“Oh...” Hannah whined, “SH*T!”
Kelly sat next to her on one of the half-constructed hospital wall kicking his legs. “You know, that offer about the broom-cupboard still stands if you want to take out your frustrations--”
“Kelly, I'm not in the mood,” Hannah said abruptly.
“Hi.” Patrick approached the wall and waved.
“And where the hell have you been?” Hannah asked grumpily.
“Helping the Indian guy out in the 24-hour store. Apparently some of the celebrities were giving him a bit of stick.”
“Oh. Well you didn't miss much.”
“Great.” Patrick smiled. “So why are you angry?”
“Oh...Jess caught hypothermia, she's in hospital, there was a huge storm, several people have died, the llama pen got destroyed by a thunderbolt and now all the llamas are running free and Jess hates me.”
“Right,” Patrick said, digesting the string of information.
“My life is sh*t.” Hannah kicked the wall.
“What about me?” Kelly asked.
“Apart from you.”
“Do you want to do something?” Patrick asked.
“Like what?”
“I dunno... walk by the Casino maybe? Have a quick go on the machines?” Patrick suggested as calmly as possible.
“Yeah, ok,” said Hannah, walking off with Patrick.
“What about me?” Kelly called.
“Oh, you can come too if you want?”
“Alright.” Kelly ran after them.

Toby sat on the truck of a fallen palm tree and gazed at the wrecked remains of the llama pen. Everyone had forgotten him lately, and the llamas had been all he had. Now they'd all escaped. Now he had nothing. He sighed and looked at his feet. A small pile of llama faeces lay next to his right trainer. He bent over and sniffed it. It was Lemon's. He burst into tears.
Suddenly he heard a growl from the bushes and a yelp. Then Tyke burst out from the nearest bush closely followed by Terror the Tiger.
“Leave him alone, you b*st*rd! Or I'll kick your furry feline arse!” Toby stood up and hurled a rock at Terror, who growled and then fled back into the bushes.
Tyke sheltered behind Toby's legs for safety.
“It's ok, Tyke, that nasty Tiger's gone now.”
There was a silence.
Toby looked at Tyke, and Tyke looked at Toby.
“Yeah,” said Toby, suddenly. “I missed you too.”
Tyke blinked, then started savaging Toby's flares.

Jess stared at the wall. She had resorted to doing this after going through all of her videos and having read the entire book of 'The Canterbury Tales'.
“Hi,” Ian said walking in with a cup of coffee.
“Hi,” Jess replied not averting her eyes from the wall. “Where's Hannah?”
“Gone.”
“Where to?”
“I don't know, they threw her out of here.”
“So she isn't standing outside the doors, repenting all of her sins and sobbing?”
“No...she went off with Patrick.”
“WHY?!” Jess screamed, thumping her clenched fists on the bed in anger.
“I overheard the mention of Casino.”
“NOOOOOOO! I HATE HER!”
“Oh.”

The only person who seemed to be benefiting from being on the island was Zane Lowe. The Kiwi had been presenting all of his MTV shows live from the island and was rapidly becoming the most famous interviewer on the planet, particularly since he had all the latest gossip from the most famous people in the world. But was he happy? Had his fame and fortune brought him contentment? Yes.
“Ok, so plonk Nicole Kidman and John Travolta down over there and I'll deal with them...when I have time.” Zane walked over to the waiter holding out a tray of champagne flutes. All for Zane, of course.
“Um, Zane?” A PR assistant walked over.
“Mr Lowe, to you!” Zane shouted at her. “In fact...make that SIR Lowe!”
“Erm...yes...Sir Lowe...there's someone here to see you.”
“Tell them to go f*ck a lamppost. I'm busy.” He downed a third glass of champagne.
Suddenly Toby burst into the room. “Zane!”
“He doesn't want to see you, Sir--” the PR woman said.
“Zane,” Toby ignored her and continued, “What's happened to the island? There are bodies everywhere...I came here from Oxford to GET AWAY from all that!”
“Oh,” said Zane. “Yeah, well lots of people died in the storm.”
“But Zane!” cried Toby, running after him. “Why are people still dying when there's no storm!?”
Zane turned and looked at him. “You saw nothing.” He tucked a 50 strand note in Toby's shirt pocket and patted his face.
“But I did!” Toby exclaimed, standing in a confused daze.
“I think he's trying to bribe you,” the PR assistant said as she walked past.
Toby's mouth opened. “Bu...but, bribe me against what?” He thought long and hard for a moment; looking after llamas hadn't exactly been the most educational, brain-stimulating job possible, and he hadn't used his brain for a good few years now. “Oh my God! Zane's killing people and dumping their bodies in the sea!!” He ran off to find Jess.

KERCHING! KERCHING!
The machines in the casino were chinking away madly.
“OH...KELLY...YES! YES! YES!!” Hannah screamed. Kelly at last had a satisfied smile on his cheeky little Welsh face. Hannah pulled the lever on the machine again and more strands came tumbling out. “YES! YES!” screamed an ecstatic Hannah.
Kelly was enjoying the sight of the money and grinned like the turtle that got the leg (or the cat that got the cream, anyway).
“Did you win again?” asked Patrick.
“Uh-huh!” said Hannah.
The thrill of the money began to wear off for Kelly. He stood up. “Is there a broom cupboard around here?” he asked, glancing around.
“Over there,” Patrick pointed.
“Fabulous...” Kelly grabbed Hannah. “Hannah...could I talk to you for a moment...”

“Jess, Jess! Jess!” Toby was running through the ward in the hospital, poking his head in on unexpecting celebrities in the hope of finding Jess. “There you are! We are in such trouble. Zane is EVIL!!” Toby stopped for breath and watched Jess. “What are you doing?”
“Yoga.”
“Oh.” Toby turned his head upside down to gather eye contact with her. “I thought you'd been involved in a nasty car accident.”
“No.”
“Oh.” Toby fell over due to all the blood going to his head. “So aren't you bothered about Zane and all the dying people?”
“No.” Jess removed her legs from her neck and looked at Toby. “Why, should I be?”
“Uhh...yes.”
“Well I'm not, as far as I'm concerned - everybody on this island can go to hell, including Hannah. As soon as I get out of here I'm going to the 60's with Ian, and nothing is going to stop me.”
“So that's a no then.”

<< back to Book 2.4

� Jess and Hannah 2002