10 minutes later Jess, dressed but with a headscarf
obscuring her face, ran out of her door, nutted a few photographers and ran into
Hannah's room.
"Woah." She removed her headscarf. "MANK."
"Well, what do you EXPECT, you SICKO?!" Said Hannah, p*ssed off from lack of
sleep.
"Don't get p*ssed off with me just because I got my end away and you didn't!"
Jess said. "HOW many men have you had in The Book?!"
"Well...I..."
"And how many have I had?!"
"Well-"
"And how many bl**dy FATHERS have I had?!"
"Well-"
"Exactly."
"Don't you think you're going to get away with all this without hearing
something from each one of your fathers." Hannah warned.
Jess shrugged.
"Seriously! Dom and Xander have already rung ME up to have the 'Birds & The
Bees' chat!"
"Oh! I feel so ASHAMED!!" Jess fell to her knees on the floor and started
to cry.
"Oh for God's sake, I know you're feeling good." Hannah said, shaking her head.
"Look, I think we should get out of Space." She decided aloud. "WEIRD things
have been happening whilst we've been here..."
"Like what?" Jess wiped her eyes with a hanky.
"Like...like ALIENS! And the fact that you're getting all the men! And
the fact that I've lost ALL attractiveness to the opposite sex!"
Jess thought. "Yeah, things have been a little different lately, haven't
they?"
"Yes!" Hannah shook her head. "Honestly," She tutted. "I half expect to hear
from Chris Joannou in a minute telling me he has annulled the marriage..."
There was a silence.
Jess and Hannah both waited for a minute.
More silence.
"I think we sh-"
RING! RING!
"Excuse me..." Hannah picked up her mobile. "Hello?" Pause. "HI CHRIS!!" Pause.
Longer pause. "Oh...right." Pause. "So, it's over?" Pause. "I understand."
Pause. "Can I still send you a Christmas card?" Long pause. "Alright then. I
understand. Speak to you much later. Bye."
"I'm sorry." Said Jess.
"It's ok. I hate my life at the moment." Hannah said. "Let's go back to EARTH!"
"I'm LOVING life at the moment." Jess paused. "Let's stay the hell HERE!"
"We can't! This has gone on long enough! We have to
go home!" Hannah protested.
"We're FUGITIVES." Jess said. "We can't go home. We'll be locked up
immediately."
"We could go into hiding."
"That would NEVER work!"
"It WOULD! It HAS to be better than THIS!" Hannah gesticulated wildly. "I'm a
BARREN WASTELAND! I NEED MEN!"
"I don't WANT TO GO!" Jess sulked.
Some reporters smashed the door in.
"On second thoughts..." Jess said, backing away.
Hannah took two curtain poles from their settings and passed one to Jess.
"We'll beat our way out."
The door sprang open. The journalists and photographers
crowded around excitedly. Then, suddenly...
THWACK! Hannah smashed her way through the crowd with the curtain pole, beating
herself a clear path.
Jess came out close behind her.
"We have to get to the DOCKING BAY!" Hannah yelled back to Jess. There was no
reply. "JESS?!"
She turned and saw that Jess was going back towards Chris's door.
"NOOOOOOO!"
Jess banged on the door and Chris emerged from inside.
"QUICK!" Jess dragged him out the door and beat a path through the crowd.
Hannah led the way and they ran out of the hotel and towards the docking bay.
"RUN!" Hannah screamed as she saw a massive group of policemen coming after
them.
They leapt into the nearest spaceship and Chris took the controls.
"GO! GO!" Hannah demanded.
"Yes, yes he does." Jess said.
"GAH!" Hannah tried to stop the mental images.
They took off and flew away from the space station.
"We're nearly out of range..." Chris said.
They zoomed out into Space and towards Earth.
They zoomed through the Earth's atmosphere and Chris
scouted for a place to land.
"There!" Hannah pointed to a random car park in Oxford,
the town near to where she and Jess lived.
"No, THERE!" Jess pointed to another car park, that looked exactly the
same except for the fact that it had recycle bins.
Chris parked in another, completely random car park that had a bunch of trollies
in it.
"WAHEY!" The three of them all ran off the ship, ecstatic to be back on Earth,
back to a normal life.
After running around in circles for a while, Chris hailed a taxi.
"TAXI!"
A taxi screeched to a halt. They all hopped in and closed the doors.
"JESS! And HANNAH!!!"
The two girls looked up and saw, to their amazement and disgust, Jimmy.
"JIMMY!" They both exclaimed.
"Hello!" He grinned into the rear-view mirror at the two girls.
"Take us home, will you?"
"But of course." Jimmy pulled out and started driving.
"YEY! I'm going HOME!" Hannah smiled happily.
"Except we don't HAVE a home..." Jess said, moodily. "I guess we could
stay with my parents."
"Oh, yeah, that'll be fun." Hannah said, thinking of how little
sleep she had had last night.
"Here." Jimmy proclaimed.
"YEY!" Hannah rolled out of the taxi followed by Jess and Chris.
"Bye then! See you in Book Seven!" Jimmy drove off.
"Too late." Hannah snorted.
They turned to Jess's parents' house.
"Here we are." Jess said. "Home...no problems, no adventures, no issues..."
BAMF!
(Suddenly, a gigantic spaceship dropped out of the sky and squashed them flat.)
To read another version of Book Six, follow the link on the Book Six homepage.
� Jess and
Hannah 2003-2004
(Yes, that's right, it took us 18 months)