
Jess, Hannah and Cartman
were standing in Singapore Airport, four hours later.
"What now?" asked Hannah, who was still sulking over
being taken from her beloved co-pilot.
"Food?" suggested Jess. The two girls started towards
the nearest cafe.
"Hey, you guys! What about me?" Cartman shouted,
puffing along behind them.
"What about you?" Jess asked.
"Well, can't I come with you?"
"Oh, OK then," said Hannah. "But BEHAVE
yourself."
"Sweet."
They walked over to the
cafe dragging their hand luggage. Hannah had dumped the broken
cocktail shakers in the nearest rubbish bin after de-boarding the
plane.
"Hello." Hannah said to the waiter. "Can I have
one large hot chocolate please."
"Ho-kay." said the waiter.
"Did he just sneeze?" asked Cartman.
The girls drank hot chocolate whilst
Cartman munched down Cheesy Poofs like he hadn't eaten for weeks.
"When's the flight on to Australia?"
"Two more hours." Hannah said, downing the remainder of
her drink. "Mmm, that was good."
"I wonder if it'll be the same plane." Cartman asked.
"Or the same co-pilot!" Hannah said, her eyes lighting
up.
"Oh, geez, you have a one track mind," Jess moaned.
"Yeah, but it's a
good track to be playing."
Hannah and Jess fell into
hysterics.
"What? What? What did I do hippies?" Cartman screamed.
"OH MY GOD!" screamed Hannah.
Jess stopped laughing. "What?"
"My Dad!"
Jess, Hannah and Cartman looked around them.
Suddenly Hannah's mobile started ringing. "God, didn't know
this worked outside England." She picked it up. "Oh,
hi, Dad, yeah, yeah... OK, have a nice flight. Bye!" Hannah
put down the mobile.
"Hans, don't look behind right now... but lover boy's buying
a sandwich." Jess said slowly.
"OH MY GOD!" Hannah screamed, turning around.
"I said, don't look behind you!" Jess moaned
in exasperation.
The co-pilot waved, shyly.
Hannah also waved and
then dived under the table, going extremely pink.
"Oh, dear
God," Jess sighed.
The co-pilot came over. "Hi, Hannah," he said, blushing.
Hannah poked her head
out from under the table. "Hi, co-pilot." she said, dreamily.
"Actually, my
name's Jimmy."
"Oh." Hannah wasn't disillusioned. "Hi
Jimmy."
They smiled at each other again.
"I feel sick." Cartman commented.
"You're not the only one," said Jess. "Come on,
let's go look for cheap Japanese electronics and leave these
weirdoes... Hannah?" Jess said, waving a hand in front of her
to break the Jimmy - Hannah eye contact.
"Hmm?" said Hannah, distantly.
"Remember, don't be swayed by his position of
authority."
"But he's a pilot," Hannah murmured, eyes still on
Jimmy.
"No, he's a co-pilot. And also remember why you are
going to Australia in the first place?!"
Hannah shook her
head and looked confused.
"Two words Hannah - Daniel... Johns." Jess left it at
that and walked off with Cartman.
"Woah, so it's a minidisk player and a
hot chocolate maker in one?" Jess said in amazement, reading
the label on the odd machine.
"Dude, sweet," Cartman grinned, eating a Cheesy Poof.
Jess and Cartman had been looking at electronics for quite a
while, and were getting bored. After another 10 minutes, Hannah
joined them.
"Where's your boyfriend?" asked Jess.
"Gone to fly a plane or summat." said Hannah sulkily.
"I keep telling you men are tw*ts, but you never
listen."
"What about Steve Coogan?"
"Well, apart from him. And Patrick Marber. And a few other
assorted comedians."
Hannah sighed. "Come on, we'll miss our flight."
Sitting down in their three
seats, Jess, Hannah and Cartman were some of the first on the
plane. Hannah yawned and stretched out her arms.
"You going to sleep on this leg of the flight or are you
playing the part of superwoman?!" Jess asked Hannah whilst
eating a Cheesy Poof that Cartman had offered her.
"I can't sleep on planes, can't eat either. I hate the taste
and smell of plane food, makes me feel very sick."
"Aww," said Jess. "Plane food ain't that bad. It's
just less fresh."
"Yeah. Also has a weird taste about it. I wish they had a
McDonalds or a KFC on planes."
"There would only be large queues then!" Jess laughed.
"Excuse me?" an air hostess from British Airways was
standing in the aisle looking at Hannah and Jess.
"Aren't we on a Virgin plane?" Jess whispered to
Hannah.
The air hostess continued. "Does one of you happen to be a Miss Hannah-?"
"Um... yeah, I am." Hannah interrupted timidly.
"I've been asked to come and get you. You and two of your
friends have been upgraded to first class on a different plane at
boarding gate 15 - we're waiting for you."
Hannah, Jess and
Cartman stared at each other. The only movement or sound between
them was that of blinking, and crunching of Cheesy Poofs on
Cartman's part. Jess whooped with joy, Cartman punched his fist
in the air with delight and Hannah sat with a look of confusion
spread across her face.
They walked up to the front of the plane
and took their seats.
"How in the name of pants did we get upgraded?" Jess
asked, plonking herself into the softest looking chair.
"I don't know," said Hannah, hoping against hope that
it was because Jimmy was flying the plane. Or co-flying it,
anyway.
"Anyone fancy looking in the
cockpit?" Hannah asked, after three minutes.
"Nah, you see one cockpit, you've seen 'em all," Jess
said, eating peanuts. "And we know what happened last
time."
"Well I'm going to take a peek anyway," said Hannah.
"Is that Pamela Anderson?" asked Cartman, suddenly.
"Oh, yeah," said Jess, seeing the blonde ahead of them.
"Tell you what, Hans, you go to the cockpit and Cartman and
I will try and find some famous people. There must be some in
first class!"
"OK." Hannah
got up and looked around for air hostesses inconspicuously. On
seeing none, she careered for the cockpit on a mission. One metre
from the door she got stopped by an air steward.
"Excuse me, Miss, I'm afraid that area is crew only!"
he said in a camp voice.
"Fair 'nough," said Hannah, trying to quickly concoct a
plan in her head. "It's just that I think my husband is in
here and I just wanted to let him know that I'm on the
plane."
The air steward who was obviously gay looked
surprised. "Are you sure it's this plane, Miss?" he
enquired, eyes widened.
"Yes."
"OK... just a quick peek then," he said, quietly. He
leaned past Hannah and rapped the door twice with his knuckles
then twisted the door knob, slowly pushing the door open.
Hannah
looked in. Two men were sitting at the controls, they looked
around when the door opened and she got a good look at them both.
Neither of them was Jimmy. Her heart sank. She was about to turn
around and go back to her seat broken-hearted when unexpectedly
another man burst into the cockpit with sandwiches in his hands.
It was Jimmy.
"Hannah, what are you doing here? I was going to go see you,
but then you weren't in your seat."
"I came looking for you!" Hannah erupted, throwing
herself onto Jimmy.
"Jimmy... you're married?" the steward asked, looking
shocked.
"What? I..."
Hannah didn't let Jimmy finish. "Yes, this is my husband," she said, wrapping her arms
around Jimmy's neck.
"Oh." The steward walked out, looking decidedly
tearful.
"Hannah, what's going on?" Jimmy asked, looking
confused.
Hannah looked
a little embarrassed. "Well, he wouldn't let me in unless I was important, so I
pretended I was looking for my husband. You don't mind... do
you?!" She gave him a wink and stared into his eyes.
The two
pilots who had already been sitting in the cockpit before Jimmy
arrived sipped their coffee and ate their sandwiches, watching
them both with interest rather than flying the plane. Suddenly
they heard a howl come from down the plane.
"What's
that?" said Hannah.
"Um, I think that's Charlie." said one of the pilots
sitting down by the controls.
"What's the matter with him?!" said Jimmy.
"I think he fancies you," the pilot said quietly.
"What, he fancies Hannah?" said Jimmy oblivious to the
fact that Charlie was gay.
"No, Jimmy, you," said the pilot slowly.
Before Jimmy could react, the plane suddenly shook
violently.
"Jesus, what was that?" Hannah gasped, collapsing onto
Jimmy and holding on to his shirt.
"Turbulence, right?" Jimmy asked the pilot, nervously.
"I'm afraid not," the pilot said, pulling the steering
stick right back and pressing buttons frantically.
"The left rear fuel tank has blown!" the other pilot
yelled, looking at a monitor.
"Oh my God!" Hannah screamed, as the plane rocked to
its left and she fell against the wall. "I have to find Jess
and Cartman!" She pushed past Jimmy and ran through to the
seating area.
Jess and Cartman were running towards her.
"Dude! What's happening?" Cartman squealed.
"Something has happened to the fuel tank," Hannah
screamed. "Quick, get to the cockpit, Jimmy'll save
us!"
<< back to Book 1.1
� Jess and Hannah 2001