The ship shook violently.
"What's happening?!" Jess asked.
"I think the ship's flying out of the worm hole." Chris yelled above the roar of
the ship. "It's pulling against the gravity."
The ship shuddered, crunched, then shot forward suddenly and they saw stars
amongst the blackness.
"We're OUT!" Hannah gasped. "We MADE IT!"
The ship circled and came head to head with a bunch of police-ships.
"Oh, W*NK." Jess swore.
"They've got us in a tractor-beam." Chris said, taking his hands off the
controls in defeat. "DAMMIT!"
They watched, helpless, as they were drawn in towards the dreaded Space station.
"OH MY GOD! JESS AND HANNAH!" A voice yelled as the three
adventurers left the ship in the docking bay.
"Yes...AND...?" Jess muttered, p*ssed off that they'd been caught.
"They're ALIVE!" Another voice yelled.
"What the...?" Hannah looked up to see a huge crowd of people gazing at them in
wonder. There were also pictures of them plastered all over the docking bay
walls.
"What's all THIS?!" Jess exclaimed.
"We thought you had died in the worm hole!" Someone called out.
"We've had the Space Station dedicated to you," Someone else added. "It's the
Jess and Hannah Space Station now!"
"And we made Jess President of the World!" Someone else said.
"What?!" Hannah exclaimed. "WHY?!"
"Well...we thought she was dead...it seemed like a good idea at the time..."
"YEY!" Jess looked overjoyed. "I'm in charge! Ok, you, on your knees." She
demanded to Chris.
"How come YOU'RE President of the World?!" Hannah asked, annoyed.
"We pulled names out of a hat." A member of the crowd answered.
Hannah scowled. "Rats."
"You were chosen to be the Court Jester!"
Someone told her.
"Oh f*ck." Hannah groaned. "Who pulled the names out of the hat?" She asked. "I
want to beat them up."
"Zane Lowe." Someone said.
"Bring him here!" Hannah ordered.
"We only take orders from President Jess." The crowd said.
"And that's the way I like it." Jess smiled, smugly, signing for a delivery of
socks whilst Chris looked on nervously.
"Jess," Hannah pleaded. "Please tell them to get Zane Lowe."
"Why should I?" Jess said, opening up the box of socks.
"Please!" Hannah whinged. "I wanna kick his ARSE!"
"Eh..." Jess shrugged, not caring.
"Please Jess."
"No."
"Please Jess."
"No!"
"Jess!"
"NO."
"JESS!"
"NOOO!"
"JESSSS!!"
"NOOOOO!!"
"JESSSSS! DO IT!"
"Fine! Then will you F*CK off so I can sexually abuse Chris with
socks?!"
"WHAT?!" Chris piped up.
"Yeah. Who'd want to be around for that, anyway." Hannah tried to get the mental
images out of her head.
"Good." Jess smiled, satisfied. (Well, not completely satisfied of
course). "Get her Zane Lowe." She said to a man standing near her.
"Yes, Miss President." He ran off.
"NOW..." Jess rounded on Chris.
"Waaaaaaa!" He backed up to the wall.
Zane turned up a couple of minutes later and was hurriedly
shoo-ed away, along with Hannah and everyone else who had been hanging around.
"Right." Hannah was P*SSED. "Why did you pick Jess and not me
for President of the World?!"
"Well-" Zane began.
"AND DON'T SAY IT'S GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH HER HAVING POLITICS
QUALIFICATIONS, BECAUSE THAT'S ARSE!" Hannah yelled. "George Bush bad,
Tony Blair bad, fox hunting bad...see...I've got the right idea..."
Zane rolled his eyes. "Sure."
"Well, you'll REGRET picking HER. She'll make a RUBBISH President."
"Well, she hasn't caused much trouble SO far..." Zane reflected.
"She wasn't here! You thought she was DEAD!" Hannah said, incredulously.
Zane shrugged. "Sorry." He paused. "Truth be told, I wanted to be
President."
"I can believe THAT." Hannah muttered.
They rounded a corner.
"HANNAH!" It was Grant. "I heard you'd come back! I was so WORRIED! I thought
you were DEAD!"
"Yeah, some really odd stuff has happened..." Hannah began. "Grant, you don't
happen to have Gerald Butler's phone number, do you?"
A few hours later, Hannah was sat in the bar with Grant,
Zane and Jamie Oliver, who had joined them when he heard his old boss was back
from the dead.
"Wonder where Jess is." Hannah pondered aloud.
As if in answer, Jess and Chris walked into the bar. Jess looked very happy.
Chris looked very disturbed.
"Oh, hi!" Jess sat down with Hannah.
"I don't want to know." Hannah said decidedly, seeing the
look on Chris's face.
"I wouldn't want to tell you anyway." Jess smirked.
"Hi! My name's Jamie!" Jamie introduced himself excitedly to Chris.
"Hi." Chris shook his hand.
"Have you ever shopped at Sainsbury's?!" Jamie asked.
"No..." Chris said, slightly confused at the randomness of this question. "I
tend to shop at Waitrose..."
"Good butler." Jess patted him on the head. "I mean! Good boy!" She patted him
on the head again correcting herself quickly. "Good MAN." She corrected again,
then shook her head in confusion.
"You should shop at Sainsbury's! In fact, you ALL should!" Jamie continued
excited. "I have leaflets!" He pulled them out of his packet.
"Leave it, Jamie mate." Hannah patted him on the back. "You're not working for
them anymore."
"But...they said they'd come and get me!" Jamie whispered, sounding scared.
Hannah shook her head.
� Jess and
Hannah 2003-2004
(Yes, that's right, it took us 18 months)