"Are you coming
in?" Elijah asked, after Jess and Hannah had stood staring
at him for 3 minutes.
"Um…I…I…I – I…um…I…"
Hannah opened and shut her mouth like a news presenter on mute.
"Ooh, hello." Billy appeared behind Elijah. "Are
you coming in?" Jess steadied herself. She'd dealt with
worse. This was FINE.
"Um, yes, we're-" Jess cut off as Dom appeared in the
doorway.
"Are you coming in?"
Jess staggered sideways and banged her head on the doorframe.
Sean appeared too.
"Are you coming in?"
"WILL you PLEASE stop asking us that?!" Hannah yelled
shakily.
"Oh. Ok." Said Elijah. "But…are you
coming in?"
Jess and Hannah
cautiously made their way into the boy's suite and made for the
nearest sofa before they both fell over.
"Ooh, would you like some ice for that?" Billy popped
up in front of Jess out of nowhere as she clutched her head.
"JUST STOP IT!" She screamed.
"Ooh, ok!" Billy hopped off and sat down grinning like
a hobbit on speed (or mushrooms).
Hannah had almost stopped hyper-ventilating. "So, how
are you?"
"Fine!" Answered Sean.
"Tea?" Asked Elijah.
"Indeed to goodness!" Dom replied. Hannah laughed
herself to a right state before choking on her tongue.
Suddenly the phone in their suite rang and Billy, the nearest,
picked it up.
"Hello?" He said. "Ooh, hello! Yeah sure." He
handed it to Jess. "It's for you."
"WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN! IT'S MURDER DOWN HERE!!"
Jess held the receiver at arms-length and gave it back to Billy.
"Ooh. You don't have to go, do you?"
Jess had a minor battle inside her head. Then answered: "No!
Don't be silly!"
"Ooh good! We can play poker then!"
4 rounds of poker later
Hannah had lost every penny she had on her (and the deeds to a
house she didn't actually have). Jess, despite having no idea how
to play, had won 24 pounds, 73 p.
Hannah's walkie-talkie crackled.
"WHERE ARE YOU? YOU'VE BEEN AN HOUR AND A HALF! HAVE YOU
FALLEN DOWN THE LAUNDERY SHUTE AGAIN?!"
Hannah picked up the chunky handset and said:
"We're dealing with some…" She looked around at
Dom, Billy, Sean and Elijah. "DIFFICULT customers on the
third floor." Dom stifled a laugh.
"Oh. Oh, sorry." The walkie-talkie crackled and fell
silent.
"Smoothly done." Said Sean, dealing out another hand of
cards.
"Thanks." Hannah placed a card on the table.
"Oh, Jesus, Jess, how have you managed to get a royal flush
AGAIN?" Dom threw his cards down and gave her a five pound
note.
Jess developed a REAL flush, going pink and sliding down in her
seat.
"Why don't we all
go to the cinema, or something?" Elijah asked, fed up with
the one-way flow of money in this game.
"Yeah, there's a really good cinema we live next to!"
Hannah said, remembering the queues coming out of it. "It's
quite busy most of the time."
"Well, since we technically own your house, it might be nice
to have a look around." Dom said.
"Great!" Jess said, wobbling slightly as she got up and
put money in her pocket. "We'll see you after we've finished
work tonight."
They went to the door as Elijah held it open politely. As they
went past Hannah said: "Do it! Do it again, Elijah!"
Elijah went pink. "Not in front of all of them."
"Oh come on, they're all adults…with a few
exceptions." Dom grinned cheekily.
"Oh." Elijah whined.
"Do it!"
"But they'll tease me about how good I am."
"Please! For my sake! You know you'll enjoy it really."
Elijah sighed. "Ok then." He looked at the floor, then
looked up evilly.
"They're here…"
"YEY!"
Hannah unlocked the door to
their flat and hurried up the stairs, which played the tune of 'O
Happy Day' – Jess staggered in behind her.
"Hurry up, Jess! The guys are coming to pick us up in 15
minutes!" Hannah's head appeared at the top of the stairs.
"They might even bring Orlando!" She sighed and ran off
again.
Jess hung up her coat and walked slowly up the stairs, which
played a funeral march.
Hannah was in her room, clothes being hurled randomly out of the
door.
"What do you think are 'cinema clothes'?" She asked.
"I don't know," Muttered Jess. "It's DARK in a
cinema. Wear what you want." Hannah paused in mid-throw.
"Aren't you going to get changed?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" Jess asked,
mildly offended.
"Um…well…" Hannah shrugged, realising she had
dug herself into a hole. She began grabbing clothes again.
The doorbell rang.
"ARRGH!" Hannah came running into the living room in a
bra and her pants. "Colin, who is it?!"
Colin remained silent.
"COLIN?" Jess looked up at his nearest extension
screen. He was gazing at Hannah, his eyes practically on stalks.
Jess smacked the monitor and Colin blinked.
"Sorry about that…there are five men outside…shall
I let them in?"
"NO! They're early…I'm NEKKID!"
"May I ask why 5 men are outside?" Colin asked as
Hannah tried to get dressed. "Dearest fianc�e?"
Colin added.
"No, Colin." Hannah pulled on the last of her clothes.
"Ok, let them in."
Jess and Hannah heard
them all come in and walk up the stairs. There was a small yelp
as one of them fell over. Dom appeared at the top first, followed
by Sean, Orlando, Billy and a shaken (but not stirred) looking
Elijah.
"You should get that gaping hole in the stairs fixed."
He said, rubbing his shin.
Hannah glared at Colin, who innocently produced a halo on top of
his head on the screen.
"There's a performance of a horror movie on in half an hour,
shall we go?" Asked Orlando.
"Sure!" Squeaked Hannah. "You start going and I'll
grab my handbag."
They all made their way back down the stairs, avoiding the
missing step. Half-way down, Colin cackled and retracted the
steps into a smooth slide. They slid to the bottom in a heap.
Hannah came out of her bedroom with her handbag and batted Colin
round the screen with it.
"How DARE you?!"
Colin almost spat (if possible): "You're going on a DATE!"
"Never!" Hannah smiled sweetly and walked off.
Just as they reached the pavement Jess' mobile started ringing.
She looked at the screen.
"Ah, crap!" She exclaimed.
"Who is it?" Asked Hannah.
"Xander." Jess pressed the 'end call' button.
"Who's Xander?" Asked Sean.
"Her third father." Hannah said nonchalantly.
"Third? How many do you have?" Said
Elijah.
Jess counted on her fingers.
"Er…three."
"Four." Hannah corrected her. "Remember what we
decided about Peter Cook."
"Oh, yeah." Jess turned back to the guys.
"Four."
"Wow." Said Orlando. "You must get a lot of
pocket money."
"Not really," Said Jess. "I don't really see any
of them much."
There was a silence.
"AWWW…" All the guys looked
sympathetic.
"No, stop!" Jess exclaimed. "This is
what happened last time!"
"Don't worry, love," Dom put his hand on her shoulder.
"It'll be ok." He started off down the pavement with
the others and Hannah and Jess heard him mutter to Billy.
"Poor thing. She needs a nice stable family…and
a father figure."
Jess sank to her knees on the pavement.
"NOOOO! WHY, GOD, WHY?!"
� Jess and Hannah 2002