Tiger Heart, will always win.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Tiger Heart, he won't give in, Tiger Heart, will always win. |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Stephanie, oh, Stephanie, why do you test my heart so? You know I love you, but I can never admit it. Why? Because you are so dull, and although I am also dull, I am aware of my surroundings over 15% of the time. It would never work, not even in this new world where political correctness is running rampant; they just wouldn't accept us. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Thankfully, Johnny recovered from his coma, but horrors! In his coma he had aged forty years, or this scene made him age forty years, or he got bored and put on a fake beard! Either way, I'm so sorry Johnny, I wish Superman was here so he could fly around the Earth and turn back time, however the hell that's supposed to work. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Johnny's comment: "My social security cheque is late!" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| After this scene, Jimmy the ketchup bottle never worked in Hollywood again. Last I heard he was going around India beating up pacifists. You see what Tiger Heart does to people and condiments?! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Before I had a chance to stop him, Johnny snatched up my hand and forced my first index finger into his bellybutton. I don't know why, but I bet it's Tiger Heart's fault. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Johnny's comment: "Muahahaha!" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| This scene is roughly one minute before the credits roll. In this scene Stephanie calls Eric "Tiger." You see! "Tiger Heart" wasn't just two random words the director pulled out of a hat! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Johnny had completely lost it by this scene. He fell into a quandary from which he wouldn't soon recover. Bawling and with his fists clenched, he raised his face to the stars and roared. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Johnny's comment: "Why?! Why does this film exist!? WHYEEEE?!" | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| An hour or two later, after he'd finished interrogating the gods, Johnny asked for his six pack of Carling's Special Brew that I promised him, then he went and layed in the corner of my bedroom under a couple of newspapers. I haven't managed to move him yet, but I'll give him a couple more days before I notify the homeless shelter. | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Previous Page | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Just in case Johnny Chan should happen upon this page, then it was all in good fun! Obviously Johnny Chan didn't really comment on Tiger Heart or ever speak with me because he's just too big a celebrity. Also, I might as well make the most of this opportunity: Johnny Chan, will you marry me? | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||