The travellers had been... well...
travelling for about an hour and a half. It was hot, dusty, and
there didn't seem to be any sort of civilisation for miles.
"Did anyone think to bring water?" asked Ben, looking
around hopefully.
"No," croaked Daniel, who had been thinking the same
thing.
"I read once that you can get water out of a cactus."
Jess said, eyeing the many cacti they passed.
Before anyone could
reply they heard a gravely squawk. They all looked up to see two
vultures hovering over them. Without a second thought they all
leapt off the cart and huddled around the nearest cactus.
"How do we get the water out?" asked Chris, poking the
cactus. He immediately pricked his finger. "Ah!"
"You have to make a hole, stupid."
Back in the cart, they were
heading on intuition towards an airport.
"That water tasted... cactus-y," commented Jess.
"Hmm..." sighed Patrick, wiping sweat from his brow.
Ben was drumming a beat on the side of the cart.
"You know, if we don't get back to Australia soon... we'll
miss the Big Day Out," Daniel sighed.
"We won't be able to play."
"Do you remember Mik and Bruce?" Jess said to Hannah.
Hannah grinned. "Pity," she sighed.
"Look!" said Chris pointing towards the horizon.
"It's a skyscraper!"
It had been a skyscraper,
and they had finally found the airport after circling round the
roundabout five times and holding up traffic all the way round
the city due to being on a horse and cart. The airport thankfully
was air-conditioned. They all stood in front of the flight
timetable.
"Do you have to go straight back to Australia?" Hannah
moaned to Daniel, Ben and Chris.
"Yeah," said Daniel flatly. "We
left Newcastle without telling anyone and we're probably screwing
up people's schedules."
Hannah looked decidedly downcast. "That's crap."
Cartman, who had been asleep for the
entire journey, snorted in his sleep and woke up. "Eh... seriously, my head..." he moaned.
"Hangover?" Jess asked, stifling a laugh.
"P*ss off, you goddamn hippy... I... I didn't do anything...
dumb whilst I was p*ssed, did I?"
"Well, put it this way," Daniel laughed. "There's
a poor, lonely bloodhound in the wild west somewhere who has to
bring up puppies on her own."
"Oh, sweet Jesus."
Over a tannoy in the distance, the plane that
Silverchair were taking was called ready for boarding.
"We'd better go... they're calling first class," said
Chris quietly.
"Sorry you didn't get to see England," said Hannah.
"It's OK, we'll tour later next year," Daniel said.
"Well... if you ever need anywhere to say... here's my
number." Hannah pulled out a crumpled, soggy bit of paper
with a number scratched on it from her pocket. "I wrote that
when we left England... you're lucky. I almost gave it to Josh
Hartnett."
Silverchair disappeared off through their
boarding gate and Jess gently tugged at her sleeve.
"Let's go," she said.
Ben and Chris had won
enough money in the saloon for Patrick, Cartman, Hannah and Jess
to travel by first class. The tannoy
sounded again, this time calling for check-in for Cartman's
flight to Colorado.
"Well, you guys, I guess this is... goodbye," he said,
tearfully.
"Oh, no, not yet; there's still four pages of the book
left," said Hannah, shaking her head.
"Well... I guess I could wait a bit longer," Cartman
said.
They all stood in silence for a while.
"Maybe Daniel will run back out of the boarding gate and ask
me to marry him," sighed Hannah. "Or Ben, maybe."
She looked wistfully over at the boarding gate. No Ben. No
Daniel. No Chris, even.
Jess, meanwhile, was wondering if she had
left the iron on. There may not be a house when she got back.
Sh*te.
The tannoy
called again for the boarding of Cartman's flight.
"They
can't just leave! They should damn well come back!!" said
Hannah, put out.
They stood for another five minutes, completely
spaced out.
The tannoy came on once more. "Will Mr Eric Cartman please board the flight to Colorado...
NOW!" The tannoy beeped innocently as it switched off and
went back to the tinny lift style music.
"See you then!" cried Cartman.
The three people left over
waved and walked off and Cartman was left standing there
blubbering.
Jess quickly came back and hugged him, slipping him a
piece of paper in the process. "Don't read it 'till you get on the plane!" She ran off
after Patrick and Hannah, leaving Cartman to board his plane.
As soon as Cartman settled himself on the plane he opened up the folded piece of paper. On it was a web address: 'http://www.fire-ass-bitches.com'. Under it was written: 'Since you're so into dogs, here's a website I thought you might appreciated!' Cartman went purple with embarrassment. Then he saw a p.s.: 'PS - give my love to Kenny, Kyle + Stan." Cartman screwed the paper up, swore, then ate some peanuts.
Hannah, Patrick and Jess were having a
coffee whilst waiting for their respective flights.
"Hope Cartman got off OK," Hannah said, gazing out of
the window.
"Oh... I think he did," laughed Jess.
"Right," said
Hannah slowly.
The tannoy came on once more. "Boarding for flight BA014 has started, would all first
class passengers please board."
Patrick, Jess and Hannah got
up.
"So are you actually
gonna take him home to meet your parents?!" Hannah giggled
at the thought of Jess turning up at home after three months of
absence with Patrick Marber on her arm. They were three hours
into the flight and the rubbish films were providing scant
amusement.
"Might scare them," laughed Jess.
"Shall we look in the cockpit?"
They sat back in their
seats shocked.
"Can't believe Jimmy's flying!" Hannah said. Patrick
drew a long snore and startled himself awake.
"So what you gonna do, Pat?" Hannah asked.
"Try and resume normal life," he said. "...If
that's possible."
"You, Jess?"
"Rebuild my house," she said thinking of the iron.
"You?"
"Start saving my dinner money for replacement of my CD
collection."
Everyone sat in silence for a while.
"Oh...and hang these up." She grinned as she pulled out
a pair of underpants from her bag.
And there, in front of them, was the end of their travels.
To read the next book, follow the link at the top of the Book One homepage to Book Two.
<< back to Book 1.4
� Jess and Hannah 2001