Welcome to Chapter Seven - writing in blue is Hannah's, and writing in red is Jess's

"The square of the hypotenuse is equal to the sum of the squares of the other two sides," Jess said. "Oh…thank God."
"I WILL take over the…uh…uh…oh CRAP!" Hannah exclaimed, "I was going to take over something."
Otto walked over the Hannah. "Who are silverchair?"
Hannah blinked at Otto. "Oh I LOVE you!"
"That's better," Otto said, smothered in a hug.
Jess got up off the floor and brushed herself down.
"Shall we go home darling?" Xander walked over to Jess to pet her but got slapped instead.
"Keep away from me Alexander. At least a metre. Ben, you can come within 10 centimetres."

"But…I'm your MOTHER!" Ben cried.
"What? No you're bloody well NOT."
Ben burst into tears.
"There! I've done what you wanted, now…" The Wizard wiped his nose on his sleeve. "Leave me alone!"
"With pleasure," said Otto, momentarily changing into a llama so that he could defecate on the Wizard's carpet.
"What about Harry?!" Xander asked, pointing at the banana on the floor.
"Oh, sod 'im." Lee muttered, starting down the stairs. "I want to go home."
The others followed him down into the hallway where a fat, jolly looking cook approached them with a tray of muffins. "Would you like to try my cinnamon muffins?" she asked.
"NO! Get away from us, you foul temptress!" Lee shouted, covering his eyes and running past her.
"Ooh! Don't mind if I do!" Hannah said, picking one up whilst walking past.
"They're made with my very own hands, done by my special recipe!"
"What special recipe is involved with cinnamon muffins?" Otto said incredulously.
"Caviar!"
Hannah went green and ran out of the castle throwing up behind a tree.
"Well at least it isn't me!" Lion roared happily, trotting past with a large diper on.
"You're sad. Very sad," commented Otto. "This is why we will leave you." He walked off.
Lion tried to run after them all, but the diper was quite restraining on his movements. "Come back! My personal problems are under control now! I won't have to hold you up anymore!" He trotted stiffly after them. "WAIT!"
"No," Lee shouted, looking over his shoulder in the fear of seeing the cook again.

"Aw." Lion scowled, then walked back inside to maul the cook.


"…and that is why Darwin's theory of evolution is scientifically profound," Jess said to Ben as they stumbled, tripped and tumbled (and crawled, in Otto's case) along the purple slate road.
"Wow. I never knew that there were things in the world THAT boring," Ben muttered to himself.
"ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN', ROLLIN'…HUH!" Hannah yelled, happily, as she skipped down the path, tripping over a slate here and there and avoiding little 'presents' Lion had left for them from the outward journey.
"I'm glad you're back to normal," said Otto, when Hannah had finally finished her yelling.
"Heehee, yeah," Hannah said continuing to skip so that Otto had to jog alongside her.
"You were really serious back then."
"Heehee, yeah."
"Do you say anything else?"
"Silverchair. Heehee, yeah."
"Right. You were going to take over the world, remember?"
"Aww well, heehee, we can always leave that to George Bush. Yeah."
Suddenly Otto, Hannah, Lee, Ben, Xander and Jess were all thrown into shadow (a very thin shadow).
"HAULT! I AM THE PIN MAN!"
"Bit late if you want a heart," Jess laughed evilly, looking at the thin, pin robot-man-thing.
"Where's the scarecrow, Dorothy?!" Otto jeered at the weak looking figure.
"Who? Oh…you mean Marethrow?"
"MARETHROW?!"
"Yeah, he throws mares…" Pin Man explained.

"This is really weird," said Hannah, pleased she had spelt 'weird' right.
"I'm looking for my friend, Lion. Have you seen him?"
"If you mean the Incontinent Lion…yes," said Lee, begrudgingly. "He's at the Sapphire City. You go up the road, turn left, up a hill-"
"No, not the INCONTINENT Lion!" the Pin Man laughed. "I wouldn't be seen dead with him!" They all looked confused. "I was looking for the COWARDLY Lion."
"But…he's a REAL Wizard of Oz character!" protested Ben.
"Yes…so?"
"Come on, guys, let's go-" Lee started.
"My brain hurts," Hannah muttered.
"Yes, Hannah. YOUR brain," said Otto, happily.
"Otto…?"
"Hmm?"
"Would you do something for me?"
"Don't look at me like that Hannah…I know what you want…you dirty b*tch."
"Oh…PLEASE…?"
"Oh…ok."
In a puff of smoke, Otto turned into a llama.
"YEY!"

<< BACK TO CHAPTER SIX ON TO CHAPTER EIGHT >>

<< back to Book 3.3

� Jess and Hannah 2002

Hosted by www.Geocities.ws

1