By the afternoon of that same day, there wasn't a single cloud in the sky. The sun beat down on the dinghy and it's nine inhabitants.
"I guess no-one thought of bringing any water or food supplies?" Jimmy asked hopefully.
Everyone shook their heads sullenly.
"It's OK, there's lots of water round here!" Jess spread out her arms, indicating the sea. Everyone knew that Jess was slowly going insane, she had been acting strange ever since they'd left shore, but no-one had the strength to correct her.
Cartman by this time was smelling extremely cheesy. All the packets of Cheesy Poofs were crushed and sticky in his pockets. He sat on the other side of the dinghy in solitary confinement. "Aww Jesus..." He sighed.
Daniel picked up his guitar to play a tune. He stummed the first chord of 'Ana's Song' but didn't get to the second for the A string snapped and hit Ben in the face.
Hannah had slowly removed all of her clothing and was now sitting in between Jess and Steve (where Jess had sat her and told her not to move under any circumstances), in the large Silverchair t-shirt, and that only.
"Aww Jesus," sighed Cartman again.
"Well... at least it's warmer now," said Jimmy, trying to be positive. "I'd guess we're going North."
"Oh, great, so we're either heading for South America, New Zealand, India, Africa or Japan," said Jess miserably. "That's fabulous, Jimmy, you're so organised I could set my watch by you!"
"Well, if you had a com-"
"Shut up, Steve!" Jess interrupted.
There was a silence.
"Is that..." Hannah squinted into the distance. "Is that... land?"
The others also looked up and into the distance.
"I think it could be," said Ben, frowning. "Looks like an island."
"There's a big building on it," Chris pointed out.
"Civilisation! We're saved!" Hannah shouted, leaping up. The wind blew her t-shirt up in the air as she stood.
"Aww... Jesus..." Cartman sighed again.
"Will you stop saying that, you cheesy little man," said Hannah, minorly embarrassed at the t-shirt incident.
Sure enough as they got closer they saw that it was indeed an island and it did indeed have a large building on it. The island was double the size of Patrick's and had two more palm trees on it compared to his island. The dinghy floated closer and closer and then it started floating left.
"Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!" said Steve, rather over-dramatically.
They had got so close that the automatic doors had swung open... but they closed as they started floating left.
"Quick, paddle!!" Jimmy shouted, almost falling in the water.
Everyone ran to the side of the dinghy and paddled like fury. Sure enough, the dinghy swung around and reached the shore. The travellers stumbled onto the sand and looked up at the huge, glass plated building.
"Crazy as this may sound," said Daniel. "This looks like a shopping mall."
"What?!" On an island?!" Jess asked scornfully.
"Well, what's that, then?" asked Daniel, pointing to a trolley bank.
"Oh." Jess looked at her feet. "Well it's a bl**dy stupid place to put a shopping mall."
Hannah walked up to the building. The automatic doors slid open."Looks totally empty," she concluded. "Lets go raid the place. Smash and grab."
They hurried in quickly and all sighed - there was air conditioning. The mall was enormous with many shops spreading over three floors. There was an escalator and a lift and there was even the suitable shopping music hanging floatily in the air.
"Wow," said Ben awe-struck.
"Do you think they sell guitar strings?" Daniel said gazing around.
"Yes, we do," a voice boomed overhead on a loudspeaker on top of the tinny shopping music.
Jess fainted.
"What the...?" said Hannah, she looked up and said, "Who are you?"
"I," the voice replied, "am the owner of the largest, most successful uncharted island shopping stores mall."
"Wow," said Hannah, impressed.
"Why's Jess fainted?" asked Steve, kicking her.
"Who cares. I can see a Maccy D's, let's roll," said Hannah.

"There was something really weird about that voice," contemplated Chris.
"It was just familiar, if you ask me," said Steve.
"You're weird," concluded Ben.
Jess was still left in a heap on the floor.
"Maybe she'd wake up if we threw coke on her," suggested Daniel.
"Doubt it." Hannah stuffed six chicken McNuggets into her mouth at once.
"I can't believe I was EVER attracted to you," Jimmy commented in disgust.
"Well you were the one who asked me out in the first place," said Hannah nonchalently. "Now you mention it, god knows why I said yes... I'm so glad I dumped you."
Jimmy blushed crimson.
"I'm topping up on coke," he said running away from the table, out of McDonald's and across the mall into the toilets.
"Don't think he'll find any in there," Ben said turning back to his half pounder burger.
"So you two went out?" asked Chris curiously.
"Yeah...for four hours...or was it six?" Hannah paused. "Aww, who cares."
Jess made a groaning noise and sat up on the squeaky clean tiled floor.
"Oh, hi!" said Steve, turning around.
"Where is he!?" said Jess, looking around wildly.
"Who?" asked Chris.
"Oh he..." said Ben. "HE, the God of the Shopping Mall, is nowhere to be seen... we've only heard him."
"Yeah," agreed Daniel. "He might show up sometime next week if the escalator is good enough for him."
"Who is he?" Hannah asked Jess, noticing that she looked quite flustered.
"Mi...Mi...M...Ma...Ma..."
"Oh, spit it out," said Steve dissmissively.
Everyone glared at him apart from Jess.
"Mich...ael...Pa...PaPa...Palin," she finally got out.
"God... why is it that all these comedy actors and people that Jess like all own shops on uncharted islands?" Jimmy asked to no-one in particular, coming back and sitting next to Steve on the other side of the table. Steve was becoming rapidly unpopular with his continuous smarmy comments.
"Because comedy acting isn't always fulfilling in the money requirements," Michael Palin said himself, coming up behind the fast-food service counter.
Jess had already fainted again.
"For some," snarled Steve.
"Yes. For some have incredibly handsome good looks and charming attitudes, or so appears to the public, so they are mainstreamed but with nothing to do with their acting skills," Michael Palin returned, making Steve go purple in the face.
"Woah, woah, children..." Hannah soothed, breaking up the slanging match. "I thought you two got on...you were both in the 'Wind In The Willows' weren't you?"
"My favourite," Jess sighed, un-fainting then fainting again.
"That doesn't mean anything," Steve muttered. "Just because you work with someone doesn't mean you like them." He paused. "I mean, look at Morecambe and Wise. Shared a bed on TV, yet in real life they couldn't STAND each other-"
"STOP IT, STOP IT!" Jess squealed, covering her ears and running into the toilets.
"I keep telling people there's no coke in there but they never listen..." sighed Ben.

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� Jess and Hannah 2001