"Will you take us home?" Hannah asked Jimmy.
"Why should I? It's way out of my way. Can't you just catch a plane from wherever I drop you?" Jimmy asked.
"We haven't got time for that!" Hannah protested. "We've got to get home in time for the part-" She paused.
"The what?" Jimmy asked.
"Nothing." Hannah said, quickly (Jimmy hadn't been invited).
"No, come on, what do you have to get home for so urgently?!" Jimmy asked. "Jess – tell him." Hannah said, presuming the answer in German would be too obscure for Jimmy to work out what it was.
"Die Party." Jess said, cheerfully.
"Ah, crap."
"You're having a party and you didn't invite me?!" Jimmy asked, crossly.
"Oh…um…d-didn't you get your invitation?" Hannah asked, innocently. "Bloody Royal Mail…"
"There's no way I'm taking you home to a party I'm not invited to."
"PLEASE!" Hannah begged. "You HAVE to! I've invited Keanu! And there'll be MISTLETOE!"
"Meine Kamera funktioniert nicht! [My camera isn't working!]" Jess said, trying to photograph some migrating birds under the phone.
"I'm sorry, I'm not going out of my way to take you home!" Jimmy hovered his finger over a big red button which said: 'Loose the back-end of the plane'.
"Ok, Jimmy! We'll go wherever you want to go!"
Jimmy laughed. "I have the power!!"
"Ich mochte gern wasserskiunterricht nehmen. [I would like to take water-skiing lessons.]" Jess sighed.
"Jess, now isn't the time or place." Hannah snapped.
"Schwachkopf! [Wally!]"
"There's only one way of this." Hannah said.
"How's that?" Jimmy asked, evilly.
"Like this." Hannah grabbed a convenient vase and smashed it over Jimmy's head, rendering him unconscious.
"Krankenwagen! [Ambulance!]" Jess yelled.
"Oh, for CHRIST'S SAKE, stop speaking in GERMAN!" Hannah used what was left of the vase to smack Jess over the head.
"OW!" Jess moaned. "What the hell was that for?!"
"For speaking in GERMAN for the last God knows how long!" Hannah snapped.
"What are you on about?" Jess asked. "You're weird." She concluded.
Hannah rolled her eyes and took the controls.
"I need some sort of autopilot." She said, fiddling with buttons.
"Don't press anything that could get us killed, please." Jess requested, politely.
"Maybe…maybe we should revive him and let HIM drive…" Orlando started. "I mean…you've not had much experience flying planes, I'd imagine."
"She has, actually." Jess told him. "Haven't you read the other books?"
Orlando looked guiltily at his feet.
"Heathen." Jess concluded.
Hannah found a button. It was green which automatically made it stand out from all the other black ones.
"I'll just take things as they come…" Hannah thought aloud. The green button flashed so she pressed it. The left engine fell off.
"Bugger." Muttered Orlando.
"Ah, it's ok. We don't really need that…" Hannah commented as the plane flew at a 45 degree incline to the left. "I'll just take us as high as possible so if the other one falls off, we can glide!"
Another green button to the right of the last one started to flash.
"Don't you think you ought to do something about that?" Orlando pointed out.
"This is why you're not a pilot." Hannah said. "The most important thing you need to remember when flying a plane is not to touch anything."
"But you just t-"
"SHUT UP, POINTY EARS!" Hannah yelled, crossly.
"ARSE, ARSE, ARSE!" Jess kicked the wall angrily and a panel fell off to reveal a selection of buttons labelled:
'IDIOT'S CONTROLS'.
"Yey!" Jess clapped her hands. "We're saved!" She pressed a button labelled 'AUTO PILOT. (THAT MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE TO FLY THE PLANE.)'.
"Where would you like to go?" Came a voice booming into the cockpit.
"ARRGH! What the hell?" Hannah asked.
"Invalid location: 'ARRGH! What the hell?'" The voice said.
"England?" Jess said, hopefully.
"Setting co-ordinates for England." The voice said.
"By jove, I think she's got it!" Hannah said, happily. "We might make it home in time for the party after all!"
"Yey!" Jess clapped.
"Looks like my work here is done." Hannah smiled, looking chuffed with herself.
"No thanks to you…" Jess muttered under her breath.
"That better have been in German so I didn't hear!!" Hannah waved a clenched fist.
"Ja!" Jess tried.
"Gut." Hannah said, satisfied. "I mean good…You've got ME doing it now!"
Jess had the decency to look slightly guilty.
"Let's sit back and relax… Orlando commented, reclining his co-pilot chair and stretching.
"Would you like some mid-air refreshments?" The plane inquired.
"Sure!" Hannah said.
A bunch of crunchy-crouton packets flew out of the controls and landed in their laps.
"Yummy." They all snacked.