"No, I really do think black will be the new pink this year."
"Oh no, I'm sorry, brown will be the new pink so you can interchange the colours."
"You can interchange black and pink!" "Oh no, no, no! That's such a clich�!"
"You're a clich�!"
J-Lo threw her drink in Jennifer Aniston's face.
A cat fight ensued where upon Michelle Pfieffer stalked over and joined in exclaiming that she was cat woman and no-one should contest her.
Jess had begun to realise that the punch-glasses really weren't big enough. So she made do with submerging her head in the bowl and drinking from there.
Keanu walked into the control room and said: "I think we're going too fast."
"You go faster on your motorbike." Hannah commented.
"True." Keanu hung his head in shame. "Wait," He looked out of the window, narrowing his eyes. "Is that a rock?"
"Where?" Hannah, tried to follow Keanu's gaze but was slightly phased by his eyes.
"There!" Keanu pointed. "It is!" He cried. "Turn the boat around!!"
Hannah tried to turn the helm but failed. "Oh no! We're going to collide!!" She stared helplessly at the growing mound of jagged rock.
"Let's hope that this boat is as good as the money spent on it." Keanu crouched down on the floor beside Hannah and covered his head with his arms.
"C'mere, you!" Hannah leapt to the floor beside him and grabbed him. "If I'm going to die, I'm gonna go out in STYLE!"
The boat hit the rock and shuddered violently.
"CRAP!" Several celebrities fell overboard (but no one important). The front of the boat broke up a bit and everyone fled to the back of the boat causing it to tilt up and fall over.
"SHITE!" Hannah fell into the water and was nibbled by a shoal of fish (she enjoyed it, really).
"ARRRGH!" Jess also plummeted into the water.
"Ooh, hello." Hannah splashed over to her.
"Any ideas?" Jess asked, crossly.
"Er…no." Hannah said. "But…eee-hee-hee!" She suddenly dived under the water and swam towards Keanu, who suddenly jumped up and said:
"OOH!"
Jess frowned and looked at the pitiful sight of celebrities flailing in the water. The shock of falling in the water and admittedly drinking half the sea on the way in had somehow disapparated her drunken state. She bobbed up and down on the surface and watched some A-List celebrities fail to swim since they didn't know how.
Suddenly, Jess was pulled down into the water by something weighing her down. She looked around to see Hugh Grant, arms flailing, gulping like a fish.
"You've got to help me! I've got a prosperous career ahead of me!!" He was dragging Jess further down into the water so her nose was almost under.
"NO!" Jess struggled, but only seemed to be adding to the problem in doing so. "Leave me alone!"
Hugh continued to try and use her as a buoyant object and Jess disappeared as he clambered up, wobbling as he almost toppled into the water.
"Yey!" Hugh rejoiced at being almost out of water as he stood on Jess's back.
Suddenly Hannah burst out of the water and punched him hard in the face. He fell back into the water and Hannah pulled Jess up.
"Jess! Jess? Are you ok?!" Hannah patted her on the cheeks trying to revive the unconscious water-logged Jess.
Jess coughed, sending a mini fountain of water up into Hannah's face.
"Ugh! Thanks for that, J…" Hannah wiped her face.
"Ent schuldigung, ich spreche kein Deutsch." Jess replied.
"What?!" Hannah exclaimed. She sat her friend up in the water. "You felling ok?"
"Die Australierin ["The Australian!"]!" Jess exclaimed.
"Oh, GOD." Hannah dragged Jess up onto the rock the boat had crashed into. She gave her a good slapping. "Snap out of it, lady."
"Verdammt noch mal!" Jess swore, backing away. "Du spinnst wohl!"
"Great." Hannah sat back on the rock. "I'm stuck in the middle of the ocean with a bunch of half-drowned celebrities, no boat, I have a Christmas party I am now gonna miss, and my best friend thinks she's German. Just great."