PART 1
[Long life friends Julie Gettle and Diana
Hanson are sitting in the living room of the
Gettle house with new neighbor Sharon Beshore.
Their children are coloring in the
living room. They are anticipating
the arrival of Karen Heverling and her children]
JULIE: I'm sorry, Sharon. I don't
know where Karen is. Maybe we can just start
talking without her.
DIANA: Julie, you have to stop being
so uptight. My gosh, all we're gonna do is get
to know Sharon. [To Sharon] Don't mind
her. She has a tendency to blow
everything out of proportion.
SHARON: So have you two and Karen been
friends for a while?
JULIE: Since eighth grade.
DIANA: And now our kids are all growing
up together.
SHARON: You have quite a few kids,
don't you?
DIANA: I have four with one on the
way. I want a girl. Jessie needs a sister.
JULIE: I only have two, but Devon and
I want another child.
SHARON: All Marck and I have is Morgan.
[Doorbell rings]
JULIE: That's probably Karen.
[Julie opens door and Karen Heverling walks in with
her four children.] Sharon, this is
Karen Heverling. These are her kids, Delia, Rae,
Joey and Robbie.
DIANA: And Karen, this is Sharon Beshore,
our new neighbor. Her daughter,
Morgan has a part in an independent film
here.
SHARON: Hi
KAREN: Hi [shake hands]
JULIE: Rae, Delia, the other kids are
in the living room. [Rae and Delia go to living
room]
[in living room]
DELIA: Hey everyone.
TORI: Rae, Delia, this is Morgan.
Morgan, that's Rae and Delia.
MORGAN: Rae?
RACHEL: Yeah. Short for Rachel.
DELIA: [sits down next to Isaac] Hey,
Ike. Ready for school tomorrow.
ISAAC: I can hardly wait. Me, Jake
and Adrian have a plan.
DELIA: Isaac, that scares me.
TAYLOR: It should. Scares me too.
MORGAN: How old are you? I don't
even go to school yet.
ISAAC: Me and Delia are in fourth grade...
RACHEL: [cuts him off] I
ISAAC: What?
RACHEL: Its Delia and I.
ISAAC: Sorry Professor Heverling.
Delia and I are in fourth grade. Now, if there are
no further grammar corrections...Miss Rachel?
RACHEL: proceed
ISAAC: Thank you. Anyway, she's
nine and I'm ten. Tay's in second grade. He's
seven. Zac and Tori are both four and
in preschool. Rachel's five and she's in
kindergarten.
MORGAN: Wow, you're old.
ISAAC: Thanks
DELIA: I think
MORGAN: You're smart.
RACHEL: I know.
ZAC: What's your pan?
DELIA: Plan, Zaccy. Pans are
for cooking food.
ZAC: Food? where?
DELIA: Not here.
ZAC: Oh
TORI: C'mon Rae, color wit us.
RACHEL: Kay. [Rae sits down and discovers
that the only crayon left is the black one.]
Ewww...its the ugy back un.
TORI: Ewww...dats not fair. Here,
have my red one.
RACHEL: Thanks [Tori takes black crayon]
MORGAN: Well, these are your crayons.
You should have a perty one. Here, you
can have my green.
TORI: Tank 'em. [Morgan
takes the black crayon]
MORGAN: Welcome
ZAC: No, your the new guest.
You can't have da back one. You can have my puple.
MORGAN: Thank you. [Zac takes
the black crayon]
TAYLOR: No Zac, you had the black one
last time. Here, you can have my orange.
ZAC: Sank ew, Tay [Tay takes black
crayon]
ISAAC: No Tay, you can take the pink
one, I'll use the black
TAYLOR: Thanks
[Isaac looks over at Jessie and sees that
she had a yellow crayon. He takes it from
her and gives her the black one. Jessie
doesn't care, black shows up better than
yellow anyway. Now all the kids are
happy. Especially Jessie.] [Kids continue to
color.]
[Rachel, Delia, Isaac and Taylor are returning
home from a day of school. Delia
and Isaac are responsible for taking Rachel
and Taylor to and from school]
TAYLOR: So Rae, how was school.
RACHEL: Dumb. My teacher thinks
I'm stupid.
DELIA: Your teacher thinks you're stupid?
RACHEL: She must. She taught
us the alphabet today as if I didn't know it already.
ISAAC: Tell her you're a child prodigy.
Tell her how many books you're read...
RACHEL: Six and a half
DELIA: Half?
RACHEL: I haven't finished yet!
ISAAC: Okay--you're five?
RACHEL: Yeah, what you gonna do about
it, punk?!
ISAAC: Nothin''--okay, anyway, tell
her how many books you're read, call yourself a
child prodigy and I'm sure she'll leave you
alone.
DELIA: Or move her up a grade
ISAAC: At least she won't be bored
[Delia shrugs. Rachel absentmindedly plays with
her hair. Taylor kicks a rock along
the road. Isaac starts singing to himself. Taylor
joins in. The two continue to sing
to themselves until they arrive at the Hanson
house.]
JULIE: [opens door] Hey kids.
How was school?
TAYLOR: Boring
DELIA: Dumb
RACHEL: Stupid
ISAAC: It sucked
DIANA: Isaac! Language!
ISAAC: [mumbles] sorry. [Delia giggles] What
are you laughing at?
DELIA: You...sissy boy.
RACHEL: Oooooo--gettin' personal
TAYLOR: Beat 'er up!
RACHEL: Or are you sissy?
ISAAC: I'm not a sissy boy!
DIANA: Julie, lets go.
JULIE: But...
DIANA: Karen and Sharon are waiting.
I don't feel like watching the kids beat each
other up. [Children watch parents exit room
and look at each other, a bit curious as
to what they're up to]
DELIA: That was interesting
RACHEL: Yah
TAYLOR: Hmm...
ISAAC: Hey Delia...
DELIA: Yeah?
ISAAC: [tackles her] I'm NOT
a sissy boy.
DELIA: [pushes him off her] Ah--you hit like
Rae--and she's a girl, not to mention five
years younger. [Rachel and Taylor begin
to laugh insanely. Zac, Morgan, and Tori
come in and are confused. Isaac and
Delia are growling at each other and Taylor
and Rachel are rolling on the floor laughing.]
ZAC: uh...
TORI: hmm...
MORGAN: What's going on? [Taylor and
Rachel stop laughing. Ike and Delia stop
growling and they all look to Morgan.]
That was creepy.
ISAAC: Hi Morgan, Tori, Zac
MORGAN, TORI, ZAC: Hi Ike
DELIA: I called Ike a sissy boy and
he's denying it.
ISAAC: That's cause I'm not a sissy
boy.
DELIA: uh-huh...riight
MORGAN: Well, this is friendly
TORI: Yeah, very
RACHEL: Ain't it?! Guess what!
TORI, ZAC, MORGAN: What?
RACHEL: I'm a child prodigee
ISAAC: Prodigy
RACHEL: Sorry sissy
ISAAC: Don't make me hurt you
RACHEL: Ha ha ha ha ha...oh, you were
serious?
ISAAC: Funny
TORI: Yeah, it was
ZAC: I thought so
MORGAN: Yeah, but it was true
ISAAC: Now you, Morgan? You're
all against me.
RACHEL: Oh, don't be so melodramatic
ISAAC: Mellow wha--
MORGAN: Melodramatic
ZAC: huh
DELIA: I'm confused
RACHEL: Never mind
TAYLOR: Okay, I'll try
MORGAN: Although he's not being very
melodramatic.
RACHEL: true
ISAAC: Now you're trying to make me
look stupid
TORI: You don't need much help from
them
ISAAC: I'm offended. You're all
against me. They'll kill me. I'm too young to die.
I've got so much to live for. [falls over
and sighs loudly]
RACHEL: I think we should disregard
your earlier comment, Morgan.
MORGAN: Yeah [Tori & Morgan nod]
ISAAC: [looks up from his spot on the
floor.] Did you say 'disregard'?
RACHEL: Yeah
ISAAC: Oy, she's showing me up
DELIA: its okay, Ike, that easy to
do. She isn't that smart.
ISAAC: [sarcastic] Thanks, Delia
DELIA: Welcome
[2 days later, walk in the door to Karen's
house]
KAREN: How was your day today, Rae?
RACHEL: Just great! My teacher wants
me to give this to you.[hands over a note]
[Karen reads letter]
KAREN: Oh my, Rae! Why did your teacher
do this?
RACHEL: Do what?
[Isaac walks over to Karen's house and enters
the kitchen]
ISAAC: Hey, what's going on?
KAREN: Rachel's teacher wants to move
her up a grade.
RACHEL: what!?
ISAAC: What did you tell her, Rae?
RAE: I told her I was a prodigee.
ISAAC: PRODIGY!!!
RACHEL: whatever
KAREN: Well, you must have done a good
job. You're moving to a new class
tomorrow.
RAE: Cool, I'll probably be smarter
than all those kids too, then I'll tell the teacher I'm
a prodigee and she'll move me up again.
IKE & KAREN: PRODIGY!!!
RACHEL: whatever
[next day of school. morning]
KAREN: Okay, Rae, Ike is going to walk
you to your new class, ok?
RACHEL: I could probably get there
myself, since I'm a genius. [Isaac walks in]
ISAAC: I heard that
KAREN: lets go kids, you're going to
be late.
[kids leave for school] [on the way, walking]
ISAAC: Oh look, here comes Delia
DELIA: Hey guys
RAE: Its hey guy and hey girl. we are
both members of the opposite sex, so you
should treat us like individuals.
DELIA: Okay, okay, don't get all uptight.
Hey people?
ISAAC: Rae, don't say a word [Rae gives
Ike a glare] Hey!
RAE: Fine! hello female member
of the animal kingdom
ISAAC: Rae!!!
RACHEL: What?
DELIA: It's okay.
[finally enter school]
IKE: Okay, Rae, here is your classroom
DELIA: Have fun Rae [mumbles] not
RACHEL: Thanks [under breath] asshole
DELIA: I heard that
RACHEL: good
ISAAC: Rachel Leanne Heverling
DELIA: Oh! he used your whole
name.
RACHEL: That's it
[Rae jumps Delia and starts pulling out her
hair]
DELIA: Get off me!
[Isaac pulls Rae off of Delia while she is
still kicking her]
IKE: stop it you two
DELIA: Come on, let me at her.
RACHEL: Bring it on.
DELIA: What a great impression you
made on your first day in a new grade
ISAAC: Shove it, Delia
[principal comes and takes Rae and Delia
to his office]
PRINCIPAL: Now, will you tell me what
was going on? [silence] okay, then, I'm
calling your parents to come and pick you
up
[calls parents, come and take the girls home]
KAREN: You two are grounded for the rest
of your lives.
DELIA: Come on mom, be reasonable
RACHEL: I agree for once
KAREN: Fine, two months with no phone,
tv, and friends
DELIA: That should be easy for Rae.
She doesn't have friends cuz she reads all
day.
KAREN: Delia Kathleen Heverling
RACHEL: Oh, she used your. . .
KAREN: don't start this again.
Go to your rooms, Now.
DELIA: Thanks Rae.
RACHEL: Bite me.
[Saturday Night. Gettle,
Heverling, Beshore and Hanson families go out to an
amusement park. Rae and Delia are grounded.]
KAREN: Okay girls, we are trusting you two.
ISAAC: After the way they acted in public,
I can't believe you are letting them stay here
alone.
DIANA: Clarke Isaac Hanson [laughter from
Rae and Delia] Just for saying that, you
are going to stay here with them.
ISAAC, RACHEL, DELIA: Awww man
KAREN: Now behave yourselves [all families
leave to go out and Ike, Rae, Delia are
left behind]
RACHEL: [screams] Morgan!! Morgan don't
leave me! Please!
MORGAN: humm. . .lets see. . .the amusement
park. . .or. . .staying with you. .
.amusement park
RACHEL: What kind of a friend are you?
MORGAN: Good question. . .well see. . .
RACHEL: [cuts her off] Please Morgan, he
could kill us! or worse. . .he could make us
watch old Blue's Clues reruns!
MORGAN: [gasps] The humanity!!!
I can't let you go through that alone.
TORI: But Morgan. . .
MORGAN: I'm so sorry Tori but no one
deserves that
TORI: True. . .
MORGAN: mommy, can I stay?
SHARON: Ask your father
MORGAN: [puts on an angel face and bats her
eye lashes] Daddy dearest, can I
stay.
MARCK: Of course, angel face.
MORGAN: Tank oo!!
PARENTS: Bye, be good
ISAAC: [laughing insanely] Three victims
tonight
GIRLS: [scream] Run for your lives.
ISAAC: You can run but you can't hide
RACHEL: we can try
ISAAC: [hideous laugh] Try me, oh smart ones.
RACHEL: you betcha
DELIA: Come on Rae and Morgan, we'll lock
ourselves in my room
MORGAN: Good Idea [Ike running up stairs
after them]
DELIA: hurry [get to room and lock it, Ike
bangs on the door as hard as he possibly
can] Okay, think what are we going to do
now.
MORGAN: I don't know
DELIA: Come on, we have to think of
something.
[Rae Starts Crying]
MORGAN: Aww, Rae, don't cry
DELIA: yeah! You're supposed
to be the brains of the group. Snap out of it.
MORGAN: Let her go, Delia
RACHEL: I scared. No like confrontations.
Just want to be safe
DELIA: Sorry, I want to get out of
here, too.
[sit together in the corner and hold each
other tight and think, Ike turns into a mad
man.]
ISAAC: Let me in or I'll knock the door down.
RACHEL: [short gasp type scream]
DELIA: Ok, this has gone on long enough.
I'm going out to settle things. Morgan,
watch out for Rae.
MORGAN: Okay, be safe.
DELIA: I will [leaves the room]
[Ike isn't in site]
ISAAC: Boo!!
DELIA: Ahhhh!!!
[in the room]
MORGAN: oh, I hope she's alright
RACHEL: Delia!!!
[Back outside of the room]
DELIA: Don't come out guys, I'm okay.
Why did you scare me like that.
ISAAC: sorry, I thought it would be funny.
DELIA: Well, it wasn't. Your
scaring Rae out of her mind. Stop it, she started crying.
ISAAC: Oh, sorry. I didn't meant too.
Let me go in there to talk to her.
DELIA: Okay, but be gentle [Ike walks
in bedroom. Morgan comes out.]
MORGAN: do you think its safe? Yea know,
to let it loose. I mean, we can always lock
'im up. Cage 'im.
DELIA: I think its alright. Ike is
just being stupid
MORGAN: But Delia
DELIA: What?
MORGAN: Ike is always stupid
DELIA: True. . . [both girls shrug]
[Inside room Ike approaches Rae who is sitting
in the corner]
ISAAC: Hey Rae. I'm sorry if I scared
you. I do that to my family all the time. [Rae
giggles]
RACHEL: That's ok, Ikey
ISAAC: good. Now give me a hug. [they
hug] now are you okay [Rae nods] good. now
lets go make trouble
RACHEL: okay [Rachel walks over to
the door and pauses] Ike?
ISAAC: Yeah?
RACHEL: Can I talk to you?
ISAAC: Sure, What's up?
RACHEL: I want to go back to kindergarten.
First grade is no fun. I'd rather get teeth
pulled than stay.
ISAAC: That bad, huh
RACHEL: Yeah. Kindergarten is an important
time in a child's life and I don't want to
miss it. But mommy and daddy are just
so happy. . .
ISAAC: Rachel, you are probably the
only 5 year old with these kinds of problems.
come here [Rae walks over to Ike and he gives
her a hug] Just tell them what you
told me.
RACHEL: [nods] alright. [they walk
out of the room and find Morgan on her cell
phone screaming]
MORGAN: No, Kenneth, I will not take
Daniel with me. I don't care if you are my
agent. Daniel is so annoying and he
acts like a child
BIG K: [on phone] Morgan, he is a child
MORGAN: I know that, but my goodness. . .
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