She woke up the next morning feeling totally exhausted. For almost an hour she stared bleakly at the ceiling, a million thoughts racing through her mind. She thought that she had finally been able to forget the past and focus on the future. Apparently she had not forgotten at all. Her nightmare last night had caused all the pain she had previously experienced to resurface. Although it had happened almost a year ago, she knew it would be a long time before she could put the past behind her.

She gazed aimlessly out the window. The brilliant Californian sun blinded her eyes, forcing her to raise a hand to her face to shield herself from the early morning rays. She turned away from the radiant sun, glancing at the digital alarm clock resting upon her night table.

It was still early. 9:15 the clock read. She didn�t feel like getting out of bed just yet. She contemplated staying under the warm covers for a few more hours. Against her better judgement though, she miraculously managed to pull herself out of bed.

She trudged slowly over to the bathroom dragging her feet as she walked. She felt dizzy as she walked so she put her hand upon the wall to steady herself. She fumbled with the ornate brass doorknob of the bathroom and finally managed to get it open.

Once inside the bathroom, she immediately went to the sink, turning it on full blast. She splashed her face repeatedly with cold water. For the first time since she entered the bathroom, she looked up at her reflection. The lack of sleep had certainly taken its toll on her. Her usual glowing peaches and cream complexion looked dull and lifeless. Her china doll blue eyes were rimmed with dark circles. Her dishevelled blonde hair hung loosely around her shoulders lacking its usual volume and bounce. The dazzling smile that was usually so endearing was non-existent today.

She watched as a solitary tear escaped from her eyes. She wiped it away quickly, patting her face dry with a towel. Get yourself together Jessica! It�s all over. Justin is gone! her mind screamed. In her heart though, she knew that it was not over. For her, it had just begun all over again.

� I wonder what happened to Jess? I thought I heard the shower running earlier when I woke up,� Lila commented between chews. She swallowed her food, taking a sip of her orange juice.

�I hope nothing�s wrong. It�s been hard for her this past year. The poor girl has been through so much recently,� Elizabeth replied.

The two girls sat across one another in the modern Spanish tiled kitchen of the spacious beach house that the three of them shared. The whole beach house had been totally revamped before they had moved in a year ago. The girls loved the modern kitchen where they often opted to spend their mornings chatting animatedly. The ceramic cream kitchen tiles contrasted beautifully with the light grey coloured countertops. The modern silver coloured refrigerator and stove gleamed in the sunlight. The aroma of freshly brewed coffee and pancakes lingered in the air.

�Jessica definitely needs a break,� Lila said downing the last of her orange juice. �She�s been working way too hard. I guess she�s trying to keep herself occupied. Now that school�s over, maybe she�ll realize she needs a break,� Lila finished with genuine concern.

The girls had all been best friends from the time that they could walk. They had grown up together in Los Angeles, not too far from UCLA, which they now attended. They treated one another like family, which meant that they were constantly looking out for each other. Over the years the strong bond linking the girls to one another had developed even more. They shared everything with each other � their pain, triumphs, sadness and insecurities. There was nothing that they couldn�t tell each other.

Elizabeth stared down at her plate with a pensive expression. She fidgeted with her sandy brown hair, twirling it around her index finger. �I think Jessica needs a diversion. Something to take her mind off school, work and�� her voice trailed off. She knew it wasn�t necessary to finish her sentence. She knew Lila understood perfectly well what she was talking about. Justin McKay. Even the mere mention of his name brought chills to her spine. It�s just such a shame. They used to be so happy together. She shivered as she shook him from her mind.

Jessica eyed herself critically in the bathroom mirror. The hot scalding water from the shower had helped slightly. The shower had washed away all the traces of lack of sleep but she still felt terrible. The shower however, had not been able to wash away the emotional wounds, which her dream had re-opened.

She got dressed slowly, choosing the most vibrantly coloured shirt she could find in an attempt to brighten her mood. She finally chose a tight yellow halter-top that exposed her toned midriff and a pair of white Capri pants. She piled her hair atop her head in a messy updo. She exhaled loudly as she examined herself in the mirror. Despite her efforts, she knew that Lila and Elizabeth would immediately know something was amiss. They knew her so well.

She opened the door and took a deep breath as she made her way to the kitchen. The smell of fresh coffee greeted her. Before she rounded the corner to enter the kitchen, she took one last look at herself in the hallway mirror. Although she knew it was highly unlikely, she prayed that the girls wouldn�t notice anything was wrong. She didn�t want to think or talk about her dream again.

She turned the corner and walked into the airy kitchen. �Mmm. Something smells good,� she said. She assumed her usual place upon a wooden stool next to Lila. Elizabeth sat across from them. Every morning before heading off to campus, Elizabeth would cook the girls� breakfast. It had become a morning ritual for the girls to gather to eat before they went off to class. Elizabeth loved cooking for them and had become an excellent chef in the process.

Elizabeth set down a platter of pancakes with syrup dripping off of them in front of Jessica. Eyeing Jessica with a practised eye she said, �We were getting kinda worried about you. What happened?�

Jessica tried to avoid Elizabeth�s eyes. She knew Elizabeth would immediately be able to detect her sadness if she looked directly at her. �I just decided to take a long relaxing shower this morning,� Jessica replied shakily.

�We�re here to help Jessica. If you need anything you know you can come to us,� Lila told her placing an arm on her shoulder.

�Thanks guys. I�m fine though. Nothing�s wrong. Don�t worry about me,� Jessica replied uncertainly. Am I really fine? Jessica wondered to herself.

Lila and Elizabeth exchanged doubtful looks but decided to keep quiet. There was a moment of silence before Lila changed the subject. Her face lit up animatedly as she talked. Her light green eyes set amongst her high cheekbones sparkled as she spoke. Her straight brunette hair was tied back in a tight ponytail high atop her head. �Brian called last night. The guys will be over in about an hour�s time.�

Brian Littrell was Lila�s boyfriend of almost two years. The two had been good friends long before their relationship had blossomed into love. Lila and Brian were perfect for each other. Lila�s classy elegance contrasted perfectly with Brian�s witty sense of humour. They were opposites, but together they clicked. They had a special bond between each other that no one could ever come between. Their relationship had been tested many times before, but they had passed the tests with flying colours. Lila couldn�t image her life without Brian. He was a part of her and she was a part of him.

I totally forgot about the guys, Jessica thought silently closing her eyes. It was so uncharacteristic of Jessica to forget something like this. What�s wrong with me?

�AJ�s pretty excited too. He called me last night to remind me as well,� Elizabeth said referring to her boyfriend AJ. Her relationship with AJ was totally different than Brian and Lila�s. The two were free spirits. They had just started going out recently and their four-month anniversary was coming up in a few weeks. Their relationship wasn�t as intense and passion filled as Brian and Lila�s, but they still cared about each other a great deal. Lately though, Elizabeth had been having mixed feelings. She would never let on, but she wanted more. She craved for the intensity and electricity that Brian and Lila shared.

�I can�t believe Nick is coming back into town. It has been how long? Almost a year and a half since we saw him last,� Jessica recalled attempting to join in the conversation.

Nick Carter used to be friends with them back in high school. He and Brian had played together on the school basketball team and had become close friends over the years. Brian had introduced him to the girls who had immediately taken a liking to him. His sense of humour and sweetness had been so endearing.

Unfortunately, the year high school had ended, Nick�s parents had split up. Nick had opted to go live with his dad along the coast in Long Beach. His father was a big business tycoon for a prominent law firm, which he had built himself from the ground up. Over the past few years though, business had declined. Nick�s father had recently acquired a prime piece of land in Los Angeles where he was going to move his offices in hopes that business would pick up. Nick would be starting that fall with them at UCLA. His transcript had already been sent over from Cal State down in Long Beach. He was going to share the beach house which Brian and AJ lived in. The boys lived about a block away from the girls. The beach houses were both located just off campus, which was one of the deciding factors to move in there.

�I can�t wait to see Nick again. We really should have made an effort to see him sooner,� Lila said seriously.

�We�ve all been so busy lately. School has been so hectic. We barely have time for ourselves. He�ll understand,� Elizabeth assured them.

�Brian�s been down to see him a couple of times already this year,� Lila stated.

The girls chatted on about Nick as they cleared the remaining breakfast dishes away. Jessica only half-heartedly participated in the conversation. Thoughts of Justin and the recurrence of her horrible dream raced through her mind. On the surface, it seemed as though everything was all right, but inside she was a mess. Her dream had terrified her more than anything else. For a while she had thought that she had been able to forget about Justin. It had been almost a year now. In her heart though, she knew that wherever she went and whatever she did Justin always remained at the back of her mind. When will I be able to forget? How do you forget about someone who hurt you so badly? she wondered.

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