Three Things I Learned from Life
1. Society considers people of extremely small stature comical. They think of comical names for them (many of them offensive): midgets, munchkins, dwarfs, vertically challenged, shorties, pygmy, etc. I�m not just talking about the Austin Powers movies and that show with Gary Coleman. Midgets equaled funny way before Wizard of Oz. They were stars of Vaudeville, variety shows, circuses, and everywhere else. They have been considered funny for as long as the Scots have been considered drunks.
Now everyone knows that these people shouldn�t be treated differently, unless�.you meet Danny Woodburn, who starred as a character in several Seinfeld episodes. Now I have had several encounters with him, okay two. From the awkward Ralph�s milk episode to the he cut in front of me in line at the Grove Theater incident. If you happen to see this particular little person, watch out! He is completely pseudo-evil.
1 1/2: Scots are drunks.
2. PETA is not pure evil. Now I know what you�re thinking,� PETA is pure evil�and I think this website is hilarious and the creator is hot (I assumed the last part).� Well you�re wrong. Uhm, about the first part. They sent me a button. A button with a smiling cute carrot called Chris P. Carrot. After ignoring the crap about not eating meat, I stuck that button on my wall. That button has got me through the worse days of this month. Its cheerful smile reminded me of the happiness that life can bring and its hilariously stupid message brought a smirk to my face. Yes, I love that little button. I don�t care that to get it I had to lie and say I was under 10 years old. It my favorite free button ever and without it, this webpage would not be possible.
Plus the letter �e� was italicized and everyone knows evil hates italics, its just that simple.
Plus Plus their campaign to use nudity to combat animal exploitation is also not evil.
3. Eating certain vitamins turns your piss neon.
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