Jess walked over to the help-desk near the front doors to the train station. “Hi.” She said to the goofy looking man behind the desk. “Where's the nearest hospital?”
The man looked up, gormlessly. “There are 105 in London, three are equally spaced from this station.”
Jess stood back in disgust – this man was far too sad. “Where has Daniel Radcliffe been taken?”
“Why,” The man guffawed. “Are you paedophiles?!”
“No, we're just sad stalkers.” Hannah said, begrudgingly.
The man snorted with laughter, “He got taken to King's Cross.”
“Isn't that another train station?” Jess asked.
“No, stupid.” The man sniggered. “It's a hospital too.”
Jess ignored him, grabbed Hannah's hand and ran out to the taxi rank, hailing one with a spare limb (which happened to be her left leg).
“Hi! We need to get to King's Cross Hospital, and don't spare the horses!” Jess said, leaping in.
“Joaquin?” Asked Hannah, hopefully, peering around the front headrest.
“Eh?” Grunted the driver, who was about 52, balding, and had several facial piercings.
“ARRGH!” Hannah crawled back into her seat.
The cab drove off.

The cab screeched to a halt outside the hospital and Jess and Hannah leapt out.
“That'll be 17 pound, 50, please.” The driver said, lighting up a cigarette.
Hannah pulled out a 20 pound note from her stash of pawned-ring money and handed it over.
The cab started to drive off.
“Hey, wait!” Hannah called after him. “What about my change?”
“That's my tip.” The guy replied, putting his foot down. The cab disappeared into the dusty streets of London.
“ARSE.” Muttered Hannah. “Think of what we could have bought with that �2.50!”
“Never mind that now,” Jess said. “We've got to get in there.” They ran up the drive and burst in the main doors.
“Hi, we need to know what ward Daniel Radcliffe is on!” Hannah said to the lady behind reception.
“Oh, yeah?” Said the lady.
“Yeah.”
“Are you relatives?”
“No.”
“Friends?”
“No…not exactly.”
“So why do you need to see him?”
“Now look here, missy!” Hannah said, crossly. “I'm his mother!”
“You said you weren't relatives.”
“I'm NOT! I'm his MOTHER!” Hannah paused. “Are you STUPID?!”
“Forget it, Hans.” Jess dragged her from reception. “There's only one sensible course of action now.”
“What's that?”
“You have to seduce two nurses so we can nick their uniforms.”
“Oh-ho-ho!”

Jess and Hannah peered around the corner of a private room where two male nurses were making a bed.
“So then Gareth told me to shut up.”
The other man looked up in shock. “Never!” He flopped his hand over. “So vulgar!!”
“I know, so then I called him a pee-wee, then told him to go away and find another man that will take his husband-beating and harsh spanking in good humour.”
“YOU GO sister!”
Jess and Hannah looked at each other. “Your idea could be harder to act out than originally presumed.
“There's got to be some straight male nurses in this hospital.” Jess sighed, walking on.
“Hello, who's this?” Jess and Hannah looked through the window in the door to the nurse changing room. There was a man with his back to them, removing his nurse shirt.
“Looks promising.” Jess said, quietly.
The nurse turned around to put his work-shirt in his bag. Jess and Hannah took one look at the tight shirt he was now wearing saying: “Frankie, RELAX” And stamped on the floor in anger.
“ARSE!” Cried Hannah.
Jess, just to make sure, checked out the back of his shirt as he turned around but it had been bigger writing then had been on the front, saying: “IT'S RAINING MEN! HALLELUJAH!!”
“Bollocks.” Jess thumped the wall with a clenched fist.
“You'd better be careful. Fists get broken that way.” Said a voice behind her. Jess turned around to see a male nurse.
“Are you gay?” She asked him suddenly.
“I'm sorry?”
“Are you gay?”
“No.”
“Do you have a male nurse friend, currently on duty who is also not gay?”
“Um…yes.”
“Where is he?”
“In there.” The nurse jabbed a thumb back at the changing rooms.
“Great. What was your name?”
“Joe.”
“Joe, great. And your friend's name?”
“Andy.”
“That's great. HANNAH!” Jess called her over. “Get in there.”
She pushed Hannah and Joe into the changing room.