The gang were walking along when as quickly as the night before, darkness came. It was just like someone had flicked the switch off and they were plunged into darkness. Hannah, who had been walking beside Otto, purposefully fell into his arms, sideways.
"What the-?" Spike started, then the lights came on (or more accurately the moon came up) and they stood on the ever continuing purple slate road, wondering what the hell to do next.
"What the hell shall we do next?" Ben voiced everyone's concerns."
"I have no idea - but we do appear to be in an opiu- I mean, poppy field," Otto said.
Jess didn't say anything because she thought that she was either going a) insane, or b) hearing a far off cackling.
"I want to go home," Hannah muttered, being stood up once more by Otto.
"Oh, God, I've seen this bit of the film..." said Jess. "The Wicked Witch of the West makes the poppies send everyone to sleep...but the tin man and the scarecrow stayed awake because they're not human." She looked at Otto. "So if we fall asleep, you'll have to wake us up - because you're not human."
"Oh, p*ss o-" Otto was cut short as he convulsed with a giant yawn.
"I'm so tired..." commented Ben, sitting down and killing three rare breeds of poppy in the process.
Jess yawned.
Hannah yawned.
Xander yawned with an air of refinement.
Peter yawned.
Otto yawned.
Spike yawned.
Lion yawned.
Graham yawned.
Jess yawned again.
"Have you all finished?" Lee exclaimed. Being a gremlin and therefore non-human, the poppies had no effect on him.
"No, hang on." Hannah yawned. "Ok."
Jess suddenly fell to the floor, closely followed by Lion and Hannah. Otto and Graham were next.
"Oh, Christ!" Lee kicked Jess. "Get up!" He looked around nervously. "GET UP!" he shouted, but everybody was on the floor either snoring or singing in their sleep (we won't mention who, they'd be too embarrassed). "Oh s*d it." He bedded down on the floor since he knew that he'd get a better night sleep if they were all asleep properly (cushion fights and knock and run games on the doors of bedrooms not included).

Lee woke up happy and refreshed. The silent nights sleep did him well and today was a lovely blue sky day (as per usual in SofaLand).
"Oi! Get your leg off me you arse!!" Hannah's voice sounded from a pile of bodies.
Lee looked up in shock. "You shouldn't be awake!" he cried.
"Why the hell not?" Hannah slapped Otto round the face. "Entertain me monkey!"
"Excuse me?" Otto said opening his eyes.
"Oh, never mind. You're awake now. I'll just watch you."
"Bu...but you shouldn't be awake!!" Lee cried further, getting up and running over to them. Sure enough, everyone was getting up, including Lion, who had shortly after waking, found that he had wet himself during the night and was now behind a nearby bush.
"What can I say? That evil witch isn't that bad - I slept soundly!" Jess commented.
Lee ran around the field next to the road and soon found the witches body. "SHE'S ASLEEP!!" he shouted over.
"And? Everyone needs to sometime..." Hannah said.
Jess trotted over. "Cherie Blair?! I knew it!"
Everyone rose to their feet.
"Shall we keep going?" Lee indicated to the purple slate road winding out of the poppy field and into the distance.
"Guess so." Hannah stretched.
"Ding dong, the b*tch is dead, ding dong, the b*tch is dead..."
"Ooh, hang on...could you all wait a second?"

"Why do you want a brain?" Otto asked Hannah as they walked.
"I dunno...looks fun."
"But...you don't want to end up like her." Otto indicated to Jess.
"Well, I don't know...being able to read Middle English and use long words like 'ABERRANT' would be nice."
"Why?"
"Dunno."
Meanwhile, a similar conversation was taking place...
"Why do you want a heart, Jess?" asked Ben.
"I DON'T."
"But you must already have one, surely," said Peter.
"Yes. I do."
"So why do you want one?" asked Graham.
"I DON'T!"
The Lion ran out from a nearby bush. "I said WAIT!" he roared.
"Oh shut up," snapped Hannah.
Lion roared loudly, whined, grimaced and ran back behind the bush with a screwed up face.
"So why have a brain?" Otto persisted.
"Maybe if you had one, you wouldn't be asking me this stupid question!" Hannah retorted.
Otto paused and thought for a while, shook his head and started up a conversation about Cradle Of Filth.
Lee skipped along freely up front until he spotted two slates missing in the road. "Oh my God!" he let slip.
Suddenly a wisp of cloud appeared in front of him with a faint Bertrude floating inside it.
"Oh sorry Bertrude...I didn't need you."
"This has happened one too many times Lee. Watch your mouth." Bertrude vanished along with the cloud.
"What was that all about?" Peter asked.
"LOOK!" Lee pointed at the gap where the two slates should have been.
"Oh...right." Hannah was unimpressed.
"Don't you realise what this MEANS?" Lee exclaimed.
"It...means...that..." Hannah thought hard. Dammit! She needed that brain and she needed it now!
"Needle Nardle Noo," said Spike.
"Exactly!" Lee exclaimed. "You've got it spot on, there, Spike!"
"What?" Hannah frowned.
"The purple slate road is the very essence...the very building blocks of SofaLand!"
"Oh," said Hannah. "So...two slates missing is quite a big deal?"
"YES!" said Lee, incensed.
"Oh, Christ," said Jess. "Here we go again..."

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� Jess and Hannah 2002

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