Chapter
eighty-three:
Becky was
sitting on the counter in the small bathroom which joined Taylor and Zac’s
room. He had locked the door so
Zac was standing
shirtless in front of the sink, leaning in towards the mirror, trying to shave,
with Becky watching him intently.
Becky clutched
the edge of the countertop with her hands and leaned forward, watching him.
Zac laughed. “I
don’t think I’ve ever done this with someone watching me before.”
“Sorry.” Becky
apologized with a smile and a slight blush. “I’m just bored, and I want to
spend the whole day with you, while I still can, because soon your schedule is
going to be crazy!”
”It’s okay. It’s just weird that you’re so interested in something that’s so
normal to me.” He smiled, wetting the razor in the sink.
Becky pursed her
lips together, and watched him, her eyes wandering over his bare chest and
arms. “Zac?”
“Mmm-hmmm?”
“Can I ask you
something?”
“Sure…” he
lifted his chin and peered down his nose to shave beneath his chin.
“Do you ever
think about… sex?”
Zac nearly cut
himself in shock, but instead shook the razor in the water, and attempted to
catch the spot he had missed. “You mean… in general?”
“No… I mean… as
in… us...”
“Us…
and sex. You mean, us
having sex.” He attempted to clarify.
“Yeah. Do you think about it?”
Zac sighed and
stopped shaving for a moment, with only one side of his face done, and the
other still covered in shaving cream. “Well, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t
think about it… I mean, I am a guy, and I can’t really avoid it. And you’re
really hot, and there are times when…” He paused, and didn’t consider it wise
to continue with that train of thought. “I do think about us doing it… having…
the sex… why do you ask?”
“No reason…” She
kicked her feet in slight embarrassment. “I just… know some people who had sex
at prom, and I mean… we’re eighteen… and I thought maybe someday… maybe one
day… we could.”
“Have sex.” He
finished.
“Right.” She nodded. “If you wanted to… Do you
want to?”
He thought for a
moment. “Is this one of those questions that has no right answer? Like are you
going to yell at me no matter what I say?”
“No.” She shook
her head. “I’d like you to be honest.”
He drew in a
deep breath. “Yeah… I’d like to have sex. I care about you a lot… This
conversation just caught me a little off guard…”
“Is that weird? Do you think I’m weird now?”
She asked quickly.
“No, you’re not
weird.” He turned back to his shaving. “I’m glad we had this little
discussion.”
”Okay.”
“But I do think
it’s weird that you want to watch me shave!” He said, pointedly, smearing a dab
of shaving cream on her bare arm.
“Hey!” She
laughed.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jenna was
sitting alone in the kitchen, drinking mugs of tea by the pot full.
There was very
little caffeine in tea, but she needed some kind of a vice at that moment, and
if there was no alcohol readily available, she settled for the only thing she
could find.
Calling Luke
that afternoon had been a mistake. Not a big one, but a mistake none the less.
She went from missing him terribly, to feeling a brief satisfaction of hearing
his voice, and then suddenly missing him a million times worse.
Being with him
was beginning to feel like a drug, suffering withdrawal symptoms, then having a
brief euphoric fix, and then coming down again and easing back into withdrawal
once again.
Jenna sighed,
and tipped the last of the tea in her mug into her mouth, not caring that it
was much too hot and burned its way down her body. She immediately got up and
filled the kettle for more.
If she had an
addictive personality, this could have easily been described as addictive
behavior, but she had no addictions. This wasn’t like getting the munchies
after getting high, this was just looking for
something, or anything to fill the void left by missing Luke.
She sat down at
the table again and raked her hands through her hair. She’d never been in a
relationship where she actually cared about the person she was with. It felt so
good, but if felt awful being away from him. She felt
awful every day she was away from Luke.
And she hated
feeling vulnerable, and upset over someone else.
She sighed
heavily and got up to turn off the boiling kettle.
As much as she
cared about Luke, she couldn’t keep putting herself in a position of hurting.
There had to be
something she could do. There had to be a pre-emptive strike, some way of
removing her vulnerability and making herself feel better.
The only thing
she could do, the only thing that made sense in her mind, was to break up with
Luke.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
He had unlocked
the door and let himself in, locking the door behind him, simply to ensure his
own privacy; even though he knew Zac and Isaac both had keys of their own.
He opened a new
bottle of water, drinking it warm and straight from bottle as he sat at his
piano.
He had a
complete lack of ideas lately, and anything he could come up with sounded like
crap.
He sighed
heavily and raked his hair back off his forehead. His hair badly needed a cut
and a wash, and he needed to shave desperately, but at the moment, he didn’t
particularly care.
He had always been able to write songs about wanting a girl, but when it
actually was happening, he was at a loss for words.
He groaned out
loud and slammed the wooden cover down over the piano keys.
If he was going
to start to feel better, he had to get out there and do something. He had to
get out there and find someone who returned the emotions he felt for Jen.
But first, he
had to shower, shave, and change. Which meant a stop at the
house first.
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