They soon found that
backstage was as much of a maze as the Ultimate Challenge had been.
"Why don't these people put SIGNS up around here!" Hannah exclaimed, looking
from door to door. They were stood in front of three doors and no corridors.
"I think we took a wrong turning." Jess said. "I'm sure you're only meant to get
out of here by going back through corridors to get to the lift."
"Thank you for that, Jess." Chris said sarcastically. "Why don't we just kill
ourselves now!"
Jess half-fainted and lost all stability, knocking through one of the doors and
falling into the room and onto the floor.
"Jess, I wasn't being serious..." Chris knelt down beside her and checked
whether her forehead was hot with the back of his hand.
Jess, muttering something about a stick-fight, fell unconscious.
"Oh NO!" Hannah gasped, looking back down the corridor from which they had come.
A hoard of red aliens were pelting towards them, screaming at Jess and Hannah
and holding rather pointy looking sticks. "QUICK!" Hannah shouted above the
noise. "DRAG HER IN!"
Chris grabbed the still unconscious Jess by both arms and pulled her gently into
the room and out of the doorway.
Hannah slammed the door shut and looked around for something to barricade it.
She saw a small sofa and managed to drag it across just in time before the
aliens pelted into the other side of the door and tried to force it open.
"Great." She said sarcastically. "Well, that will hold thousands of aliens for
approximately a minute." Hannah looked at Jess laying on the floor cradled in
Chris's arms. "Wake her up!" She said, fed up.
Jess opened one eye half-way and death-stared Hannah.
Hannah stuck her tongue out in response.
"Well, there's only one way we can get out of here..." Hannah decided after a
moment's pondering.
Jess, now no longer pretending to be unconscious, and Chris, looked up at her.
"The window." Hannah announced.
Duh, duh, DUH!!
The three looked around, concerned, as dramatic music sounded from somewhere.
"Come on..." Hannah practically forced Jess and Chris out of the window and
along the ledge outside. She hopped out last and shut the window behind her,
just in time as inside the room the aliens finally burst in. "Ok." Hannah looked
around.
"NOW what?!" Jess shrieked.
"We climb DOWN!" Hannah pointed.
Jess looked down, then at Hannah, then down again. "I've just developed
vertigo." She announced, clinging onto one of Chris's legs.
"No, you haven't. Now climb DOWN." Hannah demanded.
"I like it here." Jess insisted still clinging onto Chris's leg.
"No, you DON'T. NOW climb DOWN!" Hannah yelled.
They heard voices from inside the room.
"They disappeared!"
"Where did they go?"
"They've just...VANISHED!"
"That's impossible..."
"There's only one place they could have gone..."
Hannah gulped. "Oh, B*LL*CKS." She looked down off their ledge. "Maybe if we
jump off we'll hit a ledge further down."
"Yeah, or maybe we'll smash into the ground at the bottom!" Jess said,
scornfully.
A small red alien poked their head through the window.
"Eeeee!" Jess backed away.
"Jump." Hannah commanded.
"What?!" Chris exclaimed.
"There's nothing else for it. JUMP." Hannah repeated.
"We'll be killed for sure!" Jess squeaked.
"Just do it!" Hannah closed her eyes, and jumped.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Jess cried. "HANNAH!"
Three more aliens appeared through the window. Jess looked at Chris. Chris
looked at Jess.
They joined hands, and jumped.
Hannah had fallen down a long way before she
dared to open her eyes. Bizarrely, everything was black around her. Air whooshed
up from below her as she fell, blowing her hair around her face.
Finally, she fell down with a bump on a hard, smooth black floor. She was
surprised it didn't hurt more, considering the velocity she must have built up.
A few seconds later, Jess and Chris fell from the sky and landed nearby.
"OW!"
"OW!"
"Hello." Hannah waved.
"Where are we?" Jess asked.
"It's like that place we crashed the spaceship in." Hannah realised.
"My...spaceship..." Chris remembered, sadly.
"Maybe we could find a new door..." Hannah considered.
"Do you think that's such a good idea after LAST TIME?!" Jess said, crossly.
"ANY OTHER IDEAS?!" Hannah yelled, indicating to the huge black open space. Her
voice echoed around them.
"Ok, ok." They began to walk, picking a direction at random.
"Jess, you can let go of my hand, now."
"No."
They walked on a bit further.
"Jess. Seriously. I can't feel my fingers."
"Shut up."
They walked on.
"Jess. You're hurting me."
Jess didn't reply.
After what seemed like several hours of
walking, Hannah stopped and slumped to the floor. "It's HOPELESS!" She
proclaimed. "There's NOTHING here. We're SCREWED and FINISHED!"
"So do all who live to see such times, but-"
"Shut up, Jess."
There was a silence.
"I've had an idea." Said Jess, after a moment.
"It'd better be a damn good one." Hannah sulked.
Jess fumbled in a pocket (Hannah's) and pulled out a penknife.
"Why do you have a penknife?" Chris asked. It doesn't strike me as the sort of
thing you'd carry..."
"Nicked it from Jimmy in Book Two," Hannah explained. "When you and your best
friend are constantly being dragged into mad adventures, you need to be
prepared."
Jess opened the penknife and took to the floor with it, slicing into the
blackness.
"What are you-" Chris was cut short as light poured from the line Jess had cut.
"You GENIUS!" Hannah exclaimed.
Jess cut two more lines to create a square flap. She pulled it back and blinked
as light and air rushed up into her face.
"Let's go!" Hannah dangled her legs into the hole and jumped in.
� Jess and
Hannah 2003-2004
(Yes, that's right, it took us 18 months)