Twenty-Four (Tim); I feel so dumb... And I don't know what to do...
I watch Heather silently as she types frantically at the computer keyboard. I've no idea what she's typing about, and she doesn't know I'm watching her. Some kind of status quo, I think. Her involved in her writing, oblivious to me standing by the door, watching her. She's got Pixie and Danny on her lap... Should I feel worried about the latter...? Probably not a good idea to call a kitten Danny, to be honest. I think we're just asking for trouble. I can't stop a small smile as said kitten scrabbled up her chest and settles on her shoulder, batting at her hair and generally doing his best to be a pain. Worryingly characteristic of Danny himself; he has this knack of being able to sense when you're really busy with something, and then promptly distract you.
Heather doesn't seem to mind the kitten though, and smiles, turning just slightly to tickle him under the chin. I move into the shadows so she doesn't see me. I'm not like I'm spying... It's just nice to watch her when she's not putting on her masks. As she turns her head I see in the light of the computer that her face is wet with tears. I want to run over and comfort her, kiss away the tears and the pain, but I don't want her to feel like I've been watching her. Whether or not I have been is beside the point!
She laughs softly, genuinely, as Danny makes a mad dash for her hair and ends up catapulting himself off her shoulder and into her lap. I don't like cats, but those two seem to be cheering Heather up, and that's what's important. She turns back and starts typing again, and I feel like I have the right to walk in and speak to her now, because she's not watching. That's kind of a contradiction in terms, but I'm sure I know what I mean... I walk in and put my hand on her shoulder.
"Hey." I say quietly. "What're you up to?" I ask. Heather looks up and blinks at me. I watch her eyes shift focus, from staring at the glaring white computer screen to me. She blinks again, and contrary to her normal behavior, doesn't hide the computer screen from me. Makes a change. Usually she shuts down whatever she was doing, as if she's ashamed of it.
"Hi." she smiles. "I'm writing a story."
"Cool." I nod. "Can I read it?" I watch a furious mental battle raging in Heather's mind as she debates whether or not to let me see it. I know she's really angsty about her work, but I'd really like to see it.
"Sure..." she says eventually, sounding hesitant, as if she's expecting me to laugh, or put her down. She gets up, picking the two kittens up and putting them on the floor where they skitter off to wherever they please. I think Danny's heading for the bedroom again. I guess that's amusing, in a way, although I'm sick to death of almost treading on him when I walk in; he's so small I generally don't see him until the last possible second, then I have to veer off and almost lose balance. I sit down and gently pull her to sit on my lap. Ridiculous sentimentality, I know, but I love to have her close.
Light dwindles, and she looks on, as if she is not a part of it. Blood seeping from the wound in her chest. She chokes, looking shocked, and a little afraid.
......'You can never say it will never happen to you...' She must have said 'It wont happen to me' too many times. Something like that. The girl desperately clings to life, even though the light is fading fast from her eyes.
"Mum... Mum..." she gasps. The woman at her side is looking frantic, although trying to be calm, the group around them gaving moved back to give the fallen teenager room to breathe. Not that that was going to help the bloody gash in her chest. The girl takes another breath, desperately moving her lips to form words, but she only manages another gasp, before the flame of her life is duly extinguished.
The woman at her side is silent for a moment, staring at her daughter as if not quite believing she's dead, then opens her mouth and gives the closest thing to a scream anyone would ever hear her make.
I don't say anything for a while, and just stare at the screen. It's quite a scary little piece to be honest! I don't know quite what to think of it. Well, actually I do, because it's actually very good... But scary! I look at Heather, taking in the fact her eyes are averted, as if she's worried what I think. I guess I find it strange, looking at the blue-eyed, blonde-haired woman, that something like this came from her. She looks too innocent, too 'angellic' if you like. It doesn't seem quite right that she could find somewhere in her mind the insperation for a story so intense. We're too similar. Far too similar. That could possibly be a bad thing... And this story's not even complete, I can see. I want to know where she's going with it.
"Wh-what d'you think of it?" she asks, stuttering slightly, her eyes opening and looking at me, wide and blue and full of nervousness. They're so - wide. I don't know how to describe it, and I don't want to stop staring, because I feel like in a second I could drown in the midnight and electric blue of them. I shake myself mentally; I sound like an idiot, thinking all these things.
"I like it." I say honestly. She looks so surprised it almost hurts my feelings; what was she expecting me to say?
"R-really...?" She asks, eyes now slightly narrower, like she's trying to figure out whether I'm just lying to her to make her happy. I nod, trying not to look exasperated --I don't want to upset her at all-- and smile slightly.
"I hope you're going to write more."
"Why...?" she asks, looking confused. I laugh a little.
"I want to find out what's going to happen next!" I pull her gently against me, kissing the top of my head. "I won't lie to you, ever." I promise, and I feel her shiver slightly. Why, I don't know, but she takes ahold of my t-shirt and holds it tightly, like a kid with a comforter.
Does that mean I am her comforter? That I comfort her? That is a seriously strange thought...!
"Thank you..." she whispers softly, nuzzling her head against my shoulder. That can't be comfortable! I half want to laugh, but know I can't; it really would upset her. Instead I just hold her a little closer, and close my eyes. Sometimes I wish moments like this could just be held in time for when everything breaks down....
Chapter 23 ; Contents ; Chapter 25
