Intrepid Traveler - Part 1

It was a long day.  Long week, really.  And the all-nighters that he pulled in the last three days as well as shifts at the diner and working on Rage were finally catching up with him.  Thankfully, Ethan was practicing late tonight and Justin could actually go to bed early and not have to deal with his boyfriend’s tales of how great he was playing in the park or how horny he was.  He wouldn’t have to pretend that he couldn’t wait to hear all about Ethan’s practice or pretend that when his boyfriend kissed him, he wished he was somebody else.  With somebody else.  For once, Justin could just stop pretending that he was happy, that he didn’t miss Brian every minute of every hour of every day.  That he didn’t wish that Brian were a little bit more like Ethan.  That the ad exec was a little bit more open to love.  That he didn’t lose something so damn important for fucks on the roof and bouquets of flowers. 

The blonde put his portfolio and backpack down on the floor, leaning it against the small, very old desk standing in the corner of the room and made his way to the bathroom with only one intention – brush his teeth quickly and get his ass in bed.  He picked up his toothbrush and spread Mentadent toothpaste over it. 

“Shouldn’t you use more of that shit?”

Justin jumped, startled.  He turned around at the sound of the stranger’s voice, only to see some short and fat guy standing in the corner.

His heart thumping in his chest, the teen backed away against the wall, gripping the toothbrush firmly in his hand like a weapon. He didn’t think it would do much damage if the stranger attacked him, but their tiny bathroom wasn’t equipped with weapons for self-defense.  “Look, we don’t have anything valuable here.”

The other man snickered.  “Well, that’s for damn sure.  This place is a dump.”

“Who the fuck are you? And what do you want?” Justin asked with a shaking voice.

The man smirked, taking a step forward.  Justin winced and tried harder to mold his body into the cold tile of the wall.  “Relax, kid.  I’m not here to hurt you.”  The man held out his hand.  “I’m Nathan.”

Justin just stared at him in confusion.  There he was, in the bathroom, getting ready for bed when some strange guy showed up out of nowhere and instead of getting out or robbing them blind or whatever else trespassers or robbers do, the man was taking his sweet time for pleasantries.  Justin wanted to know who the hell this man was.  And what exactly he was doing hiding in their bathroom.  “What do you want?”

Nathan dropped his hand and leaned against the sink.  “To help you.”

“Help me,” the blonde eyed the man suspiciously.  “With what?”

The man smiled.  “What you’ve been thinking about non-stop since you left the Rage party.”

Narrowing his eyes, Justin studied the man’s face.  Something in the stranger’s eyes told Justin that he wasn’t here to hurt him.  Relaxing a bit, the blonde leaned casually against the wall now.  “How do you know about that?”

Nathan chuckled.  “Come on, Justin.  Everybody knows about that.”

“How do you know my name?”

Nathan took a deep breath.  “Because I’ve been watching you.  You and Brian.”

Justin’s eyes widened.  “Brian?  But…”  None of this made sense.  “Who are you?”

The man smiled again.  “I’m what you call a timekeeper.”

“Timekeeper?”

“A celestial being.”

Justin greeted the man with a look of confusion.  “Like…an angel?”

Nathan shook his head.  “No.  Angels are more like soldiers.  They report to the Big Guy.  Me on the other hand…I’m self-employed.”

Completely certain that this was just a dream or that the long week and sleep deprivation had finally caught up with him, Justin decided to just go ahead with this bizarre conversation.  “So, what do you do exactly?”

Nathan walked over to the toilet.  Lowering the lid, he sat down and took out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter.  “I control time,” he said as a matter-of-factly as he put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it.  “Ever read books about time machines?”

Justin nodded.

“Well, that’s sort of what I am.  I can change time, I can move time, I can go back in time, go forward in time.  Anything having to do with time, I’m your man,” Nathan explained.

“Uh-huh,” Justin nodded, now completely positive that he was dreaming.  “And what does that have to do with me?”

Nathan sighed exasperatedly, rolling his eyes.  “I told you.  I’m here to help you.”

“And how is an angel of time…”

“A timekeeper,” Nathan corrected him.

“Sorry, a timekeeper,” Justin amended.  “How can a timekeeper help me exactly?”

Nathan took one more puff out of the cigarette before getting up and throwing it into the toilet.  He flushed before turning back to face Justin.  “I can take you back in time.”

“Back in time.”

The timekeeper puffed out an exasperated breath.  “Would you stop repeating everything I say?  Were you this annoying when you were with Brian?”  He stood up and walked over to Justin.  “You just wished Brian knew how to love, didn’t you?”

Justin looked away, not even surprised that this angel – sorry, timekeeper – knew his most intimate thoughts.

“I can help you with that,” Nathan continued.  “You can go back in time and help Brian learn how to love.”

Since it was just a dream, Justin figured it didn’t hurt to at least entertain the idea.  “And do what exactly?”

Nathan shrugged.  “How should I know?  I’m just a fucking angel.  You’re the one who thinks you just lost the love of your life.”

Justin scoffed.  “I thought you said you weren’t an angel.”

Nathan groaned.  “I wonder how Brian didn’t smother you for all the talking you do.”

Justin grinned, remembering all the times Brian would whine about him talking too much.  “He usually just tuned me out.”

“No wonder,” Nathan sneered.  “Now, do you want my help or not?”

Justin inhaled sharply, walking over to the toilet and sitting down where Nathan sat just moments before.  “I’m still not sure how you can help me.”

“I told you.  I can take you back in time.  When Mr. Fortress didn’t have so many fucking walls built up.”  Nathan leaned against the wall and stared down at the blonde.  “So, what do you say?”

Justin narrowed his eyes.   The growing cynic in him had to know, “Why would you do that?”

Nathan shrugged.  “Why wouldn’t I?”

“You’re telling me you do that a lot?  Help couples?”

“No.”  The man shook his head.  “Actually, I did it only once before.”

Justin arched his eyebrow.  “And how did that work out?”

“They both got killed,” Nathan replied without even skipping a beat.

Justin snorted out a laugh.

“But then, it was Salem, the witch trials…it wasn’t pretty.”

Justin covered his mouth in order not to laugh.  Instead he decided to get back to the matter at hand.  “So, then why do you care about me and Brian?  Why do you want to help us?”

Nathan took a deep breath.  “Because since you found your fiddler-on-the-roof my life lacks in entertainment.”

Justin’s eyes widened again, this time in amusement. 

“Hey, don’t mock.  You have no idea how boring it is to be the timekeeper.  At least the angels have different assignments and they’re down here, on Earth every day, watching their assignees and helping them.  Me?  I get to sit on the fucking cloud and make sure time runs smoothly.” The timekeeper huffed.  “It’s the fucking twenty-first century.  After a couple million years all the bugs have been worked out.  Time runs like clockwork.”  Nathan ranted. 

Justin bit his lower lip, holding back a chuckle.  “Are you gonna be getting to the point any time soon?”

Nathan glared at the teen.  “The only thing I get to do all day is watch.  People living their lives.  Falling in love.  Breaking up.  Having sex.  You have no idea how good you’ve got it.”  The angel seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.  “Anyway, since you two met it’s been fun.  It’s like watching a soap.  You’re together, you’re not, you’re together, you’re not.  Up…down…up…down.  I have to tell you, when you got bashed, I was on the edge of my seat with fucking tissues in my hand…just waiting there to see if you’d live.  See, the Big Guy doesn’t share that info with me.  So, I had no idea whether you were going to live until you finally woke up.  I nearly jumped for joy when I found out you were gonna be ok.”  Nathan sighed.  “But then, Brian.  He…he just cracked.  Poor guy.”

Justin tilted his head, studying the other man’s face.  “What do you mean?”

Nathan’s gaze met Justin’s.  “Oh, that’s right, you don’t know.  Nobody does.  Except for your mommy, but then she’d never tell.”

Justin stood up, moving closer to the strange man on the other side of the bathroom.  “What the fuck are you talking about?” 

“I’m talking about your ex spending his nights in the hospital for a month, watching over you, kiddo.  That’s what I’m talking about.”

The information astounded Justin and he backed away, leaning back on the sink.  “But…”

“What?  You really thought he didn’t give a shit?”

Justin blinked, staring down at the floor.  “No, I knew he did.  I just…he felt guilty…and I understood…that he didn’t show up…”

Nathan walked over to him, putting his hand on the teen’s shoulder.  “The problem is, sonny, he did.  He just didn’t want you to know.”

Justin closed his eyes.  He could have sworn, he felt Brian’s presence at the hospital so many times.  But he always wrote it off on wishful thinking.  And now…now it turns out, not only did Brian give a shit.  He was there…in the hospital…watching him…every night.

“Anyway,” Nathan continued, walking back over to the toilet and sitting down once again.  “You got out of the hospital and after a few bumps you two got back on track.  And I got a hell of a show to watch…every night…and sometimes mornings too.”

Justin’s head snapped up.  “You…watched us?”

Nathan smirked.  “Are you crazy?  Of course, I watched.  You two are the hottest thing I’ve seen in centuries…the two of you together…” Nathan sighed, smiling.  “Hot.”

Justin blushed.  “I can’t believe you watched us.”

“Blondie, have you seen you two?  I mean, separately you two are gorgeous.  But together…naked…” Nathan sighed dreamily. 

Justin smiled.  They did look good together, that was true.  Whenever they danced in the middle of Babylon…all eyes were on the two of them.  Always.  “Are you telling me that angels are gay?”

“I told you, I’m not an angel,” Nathan chastised.  “And no, we don’t have a sexual preference.  Or sex.  Or even a dick.” Nathan pouted.

“Oh.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t like to watch.”

Justin nodded.  “Got it.”

“So, see, you ruined it all when you decided that you wanted some stupid romance.  And let me tell you, kid, romance is highly overrated.  I’ve seen it happen time and time again.  The flowers and the poems and the fucking picnics are all fun and good, but they don’t last.  It’s always good to have something else to fall back on when the romance dies.”

Justin blinked.  “Like what?”

“Like maybe LOVE,” Nathan scoffed.  “I don’t know.  Just a suggestion,” he said, the words dripping with sarcasm. 

Justin looked away.  “Brian never loved me.”

The man rolled his eyes.  “If you want to believe that, if that helps you sleep at night, then be my guest, believe it.”

Justin looked up, furious at this stranger just showing up out of nowhere and judging him.  “What the fuck do you know?”

“I know the guy was there for you.  Even when he didn’t have to be.  But hey, he didn’t say the right words.  Of course you had to run.  And lie.  And cheat.”

Justin grit his teeth.  “Stop.”

“Oh, forgive me.  Did I offend you?  Did I hurt you feelings?”

The teen clenched his fists.  “Shut the fuck up!” he shouted.

Nathan rolled his eyes.  “Fine.  I’ll shut up.  I’m not here to chew your ass anyway.  That’s your new boyfriend’s job.”

“Then why are you here?”

The angel rose from his comfy seat and walked over to Justin.  “I told you.  I want to help you.  IF you still love Brian, that is.”

Justin lowered his gaze. 

“Well, at least we got that straightened out, forgive the expression.” Nathan smirked.  “But I still need the answer to my other question.”

Justin bit his lower lip, considering the offer.  “You can take me back in time?”

“Yes.”

“And that will change how things are now?  Will make Brian more open to love?”

Nathan shrugged.  “You can try.”

Justin stared down at his hands.

“What have you got to lose?”

Nathan was right.  It couldn’t get any worse.  He tried to convince himself that he loved Ethan, but the truth was, when he was with Ethan he fantasized about Brian.  When he was sleeping, he dreamed about Brian.  When he was taking a piss, he was still fucking thinking about Brian.  There wasn’t a time when he wasn’t thinking about Brian and he wasn’t sure he could take it any longer.

“Ok,” he said, standing up. 

Nathan smiled.  “Great.  Took you fucking long enough.”  He walked over to Justin, taking in his hand.  “Hold on tight.”

Justin closed his eyes and took a deep breath in.

~~~***~~~***~~~

He wasn’t sure how much time had passed.  It seemed like maybe minutes, but also maybe just mere seconds when he felt Nathan squeeze his hand.

“We have arrived,” he heard the angel’s voice next to him.

Breathing out the air he was holding all this time, Justin opened his eyes and looked around.  He was standing in a big hall; people…young people…mostly his age…squirming all around him.  They were all dressed differently – a lot of guys in army surplus; others in worn-in denim and rock bands t-shirts.  “Where are we?” Justin finally asked, turning back to the man standing next to him.

“The more appropriate question is WHEN are we,” Nathan corrected him.

The blonde looked away, staring back out into the crowd.  There were booths set up throughout the hall with signs for what appeared to be different groups and clubs…just like his first day at PIFA.  “We’re in…” He turned around, reading a huge banner over the entrance.  “Welcome to Pennsylvania State University!”  Justin’s eyes widened.  “Penn State?  We’re at Penn State?”

“Wow, you ARE smart,” Nathan scoffed.  “Come on, we’ve got places to be, people to see.”  He put his hand on Justin’s back, guiding the teen down a narrow hall. 

Justin couldn’t believe he was here.  He had heard stories about it from Brian…on rare occasion when the ad exec was in the mood to rehash his college days.  Mostly, though, his source of information regarding Brian’s life in college was Lindsay.  Every time he’d baby-sit Gus he would go through Lindsay’s photo album from those days, studying each picture of Brian carefully.  He could listen to her for hours as she talked about first meeting Brian in one of their classes.  Or the wild parties they had attended.

And now…now he was here.  The same place where Brian had spent four years of his life.  Justin didn’t quite understand what he was doing here, but it didn’t matter.  He just wanted to enjoy this for now.  Just being here made him feel closer to Brian, as if it was just one more page in the book of what he knew as Brian Kinney. 

Justin was so busy looking around the place; he didn’t notice that he was walking straight into somebody…until it was too late.

He started to apologize when his eyes traveled up to see who it was he just walked into…and he froze.  Two very familiar hazel eyes stared back at him. 

Go to Part 2

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