
| Welcome to Chapter Seven - writing in blue is Hannah's, and writing in red is Jess's |
"The square of the
hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two
sides," Jess said. "Oh
thank God."
"I WILL
take over the
uh
uh
oh CRAP!" Hannah
exclaimed, "I was going to take over something."
Otto walked over the Hannah. "Who are silverchair?"
Hannah blinked at Otto. "Oh I LOVE you!"
"That's better," Otto said, smothered in a hug.
Jess got up off the floor and brushed herself down.
"Shall we go home darling?" Xander walked over to Jess
to pet her but got slapped instead.
"Keep away from me Alexander. At least a metre. Ben, you can
come within 10 centimetres."
"But
I'm your MOTHER!" Ben cried.
"What? No you're bloody well NOT."
Ben burst into tears.
"There! I've done what you wanted, now
"
The Wizard wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Leave me
alone!"
"With pleasure," said Otto, momentarily changing into a
llama so that he could defecate on the Wizard's carpet.
"What about Harry?!" Xander asked, pointing at the
banana on the floor.
"Oh, sod 'im." Lee muttered, starting down the stairs.
"I want to go home."
The others followed him down into
the hallway where a fat, jolly looking cook approached them with
a tray of muffins. "Would you like to try my cinnamon muffins?" she asked.
"NO! Get away from us, you foul temptress!" Lee
shouted, covering his eyes and running past her.
"Ooh! Don't mind
if I do!" Hannah said, picking one up whilst walking past.
"They're made with my very own hands, done by my special
recipe!"
"What special recipe is involved with cinnamon
muffins?" Otto said incredulously.
"Caviar!"
Hannah went green and ran out of the castle throwing up behind a
tree.
"Well at least it isn't me!" Lion roared happily,
trotting past with a large diper on.
"You're sad. Very sad," commented Otto.
"This is why we will leave you." He walked off.
Lion
tried to run after them all, but the diper was quite restraining
on his movements. "Come back! My personal problems are under control now! I
won't have to hold you up anymore!" He trotted stiffly after
them. "WAIT!"
"No," Lee shouted, looking over his shoulder in the
fear of seeing the cook again.
"Aw." Lion scowled, then walked back inside to maul the
cook.
"
and that is why
Darwin's theory of evolution is scientifically profound,"
Jess said to Ben as they stumbled, tripped and tumbled (and
crawled, in Otto's case) along the purple slate road.
"Wow. I never knew that there were things in the world THAT
boring," Ben muttered to himself.
"ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'
HUH!"
Hannah yelled, happily, as she skipped down the path, tripping
over a slate here and there and avoiding little 'presents' Lion
had left for them from the outward journey.
"I'm glad you're back to normal," said Otto, when
Hannah had finally finished her yelling.
"Heehee,
yeah," Hannah said continuing to skip so that Otto had to
jog alongside her.
"You were really serious back then."
"Heehee, yeah."
"Do you say anything else?"
"Silverchair. Heehee, yeah."
"Right. You were going to take over the world,
remember?"
"Aww well, heehee, we can always leave that to George Bush.
Yeah."
Suddenly Otto, Hannah, Lee, Ben, Xander and Jess were all thrown
into shadow (a very thin shadow).
"HAULT! I AM THE PIN MAN!"
"Bit late if you want a heart," Jess laughed evilly,
looking at the thin, pin robot-man-thing.
"Where's the scarecrow, Dorothy?!" Otto jeered at the
weak looking figure.
"Who? Oh
you mean Marethrow?"
"MARETHROW?!"
"Yeah, he throws mares
" Pin Man explained.
"This is really weird," said Hannah, pleased she had
spelt 'weird' right.
"I'm looking for my friend, Lion. Have you seen him?"
"If you mean the Incontinent Lion
yes," said Lee,
begrudgingly. "He's at the Sapphire City. You go up the
road, turn left, up a hill-"
"No, not the INCONTINENT Lion!" the Pin Man laughed.
"I wouldn't be seen dead with him!" They all
looked confused. "I was looking for the COWARDLY Lion."
"But
he's a REAL Wizard of Oz character!"
protested Ben.
"Yes
so?"
"Come on, guys, let's go-" Lee started.
"My brain hurts," Hannah muttered.
"Yes, Hannah. YOUR brain," said Otto, happily.
"Otto
?"
"Hmm?"
"Would you do something for me?"
"Don't look at me like that Hannah
I know what
you want
you dirty b*tch."
"Oh
PLEASE
?"
"Oh
ok."
In a puff of smoke, Otto turned into a llama.
"YEY!"
� Jess and Hannah 2002