Jess was having a wail of a time. All of a sudden, everything was feeling really good. She wasn't even bothered about having a huge party in two days time. To be precise, she'd forgotten about it. In the meantime, the most important occupation was pinning the tail on this damn stupid fluffy donkey.
Kylie spun her around (well, she thought it was fun, so she decided to enforce it upon others), until she was even more disorientated than when she began.
Kylie let her go and Jess staggered around a little, trying to regain composure and strength in her legs.
With her punch still in her left hand, she stood up straight with confidence and held out her right hand with the pin on it. She lunged forward and blindly pinned the pin on Jack Nicholson's arse.
Everyone cheered.
"Did I do it?!" Jess pulled off her blindfold hurriedly and looked at the donkey.
"JESS RULES!" Everyone started to chant, (apart from Jack Nicholson who had leapt suicidally off the side of the cruise-boat in pain.) "JESS RULES! JESS RULES! JESS RULES!!"
Brad Pitt and Sting lifted her onto their shoulders and paraded her around.
Hannah peered at Keanu subtly as he still talked to George Clooney and Jennifer Connelly.
"JESS RULES!" Graham Norton chanted, walking over to Hannah.
"What did you just say?" She asked him.
"JESS RULES!" Graham repeated.
"Who?" Hannah said, nonplussed.
"JESS!" Graham said, pointing.
"OH." Hannah nodded and smiled proudly. "Yeah, she's my best friend."
"Yeah right!" Graham said sarcastically and walked off. "People who lie should be sent to hell!" He disappeared behind Nicholas Cage.
Hannah looked put out.
"Bugger it." She turned around to where Jess had finally been put down. "What did you do to make yourself so popular?"
"I pinned the tail on the donkey!" Jess explained.
"That was Jack Nicholson." Hannah replied.
"Oh." Jess looked crestfallen.
"No, it's ok!" Said Brad Pitt, walking past. "We didn't have a donkey, so we used Jack."
"Oh." Jess repeated, slightly less crestfallen.
Suddenly there was a shout from the boat's helm.
"LOOK!" Shouted Hugh Grant. "I don't think we've been passed this island before!"
"So?" Asked Hannah, bored.
"SO - it might mean we're out of the Bermuda Triangle!" Carrie-Ann Moss yelled from the crowd.
"OH." Hannah nodded. "Does that mean we're saved?!"
"Could do…" Bruce Willis called up from the navigation room. "The radar says we're out!"
Everyone cheered.
"We might get home in time for our party!" Jess said, happily.
Hannah looked around at the vast expanse of ocean.
"OR, maybe we won't." She concluded, sadly.
Jess slumped onto the railings at the front of the boat and dropped her punch drunkenly on a seagull. She looked down at the bird in shock. "Oh my God! We've got to be close to land because of the bird!!"
"You idiot," Hannah commented, pointing at the passing island.
Jess hiccupped and tripped over Sharon Stone's foot on her return to the punch bowl.
Hannah strode through the crowd and arrived in the room with the helm (quite possibly it's called the helm-room, but I'm not a boaty person and this isn't an educational book so it doesn't matter). She pushed the accelerator control up to maximum and the boat gained speed. "Someone's got to get us home…" She muttered. "If we drive in one direction for long enough we're bound to find some land." She said, optimistically.
"Hannah…slow down!" Jess said, shakily, trying to stand up.
"NO!" Hannah continued to speed along at a moderate 427 miles an hour. "I want to get home, have a Christmas party and get HIM-" She pointed at Keanu. "Under the mistletoe." She increased the speed.
"Oh…when you put it that way…YEEEE-HA!" Jess yelled.