1. I once thought I saw a big grizzly bear outside of my house and it was eating out of garbage cans I went outside and spear it and as It turned out it was my grandma silly grandma, garbage is for dumps.

2. I once thought I saw a talking monkey I walked up to it and asked it a question well it wasn’t a talking monkey it was my friend Quiggly, stupid Quiggly.

3. Have you ever wondered about those stupid caps on milk bottles you take them off and milk always comes off with it, and that really makes me mad you’d think they could make ones where like coca cola would come off with it.

4. I was watching this one show once in black and white and I thought this isn’t even in color, why am I watching this? and then I remembered that they said the word swell. Man that’s swell.

5. Once when I was young and stupid my parents where driving the car and my parents got in an argument and I heard my dad cuss so I made up a song with all the cuss words I knew in it and sang it until they forgot about their argument and focused on yelling at me pretty trippy huh.

6. People are always making fun of me if I start to run in my school hallway well you know what how else are you supposed to move fast by like surfing on your pencil or something, no thanks I'd rather run thank you and for you people who do, do this pencil surfing you know what you can do with your pencil just go write yourself a stupid story about some really dumb pencil surfing guy and name it after yourself ha ha ha stupid pencil surfing.

7. God gets all the chicks. He seriously does. I asked 5 different girls who they were dating and they said God I was like jeeze, God your like popular with the females how do you do it?

8. Never ever say the name Michael Jackson at night or you will find a new freaky looking face at your window at about 7:00 sweet dreams.

9. I never saw a toy boat before until I saw this red headed boy playing with it and I walked up to him and said is that a toy boat and he said, ''Shutup.'' I never saw that kid again. He’s my best friend.

10. When taking quiz's never ever look at the clock multiple times. Just bring a watch that has the test answers under it. Its not cheating its checking your answers. Or its just cheating Yeah its just cheating but all well.