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HUMOUR
The monkey lifted a fish from the water and placed it on a tree. When asked what he was doing, "I am saving it from drowning," was the reply.
***
"The pig, children, is a most useful animal", said the teacher. "We use its head for brawn, its legs for ham, its bristles for brushes. Now tell me, what else do we use from the pig?"
"Please, miss, we use its name when we want to be rude!"
***
An applicant for the position of a child’s nurse was asked:
"Have you ever had any experience with children?"
"Sure, ma’am," she replied confidently, I used to be a child myself."
***
A convent stood just in front of a boys’ play-ground. Every now and then a stray ball would land there and one of the boys would run in to fetch it. The nuns were forced to put a sign: ‘No trespassing.’ This gave them some peace. But down came the sign when the sisters saw another one alongside. It read: ‘Forgive us our trespasses.’
***
Wilson: Jackson and William had a terrible row at the club last night.
Companion: That’s strange. I thought those two were inseparable.
Wilson: They were. It took six of us to drag them apart.
