Hannah had got out of the jeep and helped Jess with the dinghy and Jimmy was still boasting.
"Right, that's it," Hannah said, dropping the dinghy, which was behaving badly.
"Hans?" said Jess, watching Hannah walk towards Jimmy.
Patrick came out of the bushes and followed Jess' stare.
"I think she's had enough," murmured Jess.
"Uh-oh," said Patrick.
Mik and Bruce saw Hannah approaching with a grimace on her face and they backed off.
Jimmy continued boasting about how he flew planes and had saved them with the dinghy…
"Shut the hell up!" Hannah screeched. "You're such a boring old FART!"
Jimmy suddenly fell silent.
Jess put her head in her hands and gave up all hope of convincing Patrick they had class.
"What?" Jimmy asked, looking surprised.
"What happened to my co-pilot who saved me from the plane?" Hannah asked, miserably. "The same co-pilot who upgraded my seats to first class?"
"I'm still the same person—"
"No, you're not! When did you last do something romantic for me… like save me from near certain death?"
"Well… we have been stuck in the middle of the bush for a few days—" Jimmy began.
"Oh, excuses!" Hannah shouted bitterly. "It's over, Jimmy; I've had enough!" She walked into the bush, slamming an imaginary door as she left.
"Hans!" said Jess, breaking into a sprint.
"Don't get lost!" Warned Patrick.
Jess fell over a log five metres later.
Patrick ran over to help her.
Hannah stormed back out of the bush, re-opened her imaginary door and walked back over to Jimmy. "And, just to let you know: I'm ignoring you," she finished, satisfied, and pushed past him to go and sit in the jeep (in the front seat).
"Where am I meant to sit, bush baby?" asked Mik, staring at the once-his seat.
"In my seat. I don't want to be within one metre of that annoying tw*t," snapped Hannah, without flinching.
"Hannah! Watch your mouth!" Jess shouted from the back seat.
"Why? Am I dribbling again?" Hannah said, nonchalently.

They had been driving for about half an hour when Bruce suddenly hit the brake. Everyone went flying and landed in a crumpled heap.
"What is it?!" Jess asked, picking herself up. Bruce stared open-mouthed out of the windscreen. Jess, Patrick, Mik and Cartman leant forward to see.
"Sweet Jesus!" Cartman gasped. In front of them were three scantily clad (and annoyingly attractive) women, two tough looking men in black suits and shades and a further two men, dressed in shirt cuffs, underpants, and nothing else.
"What the hell?" asked Jess, completely unimpressed by the greased up men in the road.
Hannah had already got out of the car and was approaching the nearest.
Bruce, Mik, Cartman, Jimmy and Patrick followed nervously. The three women made a beeline for Mik, Bruce and Patrick.
Jess found herself being herded towards Hannah by one of the grease guys.
"Hello, sugar," he cooed. "What's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?" Jess backed up to Hannah, who was enjoying herself.
"Hey, boys," one of the three girls said to Mik, Bruce and Patrick. "You couldn't help us three helpless gals, could ya?"
During all this, no-one noticed the two men in black carefully cutting Jimmy off from the rest of the group…
Jess stood with her hands on her hips. This just wouldn't do. She would only be impressed if it was Steve Coogan jumping out of an enormous novelty birthday cake. This, frankly, wasn't a spot on that. She looked over at Hannah, who was enjoying herself talking to the hunky men.
Hannah was actually only interested in them for one thing… "So, you've heard of Daniel Johns?!" She jumped up and down with excitement as the man nodded and smiled.
Meanwhile, Patrick seemed to be the only person who realised something strange was going on. He looked over his shoulder and saw Jimmy being bundled into a car, carefully camouflaged into the bush. He was about to shout out, but he only got as far as: "Hey…!" before a dart flew into the side of his neck and he collapsed in a deep slumber.
Jess ran over so fast she practically teleported. She knelt next to him. "Oh, my God! Are you OK?"
Patrick was unfortunately completely zonked and therefore made no reply.
Jess looked up and saw Hannah chatting to one of the men, who had his back to her. He was wearing a leather thong. She shuddered. Ugh… "Hannah!" she screamed. "For Christ's sake! Stop gossiping and get over here!"
Hannah reluctantly walked over, past the jeep, which was shaking violently – Mik, Bruce and two of the girls had disappeared inside. The third girl kept trying to pull Patrick's shoes off and was being hit by rocks thrown by Jess. Hannah stubbornly snatched one of Jess' rocks and violently hit the girl at Patrick's feet over the head with it.
"Oh my God!" Jess screamed.
Hannah turned around to the two men she had left standing. "You lot disappear now, and take your friends with you, or I'll use my rock and killer turtle!" The guys looked like they were about to burst out laughing. "I'm not afraid to use them!" she cried.
The two men backed away slowly.
As Hannah watched them go she spotted the two suited men still struggling with Jimmy by the car at the side of the road. "Jimmy!" she screamed, starting to run towards him… but she was stunned into stopping when her turtle came flying over her head… and decapitated the two men holding Jimmy. Amazed, Hannah turned to see Cartman standing on top of the (still shaking) jeep.
"Dude! Did you see that? I threw the turtle and the evil guy's heads fell off! Sweet!"

<< back to Book 1.2

� Jess and Hannah 2001