
| Welcome to Chapter Eight - writing in blue is Hannah's, and writing in red is Jess's |
The staff reluctantly
discharged Hannah, despite warning Otto it could seriously damage
his health.
Crouching behind the curtain next to the now-empty bed, Otto
gazed up and down the corridor whilst Hannah held onto his leg.
Jess was discussing allowance rates with Ben and Xander. "Well I'd say �100 a week would be acceptable."
"Would that include you buying your own clothes?"
"NO, silly."
"SHH!" Otto hissed at them. "Here he comes!"
There was a squeak as the bed, plus Gregory, was pushed past them
and into Hannah's old bay.
"He'll like that space
it served me well." Hannah
sighed. "He'll like lobbing grapes at Hannibal Lector
opposite him." She readjusted her grip on Otto's leg. If she
had been hanging onto it in his old ward she could have been
blamed for the fact he was in a wheel chair, what with preventing
blood-flow and all that.
"He doesn't seem to be doing much
or moving for that
matter," Jess said, suddenly sidetracked from money issues.
"Ok, ok," Xander said, sifting through his wallet.
"So I'll pay you an extra �500 for the past five months you've
been here
" Xander handed over 10 �50 notes.
"Then what was this idea about comedy bills to pay??"
Jess went red, she didn't want to have to ask her third dad for
money to buy the rights to the name 'The Jess-Ter', but since her
other two fathers weren't showing their faces, she didn't have
much more choice. The
comedy club would have to wait
Otto snuck up to the end of
the bed and grabbed the chipboard which had all Gregory's notes
on. "Knowledge is power," Otto informed Hannah, still
attached to his leg. "If we know all about the little
b*st*rd, we'll know his weaknesses." He looked at the
clipboard. "Oh."
"What?" asked Hannah.
"These are your notes they must not have
changed them yet." Otto gazed at the piece of paper.
"Hey! You didn't tell me about THAT!" he exclaimed,
suddenly, pointing to her notes. "SICK, Hannah!"
"What?!" she asked, concerned about what he knew.
"1997? That time you went PRIVATE?!" Otto reminded her.
"OOOH. Yes." Hannah went red.
"Ok, so, you will be funding me for my penthouse apartment
in London and my Mercedes," Jess summarised to Ben.
"And YOU will be paying for all clothes, shoes, DVDs
and CDs I consume," she said to Xander.
"I somehow get the feeling that I'm losing out here
somewhere
" Xander started.
"Do you WANT to be a good dad?" Jess
asked him.
"Yes."
"Well, shut up and cough up."
The nurse walked over to Gregory's bed to be met by the sight of
Otto's eager face.
"I'll take those if you'd like?! You go and get on with your
important work."
The nurse ran off as soon as given the
chance, leaving Otto with his grubby gothic hands all over the
records.
"Ok, let's see
" Otto flipped a few
pages, then ruffled a few more and flung two more sheets over his
shoulder. "Oh, oh," Otto said.
"What?" Jess said impatiently, wondering when she could
go out and buy her own palace.
"He's already dead."
"Oh," Hannah said. "Does that mean you won't have
to kill him then?"
"Yes." Otto nodded. "Well, just to make
sure
" Otto banged him over the head repeatedly with
the clipboard followed by a glass jug. They all pulled him away
from Gregory's ultra-dead body and started to walk off.
"Well, that was an anti-climax," Hannah said.
"Or was it?!" Jess said, counting her university funds
and folding down the corner of the note every 1000 pounds.
"Shall we bother getting clearance from Satan?" Ben
asked.
"Nah," Hannah said. "Pointless."
"Like a broken
pencil," said Jess before cracking into hysterics and
rolling on the floor.
"The heat's finally got to her!" Ben exclaimed. They
ran out of the ward and looked down the corridor.
"There's a lift over there!" Otto said, pointing. He
grabbed hold of a nurse who was walking past. "Excuse
me
what floor is the ground floor on?"
"473." The nurse smiled and walked off.
"473rd floor?! How long is it gonna take us to get up
there?!" Ben exclaimed.
"Imagine
all that time, stuck in the close confines of
a lift
together," Xander said to Ben.
"Mum
Dad
please!" Jess went red.
Otto ran up to the lift and pressed the 'call' button. An
electronic voice said, "The lift is on the 300th floor. Coming down."
"D'OH!" Otto said.
"One
two
three
"
"HA!! I WIN AGAIN! ROCK BEATS EVERYTHING!!"
"Apart from paper," Otto grumbled to Hannah.
"So why don't you use paper?" Jess asked, angered by
this childish game before her she could buy the crown
jewels with the money she had. I mean they weren't that
expensive.
"22 21" Ben read. "
0!"
PING!
The lift sprung open to reveal Saddam Hussein standing inside it.
They all got in sheepishly and pressed button 473 which took a
long time to find on the 10 foot lift panel.
"Well, where are you going?" Hannah asked him
cheerfully.
"Nowhere," he replied. Short since he didn't know much
English.
"What's the point standing in the lift for hours if you
aren't going anywhere then?"
"I own this lift."
"Oh." Hannah thought for a short while. "How come?
Did you build it or something?"
"No. I was Satan."
"You were? What happened did you lose the title or
something?" Otto scoffed.
"I meant, I is Satan."
"Now that isn't very good English, is it?!" Jess said
giving him a stern look.
"Jess
stop
correcting Saddam Hussein's English," Ben ordered.
"Aww
" Jess turned into the corner and sulked.
The lift stopped with a thud and the doors opened.
"Floor 410," the lift announced; the doors opening.
Saddam walked out, dragging a nuclear bomb on a lead behind him. "Come on, Rocky," he said, towing it out the door.
They
slid shut again and Hannah began pressing random buttons on the
panel.
"Hannah! NO!" Otto whined. But it was too late.
The lift was going to stop on every single floor between 410 and
0.
"NOOOOO!" Otto dropped to his knees.
"Well, I want the
dress in white with a big veil," Ben said to Xander.
"And the flowers have to be red roses."
"I'd prefer white ones," Xander said.
"LOOK, you two
" Otto was climbing the walls.
"I can't take any more of your wedding plans, ok?!"
"Oh
but Otto
we were going to make you best
man!" Ben said.
"Oh
OH."
Hannah was sat on the floor nodding off to sleep every now and
again.
"Mum, Dad, I think you should give me a contact number for
when I don't see you anymore after we leave the lift."
"Oh," Xander said, feeling rejection. "Well
if that's the way it's going to be I'll have all my money
back."
"Yes, well said dear," Ben said.
"Dammit!"
Jess smacked her head on the panel.
"Doors opening," the lift announced, as Jess pressed a
button with her nose.
"Ah. Time to go," said Ben, linking arms with Xander
and stepping out of the door.
"NO! BEN, XANDER! WE'RE-"
"ARRRGH!" There was a thud.
"Between floors," Otto finished, three seconds too late.
"There goes my money and huge inheritance," Jess
muttered.
The lift doors closed and they whizzed up again.
"Hey
I think we're there!" said Hannah.
The doors
opened. "Ground floor," the lift said.
"Oh, God," said Jess. "Here we go again."
To read the next book, follow the link at the top of the Book Three homepage to Book Four.
� Jess and Hannah 2002