“What do you think they're staring at?” Jess exclaimed, shovelling more Caesar salad into her mouth.
“Dunno.” Hannah looked over at the table opposite them, where a group of girls were giggling and pointing. “Maybe they think we're someone else.”
“Hmm.” Jess cleared her plate and took a sip of water. As she looked up again she saw one of the girls from the opposite table coming towards her, clutching a napkin and pen.
“E-excuse me?” She stammered.
“Yes?” Jess asked.
“A-are...I...I...”
“Spit it out, girl, for God's sake!” Jess demanded impatiently.
“Oh my God! It is you!” The girl squeaked. “C-could you sign this for me?!” She thrust the napkin and pen under Jess's nose.
“All right...” Jess wrote her name on the napkin rather uncertainly and handed it back to the girl.
“Oh THANK YOU! THANK YOU!” The girl ran back towards her friends, squealing: “The President of the World signed my loo roll!”
“LOO ROLL?!” Jess exclaimed. “I thought it was a napkin!”
Hannah sniggered into her tofu steak.
“Shut up...” Jess blushed and crunched on a crouton.
“There are quite a few famous-looking people around here...” Hannah commented looking around the London restaurant.
“Apparently this is a popular hang-out for celebrities...” Jess surveyed the flash decorations, glass tables and silver mirrors everywhere. “Yeah, I guess I can see why...the food's quite good too.”
The kitchen door burst open and the chef swept out, removing his hat and standing by the table. “Thank you very much, President Jess.” He beamed.
“Jamie Oliver!!” Hannah exclaimed.
“Hello.” Jamie smiled.
“Sit down...” Jess pushed out a chair for him. “This is a nice chicken Caesar salad, boy.”
“Thank you very much, Miss President, you're so kind and gentle!”
“Please,” Jess said in a disgusted tone.
“Sorry, Miss President-”
“Call me Jess, for God's sake.”
“Jess, of course Miss President! Of course! Thank you kindly!”
“Oh for God's sake just tell me the recipe for this salad and then bugger off!”
“Yes Miss President...” Jamie made a lunge for Jess's napkin to write down the ingredients.
“WAIT!” Jess picked up her napkin and sniffed it suspiciously. “Ok...carry on.” She handed the napkin back to Jamie who started scribbling on it frantically.
“Shall we go after this?” Hannah asked, looking askew at a guy wearing a hat with a really obvious camera lens poking out of it.
“Yeah.” Jess took the napkin from Jamie. “Can we have the bill, please?”
“Oh, there's no charge, Miss President.”
“Seriously,” Jess took out her purse. “How much?”
“NO CHARGE, Miss President.” Jamie repeated.
“Sod you then.” Jess stood up. “Come on, Hans, we're going.”

Jess and Hannah got home to Number 10 to find Billy, Dom, Brian and Keanu having a Matrix fight in the front room.
“Boys.” Jess tutted.
“Aha-ha!” Dom cried. He leapt up and tried to do a flying kick but fell on his butt instead. “OW!”
Jess sighed. “Why does he have to embarrass me?!”
“All dads have to...” Hannah stopped, annoyed, as her mobile was ringing. “Hello? Dad? Yes...I know I've been away for months...yes, I know I haven't contacted you...oh, I have to go, bye!” Hannah sighed and put her phone away. “We should go somewhere else...like space.”
“Mars!” Brian shrieked.
“Yeah!” Hannah looked at Jess and grinned. “Let's make a second Earth on Mars!”
“Haven't we got enough land on Earth already?!” Jess sighed, feeling it would be a bit of a waste of money. A huge waste of money.
“Not really.”
“What do you mean, 'not really'?!” Jess exclaimed.
“Well, I want a planet. I want a planet aaaaaall to myself.” Hannah said.
“Blimey, you don't ask much, do you?!” Jess exclaimed.
“Not really.” Hannah smiled sweetly. “So, can we go into space?”
Jess paused. “Well, I do have 24 billion aside to clear world debt and bring about world peace...”
“Excellent! Let's use that!” Hannah cried happily.
“Wicked! We're going into space!” Brian said.
“Who said you were coming?!” Jess asked, annoyed.
“Can I come?” Keanu asked, hopefully.
“Of course you can!” Hannah said. “You can be my man.”
Keanu looked worried for a moment but decided that it was worth being sexually harassed by Hannah in order to have the amazing experience of going into space.
“I'll go and ring some people then...” Jess walked over to the phone. “Hello? Nasa? Yes...I've got some work for you...”

20 minutes later (those boys at Nasa were quick workers), Jess, Hannah, Keanu, Brian, Dom and Billy were being taken to Heathrow Airport in a stretched limousine.
“So run through the schedule again...” Jess said.
“Ok...” Hannah answered. “We're gonna catch Concorde to America where at a secret place we'll get on the new space carrier that'll take us to Mars.”
“So what the hell have they done to the planet?” Billy asked. “I mean, we're not just going to an empty planet are we because that would be boring.”
“I think they've somehow managed to make an ozone layer and have started to build huge glass hotels and rainforests.” Jess answered. “Well, at least that's the gist of what I got over the phone. They had to be brief, I think they thought the phone was being tapped and that it was Zane Lowe.”
“Oooh.” Said Hannah.
“I don't think I want to go on a plane again.” Jess said, remembering the antics of Book One and Five.
“Don't worry, snookums. Daddy's here.” Dom reassured her. Hannah laughed and tried to hide the fact with her hand.
“Shut it, Man-Eater. You can mock, but who's gonna be holding YOUR hand on the way up?!” Jess snapped.
“Keanu will hold my hand, won't you, Keanu?” Hannah said, defensively.
“Uh...yeah.” Said Keanu uncertainly, hoping he wasn't sitting next to this crazy individual.
“SEE?!” Hannah stuck her tongue out at Jess, who ignored her.
Finally the car pulled up at Heathrow and an important-looking dude in shades and a suit opened the car door to let them out.
“Miss President, welcome to Heathrow.”
“Thank you.” Jess couldn't resist the ex-Agent-Smith-Matrix gag, especially with the dude looking so much like an agent.
“If you'd like to follow us we'll take you through to the plane.” The dude steeped back to allow Jess space to get out. She saw a small gaggle of other dudes in black suits and shades.
“Woah.” Jess observed, realising that some of the guys had guns. “Is all this really necessary?”
“It's for your protection, ma'am.” Another dude said.
“And ours.” Muttered another one. Jess decided to ignore that comment.
“Right,” said Brian, the last to leap out of the limo. “Let's go into space!”
“Why are we letting him come with us again?” Jess asked, wearily.
“I could dispatch him if you would like, ma'am.” Said one of the be-suited men, cocking his gun.
“NO!” Hannah shrieked. “Now look here, Jess, you got two hobbits, now I get two people too, alright?! It's only fair.”
“I didn't get the sodding RIGHT hobbits, though, did I?!” Jess muttered to herself.
“What?” Billy and Dom asked in unison.
“Nothing.” Jess replied, crossly.