"Only ticket holders past this
point," the sign at the metal
detectors in the international area of the Dublin Airport read. Kristen
turned around and looked at Shane. "I guess this is where we say
goodbye."
"Yeah," he said. He wrapped his arms around
her. "I'm gonna call you
everyday."
"You better not Shane, or I'll stop answering my
phone," Kristen replied as
she hugged him back.
"You know you'll miss my voice, my lilting Irish
accent."
Kristen laughed and playfully slapped his arm.
"You are such a dork."
"Whatever geek," he replied with a chuckle.
"Nice way to say goodbye Shane, make fun of me."
Kristen pretended to
pout.
"You started it, you called me a dork."
"Well, that's because you are." Kristen
looked down at her watch, twenty
minutes until her flight left; she needed to get to her gate. "It's
getting
close to that time Shane."
"Ok," he gave her one last hug. "Don't
forget me ok?"
"I'll never forget you, you're unforgettable."
With that cue, Shane began singing, "Unforgettable, in
every way.
Unforgettable, and that's how you'll stay."
Kristen rolled her eyes at him. "Stop now, please.
People are staring at
us."
"I don't care." Then Shane gave her a kiss on
the cheek. "Take care of
yourself Kristen."
"You too Shane." She returned his kiss on the
cheek. "Bye."
"Bye Kris," Shane said as she picked up her
carry-on and headed for the
metal detectors. She turned and gave him one last wave and then blew him a
kiss. He pretended to catch it and sent her one. She giggled as she
caught
his. She gave him one last wave then turned her back and headed for her
gate. And the longest three months of their lives began.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Where's Kristen?" Brian asked Shane. The
lads had all met in Dublin to
record some new songs for their new album, due out in the fall. Kristen
usually attended all their recording sessions in Dublin.
"She went home to LA for awhile," Shane answered,
not wanting to share any
details.
"How long is awhile?" Kian asked.
Shane shrugged his shoulders. "A couple months,
maybe longer. She needs
time to think, sort things out. The events of the past few weeks really
confused her."
Nicky just sat silent. 'It's all my fault that she
left,' he thought. 'I
drove her away from Dublin.'
Shane didn't feel like discussing it any further.
"Let's get this song
recorded ok? It needs to be done if it's going to be the first
single."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Kristen sighed as she sat in the bridal store. She had
accompanied Lara on
yet another wedding dress fitting. Lara was changing back into her street
clothes so they could go and get lunch. "Ready?" Lara asked as
she stepped
from the dressing rooms.
"Yep," Kristen said as she stood up. "Do
you mind if we talk over lunch?"
"That's the reason we're going Kristy, so we can
talk."
"Ok," Kristen said and followed Lara out the door.
They stopped at a
little sidewalk caf� down the street for lunch. After the ordered,
Kristen
asked, "How did you know you loved Eric?"
"What do you mean? Lara asked back.
"Well, like how did you know for sure you loved
him?"
Lara shrugged her shoulders. "I dunno, I just did,
why?"
"Because, I've been thinking the past two months about
me and Shane. He's
always been there for me; he's my best friend. I can always count on him
for everything. But I never thought of him in a romantic sense, not until
he told me he loved me. Then I started to notice stuff."
"Stuff like what?"
"Like the way I fit into his arms so right when he holds
me. And I get
these tingles when he touches me." Kristen sighed. "And I think
I've always
secretly, deep down, wanted to be with him."
Lara smiled at Kristen. "Sounds like you answered
your own question."
"But why do I still want Nicky?"
"I'm not sure Kristy, maybe because he is something you
can't have?"
"But I can have him now if I wanted him Lara. Agh! This
is so frustrating.
It's like, how do you choose between a lover and a friend? Which one do
you
pick?"
"Your soulmate," Lara answered.
"How do you know who your soulmate is?"
Lara sighed thoughtfully. "Your soulmate is the
person whom you couldn't
imagine living without. The person who makes you whole. If that
person
weren't in your life, a part of you would be missing. That's who your
soulmate is."
Kristen sat silently, thinking about what Lara had said.
It was so much to
take in. Now if she could only decide who fit that description.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"You're listening to fm104," Kristen's computer's
speakers transmitted the
fm104 promo spot. She was listening to her Uncle Jason's show while she
checked her email. Shane had told her that Westlife's new single was out
and she was hoping to catch it. Shane wouldn't let her know what it was
called, or even let her hear it. He knew she had to hear it for herself,
in
her own time. He was hoping it would bring her home, to him.
Kristen finally got sick of waiting and picked up her phone.
"Fm104," the
lightly accented voice answered.
"Hi Uncle Jason, it's Kristen."
"Kristen! How are you darlin'?"
"I'm good, how are you?"
"Fine, we miss you here at the station."
"I know. Hey, could you do my a huge favor?"
"Anything for my favourite niece."
"Could you play the new Westlife single? Shane
won't let me hear it, he
won't even tell me the name of it. I know you have it, but haven't
premiered it yet. So could you? For me?"
Jason smiled. He couldn't resist the request from his
niece. "Of course,
I'll have it on in a few minutes. It's called 'If I'm Not The One' by the
way. Did Shane tell you he co-wrote it with Nicky?"
"What? They co-wrote it?" Kristen was
shocked. She didn't know they were
speaking.
"Yep. It's a good song, very sweet. You'll
love it."
"Ok, well, I'll let you go so you can play it for
me."
"Alright, bye Kristen."
"Bye Uncle Jason."
Kristen hung up her phone and waited patiently for the song.
About fifteen
minutes later, Jason came on and said, "This is a very special exclusive
sneak peak of the new Westlife single 'If I'm Not The One'. I know I'll
get
in trouble for playing it, but it's for a very special girl."
Kristen smiled and sat back in her chair. She cleared
her mind and paid
attention to the every single word.
If I'm not the one you want
Take your time to figure out
Hey yeah
I'm staring at your picture every night
The scent of you still lingers in my mind
I wonder if you're alone and feel all right
And has the sun come out of the clouds
Shane sang the first part of the first verse, like he usually
did. But it
was shocking when it was Nicky's voice that sang next.
And sometimes when I listen to our song
The night seems so cold and far too long
I wanna call you up cuz in the end
I keep writing letters to my garbage can
Lately, feels like I'm going crazy
And baby, come and lay down beside me
All the lads sang the chorus, but Shane's voice was most
prominent.
Kristen knew he meant the words for her.
If I'm not the one you want, then who's he?
Take your time to figure out, and you'll see
If I'm not the one you want, then maybe
I'll be the one you need
Even though it was Bryan singing the second verse, the words
hit Kristen
like a ton of bricks.
I feel like it's on you I can depend
Wish I could turn back the hands of time
Enough of building castles in the sand
Why can't we be forever
"Why is this so hard?" Kristen asked herself.
"Why can't I make up my
mind?"
Lately, feels like I'm going crazy
And baby, come and lay down beside me
If I'm not the one you want, then who's he
Take you time to figure out, and you'll see
If I'm not the one you want, then maybe
I'll be the one you need (I'll be the one you need)
If I'm not the one you want, then who's he
Take your time to figure out, and you'll see
If I'm not the one you want, then maybe
I'll be the one you need
Somewhere, in the back of my mind (back of my mind)
I know that you will be mine (you will be mine)
Somehow, wish I could rewind (I could rewind)
And leave all the worries behind
The song couldn't have been truer. Nicky was the one
Kristen wanted, but
deep down she knew that Shane's love was what she needed. "But can I
sacrifice what I want and still be happy?"
If I'm not the one you want
I'll be the one you need (I'll be the one you need)
Take your time to figure out
I'll be the one you need (I'll be the one you need)
If I'm not the one you want, then who's he
Take your time to figure out, and you'll see
If I'm not the one you want, then maybe
I'll be the one you need (I'll be the one you need)
I'll be the one you need
Kristen looked at two pictures sitting on her desk. One
was of her and
Shane, smiling and hugging one night after one of Westlife's headlining
shows at the Point. The other was of her and Nicky. It was a goofy
picture
that Bryan had taken during one of Kristen's many ventures on a Westlife
promotional tour. This one was in Tokyo and she'd jumped onto Nicky's
back.
Bryan had his camera out at just that moment and captured it forever on
film. "I have to go back," Kristen said. "And choose
one of you so the
other can get on with his life."