Jess sat in 'The Jess-ter' with a glum look on her face.
Hannah sat on the other side of her table looking shell-shocked. “My wrist hurts,” Hannah moaned.
“Look at my face - do I care? I think not.”
Hannah sighed.
Ian tried to make some conversation: “Do you like cats?”
Fortunately, to save him from Jess grumbling at him, Zane approached the table. “Hi there,” he started.
“Go away.”
“Hi Hannah,” Zane tried.
“Hi! How are you? Boy! I've got a lot to tell you!!” Hannah burst into conversation.
“You know, your music store and concert hall and recording studios are ready.”
“Really?!” Hannah looked up all excited. “That's fantastic! Let's go!!” Hannah stood up to run out but she fell to the floor in a heap. “Oh yeah, I'm not allowed to go anywhere.”
“Why? Oh...” Zane saw the handcuffs chaining her to the table.
“I'm up for a night of comedy.” Hannah said picking herself up to sit back on her chair. “We want Dylan,” she chanted, banging her fists on the table.
“There is no Dylan. He went back to the hotel. The evening was ruined by your bloody pilot boyfriend.”
“He's not my boyfriend.”
“Oh, sorry - boyFIEND.”
“He's not...that either.”
“Well, your ex-boyfriend, then.” Jess sighed. “I can forget the crashing through the ceiling. I can overlook the trying to kill me - I can deal with that.” She sighed again. “But ruining my opening night??” She shook her head. “Unforgivable.”
Hannah pulled at the handcuffs and tried to pick the lock with a toothpick. “Can I go see my music store and stuff?” Hannah asked Jess. “Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease?!”
Jess looked at Zane. “Promise me you'll keep her on a tight reign?”
“Um...ok.”
“Right.” Jess unlocked Hannah's handcuffs. “Just get out of here. And no gambling or taking your clothes off.”
Hannah grabbed Zane's arm and skipped off out of the front doors.
Jess slumped forward onto the table. The vibration sent a glass up the other end flying into the auditorium, where it landed on Terror the tiger, who mauled a lighting technician in retaliation.
“You're really annoyed, aren't you?” Ian observed.
“Correct! Two points,” Jess said, sarcastically.
“What can I do to stop you being annoyed?”
“Turn back time.”
“I can't do that.”
“Well, b*gger off then.”
Ian shrugged and walked out.
Jess looked up at the ceiling, filled her lungs and screamed, "SH*T!”

Hannah literally galloped across the short space between 'The Jess-ter' and her promised music area. On the way she passed Toby who was out walking one of her llamas, even though it was getting on for 10 in the evening.
“I promise I'll come and visit them tomorrow!” she called as she ran past him. Toby sighed and walked on with 'Lemon' the llama, back towards the llama pen, to put him back with the other 19.
Sure enough, just as Hannah had expected, the music area was fantastic. There was a small modern 'Little Llama' recording studio next door to the huge open topped concert arena. According to Zane it had an electric roof and much to Hannah's delight was wholly powered by solar panels.
Last but not least there was a huge record store which had a bar and a lounge and a small stage for some small acoustic renditions. The shop, much to Hannah's pleasure, was called 'Little Llama' - just as Hannah wanted.
“I'm going to be a Virgin!” she squeaked.
“What?!” Zane choked.
“My 'Little Llama' company...it's fantastic...and it's gonna be bigger than Virgin - I'm going to be the next Virgin!”
“Oh,” said Zane, hurriedly changing the subject whilst trying to think avidly about his wife. “So are you going to open it all up or what?”
“Hell yes! Tomorrow morning, first thing.” She turned and ran to the nearest monorail pick-up point. The quicker she could get to sleep, the sooner it would be tomorrow morning.

Sure enough, at five 'o' clock, Hannah rose with the sun and caught the first monorail of the morning (this one was turquoise, as Jess had one day ordered the architect to colour-code all of them).
Hannah got to the music store and switched all of the electricity on which was solar powered. She then put on a randomly picked Silverchair album - 'Frogstomp' and stacked all five thousand shelves herself with all the CDs, cassettes, mini-discs, videos and DVDs in the store cupboard.
She managed to do it all between 5:10 and 7:00 am. Happy and content, she switched on the large TV screens, put on Daft Punk over the store and opened the doors.

Hannah had been daydreaming her way through the Daft Punk album, when she heard the cash till ringing. She opened her eyes to see Jess over by the tills.
“What are you buying?” Hannah called over.
“'Monty Python and the Holy Grail' DVD.”
“You've already got it!”
“I know,” Jess sniffed. “I miss my Dad.”
“Oh...right.” Hannah sighed. “Heard anything from Jimmy?”
“No. He's been quite quiet.”
“Is that a good thing or a bad thing?”
“I don't know. He's probably just plotting to kill me again, or something...” Jess said, casually.
“And...this doesn't bother you?”
“Nah.” The song on the loud speakers ended and a new one began. “Ooh! 'Digital Love' - I love this one!” said Jess.
Hannah shook her head. Mad. Quite, quite mad.

Hannah called five people to do her job of running 'Little Llama' as she went out at lunchtime for a small visit to the Llama Pen.
She found Toby combing a tall brown haired llama.
“Hi there.” Hannah waved at Toby as he looked up.
“Hi.”
“You're becoming a bit secluded...watch out or you'll turn into Jimmy...”
“What?” Toby looked up confused.
“Oh, doesn't matter,” Hannah dismissed, and then on seeing the pitiful look on Toby's face said, “Jimmy's withdrawn into the mountains and tried to kill Jess but we put him in rehab so he's dealt with now.”
Toby nodded, kicking the bucket of water at his feet along to the next llama.
“Do you want to go to the theme park?”
Toby's eyes brightened up and he dropped his llama-brush and ran off with Hannah, much to the expectant llama's dismay.

<< back to Book 2.3

� Jess and Hannah 2002