Jimmy pushed the dinghy off the sand and it floated gently into the water.
Jess was already sitting in it, with Cartman on her lap, looking very annoyed.
"What's your problem?" Jimmy hissed at her, "Look cheerful!"
"I don't want to leave, that's my problem."
"What?"
"I liked living here." Jimmy rolled his eyes and reached out an arm to help Hannah hop into the boat without getting her feet wet.
"Everyone on board?" asked Jimmy, about to push off.
Patrick, still standing on the bank, cleared his throat loudly.
"Oh," Jimmy said, glancing back. "Sorry."

One hour later the atmosphere on the dinghy was friendly. Hannah was sitting and watching for land. Jimmy had given her this job because it was the only one where you didn't have to do much. Patrick, much to Jimmy's disapproval, gave himself the job of map reading. This put him in main control of the dinghy and in commanding position.
"I'm bored," muttered Hannah.
Jimmy looked up from his paddle work. "I call a break," Jimmy said.
"You only just had one," said Patrick.
"So? I'm the one paddling and I've actually got a sore arm, so you can shove your paddle for the next five minutes because I need a break."
Patrick went red with anger and was about to pick up the paddle and whack Jimmy round the head with it but Jess calmed the situation with a question.
"Jimmy, Patrick... what's in that bag?" She pointed at the Post Office bag sitting on the other side of the dinghy.
"Oh." Jimmy had forgotten completely about it. "This is for you."
Hannah looked up and took the bag from his hands. On opening it her eyes went wide and she was very excited. She pulled out one of the Silverchair t-shirts and put it on with a big smile.
"Christ, Hannah, you could have at least turned around...?" Jess muttered, rolling her eyes.
Jimmy fell overboard.
"Man overboard, sweet!" Cartman laughed.
"Hang on," Patrick called, leaping overboard in a rescue attempt.
"I don't know, one flash of Hannah's boobs and men start dying." Jess sighed. "I'd never get a reaction like that."
A very wet Jimmy appeared over the edge of the dinghy as Patrick pushed him out of the water. Jimmy rolled into the boat, splashing Hannah's Silverchair t-shirt.
"Careful!" she moaned, slapping Jimmy to make him move.
Jimmy fell onto the dinghy floor and lay there, head down panting for a few minutes.
"You got my shirt wet!" Hannah groaned.
Jimmy didn't respond.
"You hear me?!" cried Hannah.
Jimmy didn't respond.
"You got my shirt wet! Apologise!" she screamed.
Jimmy still didn't respond and lay very still.
Hannah looked at Jimmy, "Jimmy?" She crawled over to him and watched him lay there unconscious. "What's wrong with him? He only fell overboard!" Hannah said, looking up at Patrick.
"He was up at four this morning messing around in the water." Patrick said.
Hannah looked embarrassed. "Oh."
"And he bought you those things."
"He did?" she said looking up at Patrick.
Patrick nodded.
Hannah leant forward and gave Jimmy a quick kiss on the cheek. "That's all you're getting." she said.
"Oh, for Christ's sake, Hannah, he's not breathing!" Jess shouted, exasperated, leaping forward, "I don't think a quick peck is going to help!" Jess knelt down and gave Jimmy the kiss of life. She was about to press on his chest for the sixth time when he coughed, sending salty water flying into Jess's face. "Ugh! You minger!" Jess moaned. Shaking her head to rid it of water. Jess, in full action mode, had failed to notice both Patrick and Hannah looking completely horrified at what she had just done.
"Wow, sorry... didn't notice you were sick." Hannah said nonchalantly. Jimmy continued to lay on the floor of the dinghy and stared at the sky.
"Well... you've had your five minute break," said Patrick, staring at Jimmy angrily.
"You also threw up sea water on me and ruined my hair." Jess said to Jimmy.
"You got my t-shirt wet," moaned Hannah.
"Fine!" screamed Jimmy. "I'll just throw myself overboard again, shall I?!"
"No, don't bother. It's too much hassle," said Hannah.

10 minutes later there was a frosty atmosphere on the dinghy. No-one had spoken for five minutes and everyone but Cartman was in a mood with someone else. Patrick was jealous of Jimmy because Jess had 'kissed him'. Jess was angry with Jimmy for having thrown up on her. Hannah was sulking because they weren't in Australia yet. Everyone sat at a distance from each other.
Hannah soon realised that Jimmy was looking upset. "Thanks for getting the stuff for me," she said.
Jimmy didn't answer and continued to look out of the side of the dinghy.
"I said: 'thanks'." Hannah said quietly. She leant over and kissed him on the cheek.
He smiled and turned around. "Do you like them?" he asked.
"Yeah, course I do... they're bits of Silverchair merchandise, silly."
He smiled.
Patrick meanwhile was paddling and Jess had the map. "Are you sure you've got that up the right way?" Panted Patrick, nodding at the map Jess was holding.
"Yeah. But what does it matter anyway?" We only have to travel due south-east!"
Patrick stopped and thought for a moment. "...Oh yeah."

<< back to Book 1.1

� Jess and Hannah 2001