Hannah's CD player blasted the sound of her favourite band, Silverchair, into her ears.
"I want to meet them." she groaned.
"You're obsessed." Jess replied bluntly.
"Yeah, but it's a healthy obsession. I've loved them for ages now…" She trailed off and looked down at the silver Sony Discman laying in her lap. "Let's go to Australia."
"What?!"
"You heard me, let's go to Australia. I can meet Silverchair and you can buy a kangaroo."
"You're insane."
"You said that when I tried to convince you to watch the first programme in a new unknown comedy series called 'The League Of Gentlemen'. Now look where we are." Jess fell silent. Hannah had a point.
"Well, I do have two months of work leave to use to my advantage."
"Yeah! I knew you'd come round to it!!" Hannah said excitedly.
Jess pondered. This wouldn't be that disastrous, would it?! "Hmm, I dunno, Hans, I may need further convincing."
"Steve Coogan is doing a tour of Australia."
Jess didn't hesitate even for a second. "Let's roll."

Jess and Hannah ran down towards the boarding gate at top speed.
"I told you to stop buying duty frees, but oh, no…" Jess shouted above the crowds.
"Look, you can never have too many novelty cocktail shakers."
"How many Mohammed Ali shaped cocktail shakers can you use in one lifetime, Hans?"
Hannah shrugged and ran ahead to the desk, holding out her ticket to the lady behind it.
"Thank you," said the lady, grumpily. "The plane has been waiting for you."
"Great," said Hannah, not detecting the sarcasm in the lady's voice.
"Nice hat," Jess commented to the lady, as they passed through the gate and into the tunnel, leading to the plane.

On boarding the plane everyone stared at them angrily.
"I don't think we're liked." Jess whispered into Hannah's ear, walking behind her.
"Um, excuse me... where's my seat?" Hannah enquired, asking a passing air hostess.
"Sure, straight down the gangway for 3 classes and then through the curtains at the back." She walked off in her red high heels which matched her red skirt and jacket.
"Wow, she's good." said Hannah seriously. "She didn't even look at our tickets."
"Give 'em here," Jess snapped. "It's your fault that we're so late and we currently have around 300 annoyed strangers looking at us."
"It is NOT my fault, you were the one who insisted on going to the toilet!"
"Yeah, but that's necessary! Unlike the 20 minute stop in the mini Virgin Megastore!" Jess screamed.
"But it was MINI!" One of a kind! A rarity!"
Jess would have retorted with something smart and hurtful had the captain not made an overhead announcement: "Would the two ladies who have currently held us up for 45 minutes, please make their way to their seats and shut up. You have one minute before we begin take-off procedures. I advise you to find your seats before you get thrown to the back of the plane by gravity."
"Jesus, who crapped in his cap?" Jess muttered, taking Hannah's arm and beginning the walk down the plane.

"These are the ones," said Hannah, throwing her bag expertly into the overhead compartment.
"Huzzah! Now I can sit down and eat peanuts!"
"I wonder what the in-flight movie will be." pondered Hannah, sliding into her seat.
Jess sat down next to her and they did up their seatbelts.
"Weeeeee!" Hannah laughed as the plane started to move. "Here we go!"
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking," came a voice over the tannoy, "the in-flight movies being shown on the flight are 'The Wind In The Willows', and 'The Wind In The Willows' Widescreen."
"Yes!" Jess whooped, jumping up and down.
"Aw, hell," Hannah muttered, resting her chin moodily in the palm of one hand. She looked out of the elliptical window through the two sections of two inch glass. The plane was stuck in traffic. Hannah watched the plane in front of them take off. The butterflies in her stomach were more air-born than the plane and she shuddered with the thought of 'Wind In The Willows'. She felt like screaming with the thought of the repeat.
The plane was new enough that it had TV screens in the back of each seat. Hannah and Jess's screens were blank at the moment. There was a spare seat next to Jess on the end of the three seats they were sitting at. Four seats were in the middle of the plane, then another gangway, then three more seats.
"Wonder where he went." Hannah commented pointing at the spare seat.
"Or she," Jess reminded her. "Equal opportunities and all that."
"Whatever," Hannah said, yawning.
"'Wind In The Willows' in 10 minutes." Jess said, happily.
"Oh, believe me, I know."
"It's my favourite film, that."
"Yes, I know."
"I know all the songs."
"I KNOW. You were singing them all the way to the airport."
"Steve Coogan's in it."
"Yeah." Hannah had now lost interest.
"I really like him you know; do you think we'll see him when we're in Oz?"
"One never knows," said Hannah, plugging her earphones firmly into her ears and her Diskman.

<< back to Book 1.1

� Jess and Hannah 2001