“Well, do you have any better
ideas?” Jess asked as a tumbleweed blew into her face. She,
Tyke, Toby, Hannah and Ian were perched on the roof rack of the
jeep, which had started off again. “When we drive into the
Hollywood stars, you'll be thanking me.”
“Don't count on it,” said Hannah.
The jeep started up and
Toby almost fell off. They felt like they were on a bucking
bronco, but no, it was just a jeep, and if they fell off...it
would hurt...a lot.
“How long do we have to go on like this?!” Toby
screamed.
“Beats me,” shrugged Hannah.
When the jeep stopped,
there was a limo sitting in front of them. The four people and one
dog fell off the roof and dived behind a bush.
“What now?!” huffed Jess.
“Well, I had an idea that we should wait here 'till
we...” Hannah pointed at the Jess and Hannah which were
getting out of the jeep. “Drive off. Therefore we wouldn't
disrupt our book.”
“Do you guys ever think about time? And how you're
disrupting that?!” exclaimed Toby.
“Shut up, Toby,” Hannah whinged.
“Believe me, we screwed up time the first time around. Going
back won't make that much of a difference,” Jess
said.
They all crouched behind the bush and watched in silence.
Suddenly, they saw the past Hannah grab a pole from past Charlie
and run towards past Natalie Imbruglia.
“No!” Jess exclaimed. “We have to stop her!”
Ian picked up a nearby rock and threw it from the bush towards
'past' Hannah. It smacked her square in the forehead and she
dropped the pole.
“You b*st*rd!” Hannah hissed to Ian. “That's ME!”
“Sorry,” he said, apologetically. “At least I
stopped that Natalie woman dying.”
Suddenly Tyke leapt from
the bush and savagely grabbed Natalie's throat. After a brief
struggle she fell to the ground.
“Oh...God.” Jess looked away.
Hannah laughed quietly.
“I suppose it was just meant to be.” Ian observed.
“How are we going
to save her?!” Jess made a jump to leap out of the bush but
Hannah held her back. “Oh for God's sake Hans! Stop being so
sadistic!!”
“No Jess! Stay back! You don't want to have the past us see
the real us.”
Jess, unconvinced, stayed back behind the leaves whilst the
other Jess and Hannah made off in the limo leaving the large
bunch of Hollywood stars and one mentally unstable airline
steward behind.
“I can't believe I took Josh with me! We've gotta save
him!” Hannah made a grab for the remote control but Jess
guarded it carefully.
“You've got another job to do young lady.” She pointed
out to the dusty road where there was a gathering of people
around the motionless body of the Australian singer.
Hannah, shortly followed by Ian, Jess, Toby and tiny Tyke on his
lead, trudged out into the road.
Steven Spielberg turned around and looked at Jess and Hannah
shocked. “You've come back you cheeky sods! After killing my
new actress and stealing my best actor! How dare you
return?!” Steven paused and then said more quietly,
“And who the hell are these?” He pointed at Toby, Ian
and Tyke.
“Erm...” Jess was lost for words. Things must be
serious.
“Oh, look, there's Madonna!” Hannah shouted, pointing
randomly in the other direction. Steven and the actors all turned
to look. While they were distracted, Hannah dragged the body of
Natalie behind the bush with superhuman strength. The others ran
after her. When Steven and company turned back, they were nowhere
to be seen.
“Where did they go?” Steven asked.
“Where's Natty?” asked Kate Winslet.
“Let's hyjack their jeep and try and find them,”
suggested Heath Ledger.
“They won't get far in that heap of crap,” hissed
Hannah.
“She's still breathing,” Jess said, looking down at
Natalie.
“We'll soon sort that,” Hannah said, bending over to
smother her.
“Stop it!”
The bush was shaking as
the four time-travellers tried to either kill or save Natalie
Imbruglia or pick their nose.
Heath Ledger had spotted this and was quietly approaching
it...(it could have been mating dingoes so he didn't want to
annoy them).
Hannah looked up and saw him coming.
“Oh God, quick our cover's blown!” whispered Jess
frantically. Distract him Hannah whilst I save Natalie since none
of these guys are going to do it.” Ian was inspecting the
remote control, Toby was throwing pebbles at a ghecko and Tyke
was p*ssing on a nearby gum tree.
“Pssst! Heath!” Hannah poked her hair up from behind
the bush making Heath jump with surprise.
“Don't go say anything...we're trying to save her - Natty -
and stop Steven from making money from out films. Do you want to
help us get the jeep and get to a hospital? Please?!”Hannah
batted her eyelids and gave Heath a pleading look.
“You're so shameless, Hannah. You wouldn't find me fawning
over any random bloke who came by,” Jess said, moodily.
“Not much,” Hannah snorted.
“Who are you...you drove off in the other direction a minute
ago,” Heath said in confusion.
“Come with us and all will be revealed,” Hannah said,
with a touch of mystery which she hoped was alluring.
“But I--”
“Great!” Hannah didn't wait for Heath to answer. She
popped her head out of the bush and screamed, “Look at the
tofu shop!” Steven and all his cronies turned immediately
and Hannah grabbed Heath's hand and ran towards the Jeep. Jess
followed, dragging Natalie's limp body. “Push!” she
commanded as she, Heath and Jess with Natalie got in.
“So how do you
drive?!” Jess laughed rather hysterically.
“Oh get out the way!” Hannah screamed pushing Jess out
of the driver's seat. “I know how to...plenty of
experience.” She pulled off the handbreak and they flew
forward 10 feet.
Jess looked in the wing mirror. “I think we've lost a few guys.” Toby and Ian were
lying in the dust.
“GET IN!” Hannah screamed at them. They obediently
hopped in and Hannah scrunched into gear and pulled the choke,
pushed the clutch and accelerator to the floor and turned the
ignition. The jeep spluttered into action and it shot forward
narrowly averting a tree.
“So...where are we going?” asked
Jess, peering out of the window.
“We've already b*ggered things up by letting
Steven-The-Arse-Spielberg see us,” Hannah thought out loud.
“And now what?” asked Toby.
“We have to go to Newcastle and get Josh before we run him
over,” Hannah said.
“You ran over Josh?!” Heath exclaimed.
“Look, we didn't mean to,” Jess defended their
actions. “And we're trying to put it right.”
“But we went to Brisbane first,” Hannah observed.
“We should jump forward a few days so that our otherselves
are in Newcastle.” She pressed a button on the remote and
there was a flash.
“Um, am I the only one
here who's thinking about Natalie? She's dying!” Heath said
from the boot of the Jeep. Sure enough there were worrying gasps
coming from Natalie.
“Weren't we going to the hospital?”
“Here we are!” Hannah said. “This is the nearest
hospital to Daniel's house...so whilst you guys take Natalie in to
get fixed, I'll go to his place,” Hannah smiled.
“You're got it all planned out, haven't you?!” exploded
Jess. “You're happy to b*gger up time itself, just
because of your TEENAGE LUST!”
There
was a long silence.
“And?” asked Hannah, shrugging.
Jess shook her head and
sighed. “You can't let Daniel see you. If he sees two of Hannah,
time is officially defunct.”
“Is that your
little excuse then?” Hannah asked, “'Cause it's pathetic!”
Suddenly there was a little tap on the window at Hannah's door,
there stood Rolf Harris waving.
Hannah put her foot on the accelerator. “Let's roll!”
� Jess and Hannah 2002