swear count
A count up of all the swear words in each book.
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Some swear words come with many variations. In these cases we count them all under the basic swear word that they elaborate on,
for example 'Pissing' and 'Pissed' all come under the umbrella of 'Piss' (so to speak).
Most tedious line: "I'm not fat, I'm thick-boned!"
Best put-downs: "Watch it, ass-licker!", "Who crapped in your cap?" and "Tell Rolf he can shove himself up his own fudge tunnels."
Honorary swear words: 'Nuts', 'Balls' and 'Screwball'.
Ass or Arse? In Book One 'Ass' wins the 'Ass or Arse?' competition with seven utterings of 'Asshole' compared to the weak and feeble three mutterings of 'Arsehole'.
Swear word said the most in Book One: If you don't count 'God' (51 times), 'Hell' (21 times) or 'Jesus' (21 times) as being proper swear words, the winner for Book One is Pissed.
TOTAL SWEARING IN BOOK ONE: 230
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Some swear words come with many variations. In these cases we count them all under the basic swear word that they elaborate on,
for example 'Pissing' and 'Pissed' all come under the umbrella of 'Piss' (so to speak).
Honorary swear words: 'Fricking eedgits' (Imitation of Irish accent, 3 times), 'Bejesus' (2 times) and 'Frickin' (2 times).
Ass or Arse? In Book Two 'Arse' wins the 'Ass or Arse?' competition because it was said five times more than 'Ass'.
Swear word said the most in Book Two: If you don't count 'God' (24 times) or 'Hell' (20 times) as being proper swear words, the winner for Book Two is Piss again.
TOTAL SWEARING IN BOOK TWO: 152
There are 78 fewer swear words in Book Two than there were in Book One.
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Some swear words come with many variations. In these cases we count them all under the basic swear word that they elaborate on,
for example 'Pissing' and 'Pissed' all come under the umbrella of 'Piss' (so to speak).
Best insult: "Will you stop fiddle-arsing around."
Ass or Arse? In Book Three 'Arse' wins the 'Ass or Arse?' competition because it was said six times more than 'Ass'.
Swear word said the most in Book Three: If you don't count 'God' (50 times) or 'Hell' (32 times) as being proper swear words, the winner for Book Three is Shit.
TOTAL SWEARING IN BOOK THREE: 248
That's 96 more swear words in Book Three than there were in Book Two.
Swear count for Book Four coming soon.
Swear count for Book Five coming soon.
Swear count for all the versions of Book Six coming soon.
Swear count for Book Seven coming soon.
Swear count for Book Eight coming soon.
� Jess and Hannah 2005