considered. He simply said that there was one person in this particular row, two in that row...etc. He came to my row and said, "There is one in this row, but if I had my say they wouldnt be going." Everyone turned at looked at me because I was notorious for not turning in the assignments. I could feel my face flushing bright red again at the comments. I found out shortly after wards that indeed I was chosen for the advanced class the following year. I couldnt help having those words burned into my mind from my teacher though. I felt as if I had somehow let him down. That was the first time in my entire school career that I was EVER criticized by any teacher and I can remember it very vividly. I had the opportunity to meet this teacher again numerous years later when my oldest daughter had him for math. I told him that I remembered it very clearly and even though I wasnt really happy that it happened, I can understand that he was trying to give me a kick in the pants to do some of the work. He replied that he was at his wits end with me. I knew the work and could do it, but wouldnt do anything beyond what was needed to get by in his class. He could see great potential there simply being wasted away and that is what bothered him. I'm glad that we had that chance to clear the air with each other about it. Am I upset at all for the comments he directed at me? No I'm not, although at that moment I wished I could crawl under my desk. It wasnt exactly constructive criticism, but I can understand looking back that it wasnt meant with malice towards me. A lot of people can be very thin skinned when it comes to be able to accept criticism of any type. I try to receive most criticsm in a constructive manner rather then destructive.
Don't ever waste your potential. I didnt fully realize the value of a good, solid education and study habits at that time. I look back over my entire school career and honestly do think about what I might have been able to accomplish if I just did everything up to my potential instead of just doing what I had to to get that 'B'. A lot of times you dont really appreciate those things that come easy to you. I dont know if I would be anyplace different right now or not, but its not something that can be changed overnight at this point in my life. The better and more rounded your education is, the more opportunities you will have in life as you get older. Dont settle for just getting by. Keep going until you get what you deserve!