Intrepid Traveler - Part 2

“B…Br…” Justin stammered, trying to still his heart from bursting out of his chest.  It was Brian…only…only he looked so completely different – younger… dressed in plain black jeans, black shirt, and a leather jacket, longer hair…and…younger.  Much younger. 

Justin started to back away, but his legs refused to cooperate and he tumbled down to the floor. 

“Hey, you alright?” Brian asked, holding out his hand.  The other man’s eyes glistened, eyebrows furrowed with a look of concern, looking so much like the image of Rage Justin had firmly implanted in his mind…towering over JT before saving his life and whisking him away to safety.

“You ok?” Brian asked again.

But the artist couldn’t speak…or move…or even breathe…couldn’t do anything except stare at the beautiful face of his ex lover.  Finally, Justin managed a nod as he gratefully took Brian’s hand in his and let the taller man pull him off the floor.

“You sure?”

Not trusting himself to speak, Justin nodded again.

“Okay then.”  With a smirk and one last glance, Brian walked past him, leaving an astounded Justin standing in the middle of the hall wondering whether this really just happened or he was stuck in some sort of a dream…which very well could be.

“Well,” Nathan drolled behind him, “That was…interesting.”

Justin looked over his shoulder, the angel’s voice bringing him out of his daze.

“You made quite an impression.”

Justin glared at the man.  “Where did you take me?” he demanded, finally finding his voice.

“I told you, it’s WHEN that really matters.”

“Fine,” the teen shot back, annoyed.  “When?”

A sly smile spread across the man’s face as he motioned at the wall behind Justin. 

The blonde turned around, his eyes settling on a newsletter posted there.  The first line read, ‘September, 1990 Event Schedule’.  Justin swallowed hard, trying to comprehend exactly what this meant.  The clothes, the newsletter, the way Brian looked.  “1990?  We’re in 1990?”

Nathan nodded. 

“But…” Justin looked away, staring back at the newsletter.  “That means Brian’s…”

“Your age,” Nathan concluded.

“Nineteen,” Justin whispered.  “He’s nineteen.  And he’s a sophomore…at Penn State.”

Nathan nodded again.

“I don’t understand.  Why are we here?”

Nathan slowly opened a pack of cigarettes and took one out.  “You said you wanted Brian to be more open to love, didn’t you?” he said, putting the cigarette in his mouth and lighting it.

“Yes, but…I thought you were gonna take me to when he was a kid or something.  I mean, I always thought that the reason Brian was so closed off was because of his parents.  Because of his dad.”

Nathan shrugged.  “It is.  Partly.  Well…mostly.  But…” the angel took one puff out of the cigarette and put it out.  “He’s still open.  Or at least not AS guarded now.  THIS is when he started real construction on those damn walls of his.”

“In college?”

“Well, think about it.  This is when Brian became the man he is today, isn’t it?  When he could have anybody he wanted without any strings attached.  When he became independent.  When he ‘found’ himself.”  Nathan came closer to Justin.  “If you ask me, it makes perfect sense.”

Except, to Justin it didn’t make any sense.  What was he supposed to do?  Watch Brian fuck everything in sight?  Of course, it wouldn’t be anything new, but he had heard the stories of Brian’s glory college days.  And he was even worse then…or was it now…or…back in the past…  Justin shook his head, trying hard to focus on something aside from the way his lover…his EX lover looked at nineteen. 

“And what exactly am I supposed to do?” he asked.

Nathan shrugged.  “Hey, my job was to get you here.  How the fuck should I know what you do?  Do what you did when you first met him.  Somehow you drilled through those walls of his.  Do that now.”

As much fun as it sounded, Justin had no intention of going through all that shit again.  He was sick and tired of it.  Maybe it was that after two years of doing all the work he just figured he wouldn’t get any further and gave up.  Or maybe it was the fact that he had changed after the bashing, even though nobody seemed to want to acknowledge that, especially not Brian.  Or him, for that matter.  Or maybe he just grew up.  He wasn’t sure.  And he didn’t really care.  He knew from the start that this idea was crazy.  He was crazy.  So, it was time to put a stop to the craziness and go home. 

“I want you to take me back,” he said to the angel before turning around and walking toward what appeared to be an exit.  He needed to get out of the building.  The main hall was huge, but the walls just seemed to be closing in on him.

Justin hurried through the big wide doorway, warm wind and bright sunshine greeting him outside.

“Where the fuck are you going?” Nathan called after him, but Justin didn’t stop. 

He just kept on walking…with no particular destination in mind…he just had to keep walking.  That was what he told himself.  Just keep walking.  “I told you.  I want to go back.  Now.  Brian will never change.  Would never…” he stopped, trying to sort out the tenses in his head.  “Will…didn’t…” He shook his head.  “Fuck it.  Just take me back.”

“So, what?  You’re just gonna give up?  Just like that?  Again?”

“Fuck you,” Justin hissed.  “You don’t know ANYTHING!”

“Oh, really,” Nathan smirked, seemingly unfazed by Justin’s little outburst.  “I told you, Sunshine,” he said in a mocking voice.  “I’ve been watching you two from the beginning.  I know EVERYTHING.”

Justin stopped and turned to face the other man.  “What?  You saw us fuck and you think you know?  You have no idea what it felt like every time he rejected me.”

“But he stopped…rejecting you,” Nathan argued.

“No, he didn’t,” Justin replied.  “He just stopped being so obvious.  At least to everybody else.  But I still felt it.”  The blonde ducked his head, staring down at the ground.  “It was like he cut a piece out of my heart every time he did or said something.  After a while there just wasn’t anything left,” he said quietly.

Nathan sighed and put his hand on Justin’s shoulder, patting him gently.  “I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Justin nodded.

“Can I get you a fucking tissue?”

Justin’s head snapped up, shocked that the man would make fun of his feelings like that. 

“Or maybe some cheese with your whine?” the angel just went on, ignoring the pained look on the teen’s face.  “I swear, you’re even worse that Michael.”  He rolled his eyes.  “Poor little Sunshine, the big bad wolf Brian hurt his delicate feelings,” he mocked in a high-pitched voice.  “Give me a fucking break.”

Justin glared at the man, but didn’t say a word. 

“You knew who Brian was from the start.”

“Now YOU sound like Michael.”  Justin turned around and started walking away from Nathan, not wanting to hear any more of this. 

But Nathan didn’t seem to get the message, because he followed closely behind.  “And I hate to say this, but he might be right.  You knew who Brian was from the start and you went after him any way.”  Nathan caught up with him, and grabbing Justin’s shoulder, made the teen stop and turn around.  “You wanted him.  Loved him.  Despite him being…well…him.  And when you finally got what you wanted, you realized that he wasn’t perfect.  That he wasn’t some superhero you built up in your pretty little head.  He was human.  And all your dreams and sand castles came crashing down on you.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” Justin growled. 

“Oh, really?  

Justin held the man’s gaze, not willing to be the first one to back down.  The two stared off like that for what seemed like minutes.  Finally, Justin said, “It doesn’t matter.  I’m with Ethan now.” 

Nathan’s mouth curved at the corners.  “You’ve been saying that a lot lately.  I wonder who you’re trying to convince more.  Your friends?  Or yourself?”

Justin looked away, sighing, his gaze traveling across the trees and big building, finally settling on a lone figure at a table in front of a red brick building.  He always loved watching Brian work.  The man was so completely lost in thought sometimes, Justin could have had River Dance perform in the living room and Brian wouldn’t even notice.  Those were the days he missed.  When Brian would be working on his computer or fixing some layout Bob or Brad fucked up during the day.  And Justin would be flopped on the couch doing homework.  And once in a while, the artist would look up and just watch Brian, unable to look away.  Just like now.  He hated that no matter where he was, even what decade he was in; the sight of Brian Kinney still made his heart skip a beat.

“Oh, yeah, you’re with Ethan.  Sure,” he heard Nathan scoff behind him. 

Justin inhaled sharply, hating Nathan for being right.  Hating himself for still feeling everything he felt the first time he saw Brian.  For loving him. 

Justin felt something being shoved into his hands and, finally tearing his eyes away from the sight of Brian, looked at Nathan.

“This is your student id,” Nathan pointed at the object in Justin’s hand.  “Documents and information you’ll need.  And some money.”

“I have money,” Justin argued.

“Yeah, printed in 2003?  Come on, Justin, you got 1500 on your SATs.  Stay with me,” the man smirked.  “Oh, and here are some clothes.”  He handed Justin a bag that had magically appeared out of nowhere.  “So, you don’t stick out like a sore thumb in your stupid track suit jacket.  Have fun.” 

Before Justin could even object to the timekeeper making fun of his fashion sense or anything else for that matter, Nathan was gone. The teen looked around, but the angel had dissipated into the thin air.  “Nathan?  Nathan, come on, it’s not funny.”  The blonde tried to hide the rising panic in his voice.  “Nathan?”

But he got no answer. 

Exhaling, the blonde turned around, his eyes once again settling on the form of his…lover.  Deciding that there was nothing else he had left to do, Justin slung the bag over his shoulder and headed back toward the building and Brian.

His heart pounding in his ears, Justin walked up to the table where the young man dressed in black was currently reading a book and chewing on a sandwich.  Justin took one last deep breath in.  “Hi,” he said, praying that his voice doesn’t crack.

The brunette’s eyes left the pages of the textbook he was focusing on only moments before and settled on Justin, studying the blonde’s face for what to Justin felt like forever.  “He speaks,” Brian finally said with a half-smirk on his face.

Justin smiled shyly, realizing that he must have come off as an idiot, or a deaf mute at their first meeting.  “I just wanted to…” he cleared his throat.  “Apologize for…”

“Nearly knocking me off my feet?  Running me over?”

Justin held his breath, relieved to see Brian’s mouth tug at the corners.  “Yeah…that.”

“Don’t worry about it.  I hope your ass isn’t sore.”

Justin’s eyes widened.  “Excuse me?” 

Brian snickered.  “From your fall.”

“Oh, right.  Yeah, it’s fine.  Thanks.”  He knew he sounded like a mindless idiot who couldn’t put two words together, but Justin’s mind was racing and the only thing he could focus on at the moment was how beautiful Brian looked.  He couldn’t take his eyes off the brunette’s face.

He noticed Brian’s eyebrow travel up, turning into a beautiful arch.  Justin had observed that particular gesture so many times since he had met the man. He always knew what it meant, without Brian having to explain it to him. 

The look Brian was currently giving him was suggesting that he either say something else or get out of his hair, but Justin couldn’t bring himself to do either.  So, he just stood frozen in place, his eyes fixed on Brian’s.

The other man seemed to realize that the blonde wouldn’t be the one to speak, so he put the book down and held out his hand.  “I’m Brian Kinney.”

“I’m Just…” his voice trailed off, realizing that he couldn’t be himself here.  For various reasons…not the least of which that in the future Brian would probably remember meeting a Justin.  “Taylor,” he corrected himself.

“Just Taylor?  Is that like just Madonna?” Brian teased.

The young artist smiled at that.  He looked down at the student ID that Nathan put in his hand, reading the name.  “Taylor Weiss.”  He put the bag down and took Brian’s hand, shaking it lightly. 

The moment he touched him, the moment their hands met…skin on skin…Justin felt a surge of energy flow through him…like a jolt of electricity – something he always felt when he was with Brian.  He felt it that first night Brian took him home.  He still felt it the last night before the Rage party.  This…energy…the crazy chemistry…attraction…whatever one might call it…they still had it then…they always had it…this indescribable need for each other…  And they had it now.  Justin could see that the young man that would be his lover in the future…felt it too.

Finally, Brian pulled his hand away, breaking the connection.

“It’s nice…to meet you,” Justin stumbled over his words.

“Yeah.  You too,” the brunette replied, studying Justin carefully as the blonde settled down on the bench across from him.

“You’re new, aren’t you?” Brian asked when Justin’s attention was once again on him.

Reminding him not to stare at Brian so he wouldn’t scare off the other man, Justin nodded.  “Transfer,” he remembered from briefly glancing down at the papers still clutched his hand.

“From where?”

“PIFA.”

“Really,” Brian asked, seemingly impressed.  “So, what the fuck are you doing at PSU?”

Justin shrugged.  “I…just…” he looked away.  “Needed to get out of Pittsburgh.”

The taller man snickered.  “I can definitely understand that.  Who the fuck would wanna live there?”

Justin’s only response was a smile.  Not once had Brian complained about living in the Pitts.  He still remembered the panic and sadness he felt when Brian was planning on moving to New York.  And he actually hated himself for wishing that Brian wouldn’t get the job.  The truth was, though, that in the end Brian did love living there.  His whole family…his real family, not the one that he was stuck with just because his last name was Kinney…the family that counted…his friends…they were all there.  And Michael was right about something too…Brian loved being the top dog.  And no matter what the ad exec said, Pittsburgh was home. 

“Beats me,” Justin replied, biting back the chuckle.

Brian just smiled.  “So, what dorm are you in?”

“Uhm…” Justin looked down at the papers in his hand, quickly finding the one with housing information.  “Atherton,” he announced.

“Really?”

The blonde looked up, puzzled at the note of amusement in the other man’s voice.  “Yeah.”

Brian smirked as he picked up his book, stuffing it in his bag.  “I guess I’ll see you around there then,” he said while rising from the table. 

“You live there too?” Justin asked, surprised.  He had to give Nathan credit.  The angel – sorry, timekeeper – thought this one through. 

Brian nodded, slinging his bag over his shoulder.  He stopped, staring down at Justin for a moment.  “Later.”

Justin froze, wondering how such a simple word could stir up so many emotions inside him.  His feelings must have been showing on his face, because Brian cocked his head to the side, watching him intently. 

“What?” the brunette asked.

Justin swallowed the lump in his throat, shaking his head.  “Nothing.  Bye, Brian.”

The blonde was greeted to one more of Brian’s smirks before watching the man in black walk away from him. 

As soon as Brian disappeared behind trees and bushes, Justin buried his head in his hands, feeling like a year worth of stress and tension were just dumped on his shoulders, feeling it in every muscle, every bone in his body.  “Nathan,” he called out.  No answer.  “Nathan!” He looked up to see a couple of students walking past him and giving him strange looks.  But he didn’t care.  He needed to talk to the damn angel…NOW.  “Nathan!”

“What?”

The short man appeared to him, sitting in the same spot Brian had occupied only moments before.

“Where the fuck did you go?” Justin demanded.

The man took out a pack of cigarettes and lit one.  “I had other things to attend to.”

“Like what?”

“Like…” Nathan gave him an all-important look, but of course, Justin wasn’t buying it.  Dropping all the pretences, Nathan threw away his cigarette after one puff.  “Brad and Jennifer were just about to get it on.”

Justin cocked his eyebrow, trying to figure out if the other man was serious.  Of course, from everything he had heard so far, he had no reason to doubt the angel.  He snorted out a laugh.

“Hey, you laugh.  I’ve been waiting for over two months for that.”

“Two months?”  Justin stood up and picking up his bag, started to head toward his dorm.

A few moments later he heard feet behind him. 

“Yeah, well, he’s been filming a movie,” the other man said when he finally caught up with Justin.

Rolling his eyes, Justin continued on his way.

“Where…where are you going?” Nathan asked.

“Need to find my room,” Justin responded, glancing at the small map of the campus he held in his hands. 

“So, I take it you’re staying.”

Justin stopped, his eyes meeting the two brown eyes of the man that had put him in this position in the first place…transferring him in time…who seemed to know an awful lot about him…and Brian.  “Don’t look so fucking smug,” he replied, holding back a smile.  Yes, Nathan was right.  But there was no chance in hell he was going to admit it.

The other man raised his hands in the air in a mock defeat.  “I didn’t say anything.”

Justin rolled his eyes again. 

“So, how did it go?” Nathan inquired.

Pulling his lower lip in between his teeth, Justin looked away, pondering the question.  To say it was weird would be an understatement.  “It was…it’s strange.  It’s like…he’s Brian…but at the same time…he’s not…you know?” 

“Yeah,” Nathan nodded.  When Justin gave him a ‘yeah, right’ look, he smiled.  “Well, no, not really.” 

Justin smiled.  “It’s alright.”  He sighed.  “I guess I should go.”

“Good idea.”

Justin picked up his bag, slinging it over his shoulder once again.  “Are you…how am I gonna get a hold of you…if…you know…if I need you?”

Nathan smiled.  “Just call my name and I’ll be there,” he singsonged. 

Justin nodded, returning the man’s smile.  With one last glance at the timekeeper, Justin headed toward…something…completely unknown.

Go to Part 3

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