"PING!"
Jess, Patrick and Steve walked out of the lift on the fourth floor. Jess was still holding Steve's hand in a nervous grip. After the trembling episode she had consequently turned rigid and had frozen with shock, so that Steve was now dragging her around. They walked (or, in Jess' case, dragged) silently down the corridor, up to room 143, where Steve had to let go of Jess' hand to get his keys out of his pocket. He yanked his hand but Jess' grip was stuck solid.
Steve looked at Patrick who blushed. "Sorry, Steve... she's had a pretty traumatic trip, must be taking it's toll!"
Steve laughed nervously.
The lift down the hall pinged again and there came a rumble of footsteps. Patrick, Steve and Jess looked around to see Cartman careering down the corridor towards them, red in the face.
"You guys, seriously!" He gave up and rolled the remainder of the way.
"What is it?" asked Patrick, not sounding very pleased to see the foul-mouthed toon.
"You guys, when you left me to my own devises downstairs I got in the lift... I got in the lift you guys... I went to the top... the very top." He stopped for breath.
"And?" Patrick asked impatiently.
"I saw them... Hannah and Jimmy... I saw them, and Josh... he's dead."
"What?" Jess exclaimed, letting go of Steve's hand.
"How on earth did you see them from here?!" asked Patrick.
"With these." Cartman held up a pair of binoculars. "Pretty sweet, huh?"
"And they killed Josh?" Jess asked, looking tearful.
"Oh, dear. Was he a close friend?" asked Steve, putting an arm around her.
"No, he just had all our money," she replied.
"Oh." Steve withdrew his arm.
"Well, he was quite a close friend..." Jess reconsidered, unfortunately Steve didn't register that Jess wanted a hug. "Humph," she muttered.
Patrick, Steve and Cartman started legging it up the corridor to the roof. Jess followed unenthusiastically.

Hannah meanwhile was standing next to Jimmy smiling sweetly and staring at Daniel who was getting his rucksack out of the back seat of his car. She hadn't even noticed that Josh had been run over. He was still lying in the road and rather worringly twitching. Jimmy had consequently forgotten about Josh too as he was busy talking to Daniel.
"So..." Jimmy started as Daniel swung his rucksack over his right shoulder and pushed the door shut. "What are you doing today?"
"Nothing much. Ben and Chris are coming over actually... we're discussing the new album." He tucked some strands of long blond hair behind his ear and smiled.
Hannah seriously couldn't take anymore and fainted with a 'thump!' onto the driveway. Jimmy and Daniel were staring at her when suddenly another expensive looking car came down the road.
Josh had stopped twitching and was slowly getting up when the second car mowed him down and swung into the huge driveway. The engine was switched off and all they could hear was the funky beat of James Brown with 'Get On Up' floating in the air. The driver's door opened and Ben Gillies, the drummer from Silverchair got out.
"Gillies, mate!" Daniel said.
"Yo, Dan!" said Ben, walking forward from his car.

"Ooooh..." Cartman, Patrick, Steve and Jess all winced in unison as they saw Josh being run over a second time.
"That looked..." started Cartman.
"Painful?" offered Jess.
Cartman nodded. "I mean, dude, think of the pressure. I bet his brains are squidging out of his nose!"
"Oh, that's revolting," Patrick concluded, rolling Cartman towards the stairs.
Steve looked at his watch. "I'll have to go to the theatre for sound checks in about an hour." He suddenly had an idea. "How about you all come tonight? I can get you tickets in the Royal Box!" He gazed out the window at Hannah and co, miles away... "So, that's nine tickets..." He looked back at the mangled corpse of Josh... "Oh. Sorry...eight tickets."
"Great!" said Jess, a flash of excitement racing through her body. "Let's go!"
"Err...hang on!" said Patrick. "We've got to get to them." Patrick pointed out at the small house and specks of people.
"Yes, and the show doesn't start for seven hours." Steve concluded.

"What's she doing?" enquired Ben, looking puzzled.
Hannah was still lying, unconscious on the floor.
"Oh my God!" said Jimmy, looking at Josh. "We'd better get him inside and ring an ambulance!"
"She's only fainted..." said Ben. "Was she really a man?"
"Just get him inside!" said Jimmy, unaware that Ben and Daniel now thought Hannah was a transvestite.
"OK," said Ben, picking Hannah up, taking a closer look at her, looking even more confused and carrying her inside.

Jess, Patrick, Steve and Cartman were attempting to find the house which they had just seen Josh killed so they could get everyone for the show. However this was proving more difficult than they had previously expected, as none of them had any idea of how to navigate around Newcastle.
"Try left," Jess suggested.
Steve turned the wheel of his hired car and they turned into a side street.
"OK... how about... right."
Steve turned again.
"Jess, you've been telling Steve to go left and right for an hour," Patrick protested. "Could we try a new method of navigation please? For example one which will actually get us somewhere?"
"OK, OK..." Jess paused and looked around. "Go right."
Steve did so.
"Good, OK... now, try..." She paused to think. "Left."
Patrick put his head in his hands.
"You guys, I feel sick." Cartman moaned.
No-one replied in the car.
"OK, now right," said Jess.
"NO!" exploded Patrick. "Left!"
Steve had started to turn right but then swerved left. The car skidded to a hault.
"Which one?!" asked Steve, exasperated.
"LEFT!" screamed Patrick.
"OK," said Steve.
Jess sat back and pouted.
Steve started the car up again and swung it into the road. Jess had been looking at Steve who sneezed and they looked back at the road just in time to see Josh kneeling on the road which his hands in the air and a grimace on his bloody, battered face before they ran over him.

Daniel's house was big with wooden floors, but Hannah didn't care. She was more worried at the fact that Ben kept looking at her crotch. Daniel walked over to her and Jimmy who were sitting on the couch. Daniel's dog, Sweep, was investigating Superturtle who was re-hydrating himself after the long walk from her water bowl.
"I have tea, coffee, water or fruit juice," Daniel said, looking at Jimmy.
"Coffee thanks," said Jimmy.
Daniel looked at Hannah.
"My name is Hannah," she said.
"Oh, OK..." said Daniel sounding a little sarcastic.
"Fruit juice."

"Right."
"Left."
"Right."
"LEFT!"
Steve had given up completely and was now driving in a straight line.
Jess and Patrick were having a full-blown argument in the back of the car whilst Cartman sat up front attempting to get the seat belt around his huge stomach.
"It's RIGHT at the next turn."
"No, it's LEFT!"
Jess and Patrick's shouts drowned the sound of the engine.
"Guys, I think we should all calm down. Before one or both of you gets violent," Steve suggested firmly.
"Like, whatever, you wuss." Jess sneered at Patrick.
"Excuse me?!"
"You wouldn't hit a gal with glasses would ya?"
Patrick reached forward and took off Jess's glasses.
"Oh...sh*te."
"Woah!" said Cartman.
"You can't hit me!" said Jess, peeking at Patrick through her fingers which were covering her face in a last attempt at protection.
"Oh, yes I can!" Patrick said, flailing his arms out and pettily hitting Jess on the top of her head. Jess took her hands away from her eyes and started weakly hitting Patrick back. This continued for five minutes before Steve realised they were fighting.
"STOP IT!" he shouted in a temper. "This simply isn't going to solve a thing!" he added staring at Jess and Patrick who were looking shocked. The car swerved around left and right and then it turned round a corner and screeched to a hault. Everyone in the car had screamed including Patrick who had done so in a high-pitched girly voice. "Isn't this the street?" said Steve thoughtfully, staring at the squashed Josh lying in the middle of the road.

"WHAT?!" screamed Hannah, frustrated with Ben staring at her and Daniel smirking.
"Nothing!" insisted Ben. "I admire you for what you had done. That shows emense strength of character."
Hannah was severely confused. "I really don't get you guys..." She was interrupted by a knock on the door. Daniel rose to answer it. Hannah listened to the voices in the hallway.
"Hello?"
"Hi, is Hannah here? We're friends of hers."
"Oh, yeah, come in."
Hannah looked up as Daniel returned with Steve, Jess, Patrick and Cartman.
"Oh, hello, you lot," said Hannah, pleased of a distraction from Ben's wandering eyes.
"You must be Hannah," Steve said, holding out a hand. "Yeah," said Hannah, shaking his hand. "Jesus, what happened to you two?!" She looked at Jess and Patrick who were convered in red slap marks.
"Long story!" laughed Steve.
"You killed JOSH!" screamed Jess.
"Who?" asked Daniel.
"Josh Hartnett, the Hollywood actor guy... you ran him over." Hannah said.
"Oh my God," said Daniel, a look of terror spreading across his face.
"It's OK, though, he just had all our money, that's all," Jess said.
"So you don't care?" asked Ben, standing up.
"Nah. You ran over him second by the way," Jess said happily.
"Yeah, and I finished him off!" laughed Steve sounding ecstatic.
"Why are you so happy about it?!" Ben asked amazed.
"He was so sh*t at acting!" started Steve. "I mean Pearl Harbor was terrible! Appalling! Ben Affleck was crap too!"
Jess and Hannah looked at each other and started giggling.

<< back to Book 1.3

� Jess and Hannah 2001