The Reckoning

all of my things, I need them no more
as I lie crying down on the floor
The days go bye, I struggle and try
sometimes it's hard to understand why
in mornings I wake so sad that I live
and no one deserves the pain that I give
but no one the pain which I feel
one day they will know that I am for real
can't say they would care If I did die
I don't believe they'd understand why

I put a bullet in the chamber
I spin it and pull back the hammer
I aim in my mouth, ease the trigger

I must be lucky, third time I tried
my honorable death's been denied
I pulled it twice more and then I cried
being flung on the gun had fired

maybe it's luck, maybe I'm blessed
no one must know what I have done
it's got to be, it's for the best
hope they still think I won't stay gone

different now I found the girl of my dreams
nothing is ever as bad as it seems
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