“You poor little orphan!” Hannah sniffed.
“Hans, that was just in the film.” Jess reminded her.
“Shut up.” Hannah pushed her away. “What you don't know can't hurt you, can it angel?”
Daniel looked up at her half in disgust, half in shock. “Clearly.”
“Hans, don't you think we should be getting back to the show?” Jess looked anxiously at all the departing children.
“Just because you want your son.”
Jess cleared her throat and in a strange voice said: “I don't know what you mean.”
“Come on.” Hannah pulled Daniel to his feet and went back to under their box. It was a tight squeeze, being only an empty TV box.
“Take off your sock.” Jess demanded.
“What?” Asked Daniel, shakily.
“It's a puppet show…remove your sock, put it on your hand and hand-act like you've never done so before!!”
“That should be easy.” Muttered Daniel. “I've never hand-acted before.”
“Now, I don't want to hear your father's dry witty, sarcasm. It's cute with him but not with you – you're too young.” Hannah lectured. “And I've been meaning to tell you off for copying your father's lame idea of plucking your eyebrows – you naughty, NAUGHTY boy!!”
“I don't understand…” Daniel edged away from Hannah and closer to Jess, who seemed vaguely sane.
“Hannah saw you in Harry Potter, thought you were really sweet and decided to adopt you.” Jess explained.
“But…I have parents already!” He protested.
“Tell me about it.” Jess pulled a birth certificate out of her pocket. It unfolded several times and unrolled to the floor.
“Bloody hell.” Daniel exclaimed.
“LANGUAGE!” Hannah smacked him around the head.
“I don't suppose you've got any large stacks of money we could 'borrow', have you?” Jess asked Daniel hopefully.
“Not until I'm 18.”
“Those damn fake parents of yours! Keeping your riches from you…and me.” Hannah muttered.
“Who are you and what are you doing on the streets?” Daniel asked, minorly disturbed by the two strangers who had been begging him for money already.
“More importantly, what are YOU doing on the streets, young man? It's a dangerous place, a very-“
“I'm Jess and this is Hannah. We're on the streets because…” Jess reflected on this. “Well...It's a LONG story.”
“I've got a long time.”
“Well…ok. There was this plane flying to Australia, but it crashed, and then there was this island…”

“…and then the plane didn't crash and we had no money.” Jess finished, 6 hours later.
“Wow.” Said Daniel.
“Awwww.” Hannah ruffled his hair.
“What? I just said 'wow'!”
“AWWWW!”
Jess pulled Hannah aside. “Look, as hard as this is going to sound, I think we should limit how much we say to Daniel-“
“Daniel Junior.” Corrected Hannah. “We don't want our readers to be confused now, do we?”
“-Daniel Junior. We don't want him to find out that his best friend is a bastard.”
“Don't speak so nastily about your son!” Hannah cried.
“No! I mean the real use of the term bastard…” Jess leaned closer. “You know, my illegitimate offspring from my affair with Paul Scholes.”
“Jess, I was pretending, you've taken it too far!”
Jess, confused and now thinking about Paul Scholes, frowned.
“Just get some money off him to supplement the �250 we got from pawning the ring.”
Jess's phone suddenly started ringing. “Hello?”
“Jess?! It's Elijah. Did you say something about the ring?”
“Not THAT ring.”
“Oh. Sorry. Bye!” He hung up.
“Arse. I was hoping it'd be someone offering me money.”
“Ooh, hang on, I have a plan!” Hannah ran over to Daniel. “Daniel Junior, now would you like to do Mummy a favour?”
“What is it?” He asked, suspiciously.
“Well, we know you can't get us any money, but how about you help us some other way…?”

A little girl opened her front door to see Daniel standing on her porch wearing Jess's glasses and with his hair messed up to a ridiculous degree.
“Hi.” He said, reeling off a pre-prepared script. “I'm Harry Potter.” He raised a hand with a twig in it and waved it around a bit. “Do you happen to have a spare room (preferably ensuite) that my companions and I could use?”
The girl gaped at him.
“Are you…are you REALLY…?”
She gazed at him in amazement.
“Hang on!” Jess's voice sounded from a bush in the front garden before her hand protruded and pulled Daniel out of sight amongst the leaves. There was a quick 'twack!' and Daniel cried:
“OW!” He was pushed out of the bush and staggered back to the door. “Um…Yes. I REALLY am.” He pulled up his fringe to reveal a rather wonky (and suspiciously new looking) lightening-shaped mark on his forehead.
“WOW!” The little girl opened to door wide. “Come in. Come in!”
Jess and Hannah emerged from the garden and dashed in behind him.
“Hi…I played…Dobby…” Hannah said, not particularly convincingly as she walked past the girl.
“Who did you play?” The girl asked looking up at Jess.
“Um…” Jess racked her brains and looked at the girl. “Hagrid.”