Nick sat quietly watching the rise and fall of her chest as she slept peacefully. Her tousled brown hair was spread haphazardly across the pillow and her pouty lips pursed in a triumphant smile. The creased white sheets hugged her bare golden skin protectively.

A sly victorious smile twitched upon his lips as he ran a hand through his blond hair. It had been so easy. A contrived sob story, a few flirtatious comments and one or two smoldering glances from his baby blues was all it took. After that, he practically had her eating out of the palm of his hand. She was no different than all the others.

Melissa, she had said her name was. He knew a lot of Melissas. How many was it now? He could hardly even keep count. To Nick though, it wasn�t important. Just like all the Melissa�s of the past, the one lying before him was nothing more than his newest conquest - a cheap thrill and a pretty face. And what a pretty face she was. A sight for sore eyes one would say.

It hadn�t taken Nick long at all to get on Melissa�s good side. He was fast becoming an expert at the art of seduction. However, he never allowed himself to stay with any of them long enough to seriously develop any feelings for them or become emotionally attached. Every week, it was someone new. He preferred it this way. It was more interesting.

By now, Nick had become almost numb to their tears and tortured faces when he ended things. They all reacted in the same way, threatening revenge and screaming obscenities in his direction. He was used to it, anticipated it even. He would take their verbal abuse, his face devoid of any emotion. Within the next hour though, he would be working on his next conquest.

Looking down at Melissa, for the first time in his life, he felt a twinge of guilt tug at his heart. The cocky smile faded from his lips quickly and for a split second was replaced by a grim line.

Melissa was a sweet girl. In the short while he knew her, he had already ascertained that she was sincere and honest. She was different from the other girls solely because she didn�t posses any of their undesirable character traits. She wasn�t nagging or insecure and didn�t have any of that overwhelming confidence which all the other girls he had previously been with did. Her mannerisms and speech weren�t contrived in the attempts of impressing him. She was truly genuine in everything she did.

Nick shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He wasn�t supposed to think or feel like this. He wasn�t supposed to feel anything at all. He had never felt any remorse for his actions before and certainly wasn�t about to allow himself to start now.

He eased his head onto the pillow, banishing all thoughts of remorse from his mind. He couldn�t feel bad. After all, this was all self-brought on. This was the lifestyle that he had chosen for himself. There was no turning back now. Or was there?

Jessica stood at the bay window of her luxurious bedroom, staring lucidly out at the vast twinkling sky before her. The Los Angeles skyline was breathtaking and beautiful; a sea of brilliantly shining lights illuminating a city that never slept. She stood gazing absentmindedly at the lights, wishing desperately that she could be a part of that excitement even if it was just for a second.

She sighed wistfully, tearing her eyes regretfully from the window. The sheer white curtains fell back into place as she turned dejectedly on her heel. An unbearable loneliness engulfed the air as she gazed forlornly around her spacious, elegantly furnished room.

In a way, the pin-drop silence was a welcome respite from the usual hollers and accusations that her mother threw at her. The heart-aching loneliness however, was what bothered her the most. Having no one to talk to, no one to entrust her innermost feelings and secrets with was excruciatingly painful.

It was times like these when Jessica regretted that she hadn�t been able to salvage any of her childhood friendships. Fearing that her friends would find out the truth about the bruises which constantly marred her face and body, she had closed herself off from everyone. Her friends had soon tired of her aloof, uncaring attitude and set off in search of new more interesting and talkative friends.

That was almost 10 years ago. Now, at the age of 19, Jessica was completely friendless. Not a soul in the world could be considered her friend, even in the remotest of senses.

With a heavy heart, she shuffled tiredly over to her bed and collapsed onto it gratefully. She arched her head upwards, her eyes scanning the ceiling aimlessly. The silence in the room was almost deafening as she squeezed her eyes shut tightly. She rubbed her temples in slow circles hoping to curb the headache, which she could feel creeping up upon her.

Jessica opened her eyes carefully and noticed the almost eerie glow that the moonlight filtering through the curtains cast upon the room. She traced the intricate pattern the light made upon the wooden floor with her eyes.

Her eyes wandered upwards to the windows again, and through the curtains she could faintly see the city�s twinkling lights. She sat there mesmerized for a few minutes wondering if somewhere in the world there was someone else who feeling just as lonely and alone as she was at that moment.

After a few minutes, her eyelids became heavy with exhaustion and started to droop slightly. Without hesitation, Jessica allowed the much-needed slumber to overtake her body and she quickly fell into a deep dreamless sleep.

Nick stood staring out at the shimmering Los Angeles lights, his face blank and expressionless. His eyes however, were another story. They were masked with pain and confusion as he gazed out the window spell-bound by the lights. These feelings were all so new and unexpected that he was slightly overwhelmed.

He remained at the window vaguely aware of the sleeping figure in the bed behind him. His mind was a mess of confusion as he attempted to sort through the chaos of thoughts and images, which were flashing throughout it.

What had offset these thoughts of remorse? Guilt was an entirely new sensation for him. He�d never experienced it before, simply because in his mind his actions had always been acceptable.

Turning his head back towards Melissa, he told himself not to feel bad. He had nothing to feel bad about. There was absolutely nothing wrong with living life to the fullest and enjoying yourself in the process.

Despite his attempts to convince himself otherwise, Nick knew that what he was doing was indeed wrong. He knew that the only reason he had chosen a life style like this, free of commitment and emotion, was because he was scared. Nick was deathly afraid of loving or caring about anyone. He had tried that once and she had left him for someone else. Someone better looking and more attentive. Someone less like him.

Nick was also aware that there was no escaping this lifestyle. He was in too deep. So deep that he was beyond caring about anyone or anything, himself included.

He marched purposefully back over to the bed determined to ignore all the guilty feelings that continued to plague him. He paused at the foot of the bed, observing Melissa�s sleeping figure silently.

His legs became heavy and suddenly he felt incapable of moving. It was as if he was rooted to the ground, unable to move any part of his body. He couldn�t bring himself to climb back into bed with her. He didn�t want to.

The walls suddenly began to close in on him as his eyes darted furtively around the dark room. It quickly became unbearably hot and even though he was clad in a tank top, perspiration broke out all over his body. He shifted uncomfortably, running a hand through his thick blond hair.

Suddenly, Nick couldn�t take it anymore. He had to get out. Get away. Anywhere but there would be fine. At that moment, Nick didn�t even want to be himself. He wanted to be someone else.

Jessica tossed and turned fitfully, burying her head beneath the pillows. It was no use though. She could still hear everything.

Her mother�s drunken laughter and screams filtered into Jessica�s room from across the hallway. As usual, her mother wasn�t alone. Her slurred voice was accompanied by another voice. A much deeper one. Jessica pulled her thick duvet up around her head protectively in attempts to block out her mother�s garish laughter. It didn�t work.

Jessica threw the covers back and sat up slowly in bed. She held her breath slightly, waiting in desperation for the noise to die down. It didn�t. It only seemed to get louder. It was as if her mother�s laughter resonated from every inch of her room, taunting Jessica as it got louder and louder.

Her mind reeling, she slowly slipped out of her bed and stumbled dizzily towards her bathroom. She groped for the doorknob, her hands feeling clammy and cold. As the doorknob turned shakily beneath her grasp, she clumsily flipped on the light switch flooding the bathroom with light. The light assaulted her tired eyes and she was instinctively forced to raise a hand to shield them.

As her vision cleared slightly, she moved slowly over to the sink turning on the faucet full blast. For a few moments she stood watching the water as it swirled powerfully about the sink. Slowly she reached down, splashing her face with the cold water hoping it would soothe her nerves somewhat.

Unsteadily, she turned the faucet off, the water dripping from her face. She reached for a face towel, patting her face dry gently. She kept her eyes averted to the ground avoiding the mirror in front of her. Jessica made a point never to look in the mirror.

Growing up, whenever young Jessica looked into a mirror she would become sad. Too thin, too flat, too many bruises. She couldn�t understand why others thought she was pretty. If Jessica had ever sneaked even so much as a peek in the mirror, she would have realized that at the age of 15 she was beautiful and by 17, she had become absolutely breathtaking.

As she continued to pat her face, her eyes fell upon a large unsightly bruise covering her arm. An unfamiliar surge of unwarranted feelings came over her body just then as she stood gazing at it. Hot tears sprung to her eyes as she willed herself not to cry. She swatted at her eyes hastily, her eyes accidentally falling upon the mirror in the process.

Quickly, she averted her eyes back to the ground. As she stood there, she couldn�t quell the inexplicable feelings that overtook her body. For some strange reason, she was drawn to the mirror as if some compelling force was controlling her body.

Ever so slowly, she raised her eyes to the mirror, her body trembling as she did so. As her eyes drunk in the image before her, a low moan escaped her throat. Her blonde hair hung listlessly around her hunched shoulders. Her blue eyes were clouded with pain and red-rimmed from the lack of sleep. Jessica�s mouth was drawn in a taught line, her lips and cheeks pale and colourless. She shouldn�t have looked.

She tore her eyes from the image, sinking to her knees. Her body shook vehemently as it convulsed with heart-aching sobs. She lay there sobbing, huddled upon the cool bathroom tiles for almost an hour.

Jessica cried until she was utterly drained and there were no more tears left in her. She sat there gazing lifelessly about the bathroom for a few minutes feeling more empty and alone then she ever imagined possible.

Suddenly, Jessica couldn�t take it anymore. She had to get out. Get away. Anywhere but there would be fine. At that moment, Jessica didn�t even want to be herself. She wanted to be someone else.

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