Kristen looked at the clock again. Shane's flight had surely landed in Dublin by now, and he'd be at her place any minute. She'd asked him if she could see him before he went home to Sligo. She had to tell him this in person.
There was a knock on the door. Kristen took a deep breath and opened the door. "Hi Shane," she said when she saw his face.
He gave her a hug. "I missed you Kris."
"I missed you too Shane. Come in and sit down, we need to talk."
Shane had a nervous feeling about this, like Kristen was going to tell him something he didn't want to hear. He sat down on the couch and she sat down on the table, so she could face him. In the background, the radio softly played.
You got to leave me now, you got to go alone"Shane," she began as she took his hands into hers. "I'm going home, to LA, tonight."
The news hit Shane like a punch in the face. "For how long?" he asked, praying it was only for a few days.
"I'm not sure, maybe a few months. Lara is getting married in November, she wants me to help with the wedding."
"That's not why you are really leaving, is it?" Shane knew there was something more to this.
When you're soaring through the air, I'll be your solid groundKristen looked away from Shane. She couldn't bear to see the hurt in his eyes as she told him, "No, it's not. It's because of you and Nicky, and how confused I am right now. I need time to sort things out."
"Can't you do that here?" Shane couldn't let her leave; he needed her too much.
Kristen shook her head. "There are too many memories in Dublin, too many things that can effect me."
"So you're leaving me?" Shane felt like his heart had just been ripped out of his chest.
"No, I'm coming back Shane, I just need some time away." Kristen turned Shane's face so she could look him in the eyes. "I promise I am coming back Shane. I could never leave you forever. I need you in my life."
I'll keep looking up, awaiting your return"Then don't go Kris. Stay here, with me."
"I can't Shane. If you really love me like you say you do, you have to let me go so I can decide what I want."
And I'll be on the other end, to hear you when you call"You can't lose me Shane, I swear. I will come back. Best friends forever, remember?"
Shane nodded. "How could I forget?" He smiled at her through the tears forming in his eyes.
"I don't know, but you better never forget, or I'll have to kick your butt," Kristen said, returning his smile.
He laughed, "You couldn't kick my butt."
] "Wanna see me try? Huh? Bring it on Filan!" Kristen put up her hands in fists, pretending to be ready to fight.
"Just remember what I did to Nicky Kris." Shane regretted that statement as soon as it left his lips. Kristen's smile suddenly disappeared. "I'm sorry Kris, I shouldn't have said that."
"Don't worry about it. One of these days, I'll be over him."
Your memories, the sunshine, every new day brings"I hope so Kris." Shane gently touched her face. "I know someday you'll love someone who will love you the way you need to be loved."
Kristen sighed. 'But it might not be you Shane,' she thought to herself. She couldn't say that to him, not now. She'd broken his heart enough for one day by telling him she was leaving. "I hope so Shane. But sometimes I don't think I'll ever find someone to love."
"You will Kris. He's out there somewhere. You never know, he could be right in front of your eyes."
When you're soaring through the air, I'll be your solid ground"Shane, please, don't. I told you..."
"I know, I know what you told me. That you don't feel that way about me. Maybe that's how you feel now, but you might change your mind."
"How can he stay this hopeful?' Kristen wondered. "Maybe. That's why I need to go to LA though Shane, to figure out what I really do feel."
"I understand Kris. But if you don't come back, I'll hunt you down."
Kristen giggled. "I promise I am coming back. How could I not return to old Dublin Town and the beautiful Emerald Isle?"
"Ok, now I believe you." Shane smiled at her. "Just don't be gone too long, ok?"
"I won't be. Now give me a hug, 'cause I'll miss them while I'm gone." Shane gave her a long, tight squeeze. He took in a deep breath, so he could make a memory of her smell. She always wore Cool Water for Women. He loved the way it smelled on her. Kristen closed her eyes and tried to freeze the moment in her mind. It was then that she noticed how well she fit into Shane's arms. And then she felt it, this strangle tingly feeling. 'I have to be imagining this,' she told herself.
Shane reluctantly let her go a few seconds later. "When does your flight leave?"
"7:30. Direct to LA."
Shane just nodded. "Want me to stay to take you to the airport?"
Kristen shook her head. "No, you don't have to if you want to get back to Sligo."
"I would rather see you off. It's going to be months before I see you again."
Kristen smiled. "Ok, if you really want to take me, that's cool."
"I don't really want to take you to the airport because I don't want you to leave, but I want to say goodbye to you before you leave. I'd feel terrible if I didn't see you off."
"Good, I want you there. You know how nervous I get before I fly."
"Yeah, I do. Remember that time you went with us to Sydney?"
Kristen laughed as she recalled that trip. She had been so doped up on motion sickness pills that she passed out on the flight. Halfway there, she began to hallucinate and woke up screaming. She swore that Shane had turned into an alien. "That was a good trip."
"Yeah, it was. Sydney was were we..." Shane's voice trailed off. Maybe it wasn't a good idea to bring that up.
Kristen just nodded. "Can't ever forget that. I had always thought that just happened because we were drunk." Shane wasn't sure what to say. Alcohol had been a factor in his decision that night, but not the only one. If he had been sober, it never would have happened, not that way. But he had been drunk, and he didn't think with his head and he made a huge mistake. But to this day, he never regretted it, not for a second. He would never take back the emotions or the way he felt that night.
Kristen sat down on the couch and pulled her knees up to her chest. That night in Sydney, the night she and Shane let their relationship take one step further. The night the alcohol clouded her mind so badly she almost ruined her friendship with Shane. But somehow, they managed to move past that. It was a one-time occurrence, and they both swore it would never happen again. Yet a tiny part of Kristen had always wished it had become something more. She had always thought that that feeling was because she wanted to redeem herself to Shane somehow. Now she knew better.