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Chapter 5
8-12-97
dear journal,
I've been really busy the last few weeks. If I didn't had to work I was with the boys. Sean and me had to caught up on everything, you would be surprised if you knew what happened in that few months. ( And no, I still didn't told him about Brian, its just I haven't the guts to do it and I hope J wont tell him, that would only cause more problems)
Because I spent almost all my free time with Sean I have seen the others too a lot, sometimes I wonder if they have a own life, lol.
They are all really nice and they love it to give me advice for my work. I'm really glad that I know people who work in the showbiz, just like me. I mean, I'm not famous or something, but I get recognized and I'm just glad I have people to share that with
I've to admit something, and since I'm already talking about him, why not now?
Its about J, I begin to like him and not liking like friends, no, I think I'm having feelings for him, like being in love.
I feel butterflies in my stomach every time I think off him and I blush every time someone mentioned his name or if he talks to me.
And that's the problem; I think he or someone else will notice it and I just don't want that.
I mean, he probably sees me as his best friends sister, nothing more, its not like in a fairy tail, that when I tell him that I love him he will take me in his strong arms and kiss me like there is no tomorrow.
I dont know how to act when he's around me. He isn't waiting for a teenage girl who loves him.
Its just.. I want to talk with someone about this, but with who?
How pathetic it may sound, I don't know anyone except for the boys here and you can understand that I wont tell them this.
I hope no1 will notice me crush on J, and maybe, maybe it will go away soon.
Love,
Valerie
Chapter 6
He�s My Brother
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