
Two hours later it was nine
in the evening, and the sun was beginning to go down towards the
sea for the second night that it had been inhabited by famous
people.
Jimmy and Ian walked into the Star Bar to find Tyke and Jess
perching on the barstools. Toby was sat on the floor clutching
the end of Tyke's lead, even through Tyke hadn't worn the collar
on the end of it for the past three days.
As Jimmy and Ian walked
up to the bar, Jess turned around and looked Ian up and down in
horror. What have you done to him?! she cried.
Sorted him out
get a grip, Jess, he couldn't have
gone on wearing a Nazi uniform for the rest of his life,
Jimmy replied.
Ian stood looking uncomfortable with his hair
greased into a mohawk, a dog collar, a pair of extra baggy
trousers and a black tank top on.
Jess'
eyebrows dropped through the floor (she was scowling). Jimmy, she started, calmly. Don't take this
personally, or anything, but, she took a step towards him.
I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! She pounced on top of
him and started hitting him savagely.
Um
Jess
? Ian started, looking lost.
Go and get changed! Jess shouted at him in mid-punch.
I want shirt and cords and neat hair in 10 minutes,
mister! she screamed.
Stunned, Ian didn't move.
NOW!!!
she shrieked.
Ian ran away.
Jess and Jimmy continued wrestling on
the sand. Jess found that gripping Jimmy's head by the hair and
smacking it into a nearby palm tree was rather effective.
What the hell are you two doing?! Hannah asked,
walking out of the Casino Hut after hearing the commotion.
I'm killing Jimmy, that's what I'm doing! Jess
replied, throwing coconuts at Jimmy's skull.
NO! Don't hurt my
baby! Hannah ran towards Jimmy and grabbed the coconuts
Jess had thrown. These are precious!
Huh! scoffed Jimmy. Thought you were talking
about me for a minute, but I should have known better with you,
Hannah.
Sorry? Hannah asked, confused, looking up from the
coconuts in her arms.
You're such a b*tch! Jimmy said, getting up.
And you! You
you
Jimmy struggled
for the words. You husband beater, you! Jimmy stomped
off.
Not yet, corrected Jess, thinking of Ian. But
soon
soon
soon! She cackled evilly and
then headed for bed.
The next morning dawned
beautifully
as usual. Jess was in a far from happy mood,
however. He's so annoying! How dare he do that to Ian!
For all he knows, he could have wrecked his hair for good with
that ruthless wax!
Oh, please, Hannah said, throwing on a pair of jeans
and an Australian rugby shirt. Give him a break
anyway, you know where I'll be the casino so see
you later.
She walked out whilst Jess called, I should have bludgeoned him to death with a coconut whilst
I had the chance!
Hannah walked into the Casino Hut where
Patrick was already waiting for her. Morning, she greeted him, sitting down on the nearest
stool.
Good morning, he replied, sitting next to her.
Breakfast? He handed her 300 strands worth of chips.
Great; thanks, Hannah took the chips and started
feeding them mindlessly into the machine.
Jess appeared in the
doorway. What are you doing?
Breakfast, Hannah and Patrick replied in unison.
Jess
was p*ssed off. I don't suppose you want to come over to the library with
me, do you? Jess asked Patrick.
Hmm, let me think, he said, starting intently at the
slot machine. No.
Jess was taken-aback. Oh. She took a step back. OK.
Jess stumbled into the Star Bar, p*ssed off
and unhappy. She hadn't been into the bar before, being a
non-drinker, but it seemed nice. She walked up to the bar.
The
barman smiled at her. What can I get you?
Orange juice, please. Jess sat on the bar-stool and
looked around. She was surrounded by Hollywood celebrities. She
stared into her orange juice. 'Hang on,' she thought. 'That ice
cube looks a bit like
Jimmy
'
Her trail of thought was interrupted as an Irish voice said, You look really p*ssed off.
Jess turned around. It
was Dylan Moran, the Irish comedian. Jess was more than slightly
surprised. Oh
well
I am quite
p*ssed
off.
Why?
Lots of things.
Tell me about them.
Jess considered this. Nah, I don't want to ramble on about my sad personal
problems.
Ah, go on. Then I can bore you with mine
afterwards.
Jess needed no further persuasion. Right, OK, firstly
Hannah looked down into her pot of chips.
She had none left. I'm all out
again. She sighed.
Want me to fill yours up? Patrick handed her his cup
of strands, which was only a quarter full. Hannah leant down
under the machine and pulled a collection of keys from her
pocket. She found the right key after two minutes and opened up
the machine to fill up several cups, whilst several onlookers
frowned with jealousy.
Hannah got up and sat back in her seat and
jumped with surprise as Brandon Boyd, the lead singer of Incubus
(who was now sat next to her) said Hi!
Oh, hi
can I help you? Have you run out of towels in
your bathroom again? Hannah asked, slotting a strand into
the machine and pulling the lever.
Uh, no
Brandon sighed. Do you want to go
to the beach?
Hannah sighed tough decision. This was
the type of the situation she had trained herself for and she
wasn't going to let it go to waste. Go buy yourself a drink, she said, placing a strand
into Brandon's hand. It may take me a while to
decide
Brandon ambled off to the Star Bar.
� Jess and Hannah 2002