| The Creative Expressions of... Bill Vivrett |
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THE EXIT INTERVIEW Page 1 of 6 Like any other long career, in retrospect, teaching in the public schools for thirty-four years has been a virtual cornucopia of fun-loving and funny experiences. Imagine, if you can, that you are eavesdropping on the following exchange. You are witnessing an exit interview between a large district�s Director of Human Resources, Dr. Gary Burner, a very bright, witty, short, younger man, and his aging, hair-receding, physically fading art teacher, Will Velcro. Will, although typically absent-minded at this stage, had asked for the interview to share ideas, offer input for the future and just stick in there awhile longer. But then he forgot why he came. It was heart-rendering to note the old art teacher�s deteriorating condition, the faltering step, the squeaky voice, the shaking hands and the loss of memory. �Too many years around the rubber cement,� G.B. thought to himself. Here we go. Dr. Gary Burner, �Where should we start?� Teacher Will, �Ask me a question!� G.B., �Want to see my etchings?� W.V., �Ask me another.� G.B., �Let�s start the interview, again, but with some semblance of structure. I must first ask you to reveal some innermost feelings�in the present. Then we�ll recall past pleasant moment and finally we�ll come up to date with current teaching activities. Are you ready?� W.V., �I forgot what we were talking about.� G.B., �Never mind! Let�s get started.� Dr. G.B., �What has always been your secret goal in life?� (Flexible Mr. V. responded�) �To dance with the Rockettes (G.B. winced noticeably) or my plan B is to ride the strawberry roan.� G.B., �What has always been your most intimate fantasy?� W.V., �Picture this scenario. I am running down a quiet beach at Gulf Shores, wearing my colleague�s best chicken suit, the one with magenta tights, and I am singing �It�s a Grand Old Flag� with Ted Kennedy in drag. It just doesn�t get any better than that!� G.B., �I agree! Now tell me�any hobbies?� W.V., �Art was my hobby�till my wife found out. Now it�s the usual; silly walks, old antiques, tickling grandchildren, making faces, collecting autographed pictures of Mae West with U.S. Grant�alone together (but Custer keeps jumping between). Pop-ups are tiresome.� G.B., �Other leisure time activities?� W.V., �We watch the ant races on T.V. a lot but there�s never a clear winner.� G.B., �Sounds exhausting. Anything more relaxing?� W.V., �Well, on Saturday evening sin summer, we invites a few friends over and count the gravel in my neighbor�s drive. But if the party gets rowdy, she calls the cops.� G.B., �What does she call them? Oh, never mind! Your silliness is catching.� W.V., �Thanks. Maybe you could get a shot for that.� CONTINUED ON NEXT PAGE |
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| Updated 03.18.06 |
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