orn in the dark and mysterious kingdoms of the western midlands I have travelled far across this island in search of my spiritual homeland. Now settled in the land of the Iceni I have adopted their ways and they have adopted mine. 

Easily recognised as the tall vaguely Nordic looking one I stand firm in the warrior ranks ready to fend off the evil powers of Country & Western, Dinner Jazz, Karaoke and most vile of them all the cheesy covers band keyboardist. 

Defending the realms of musical taste can be an intense and fearful task which may explain my alarmingly un-photogenic stare, however rest assured I’m quite harmless and seldom move more than a couple of feet at a time. 

As the only member of the band to be born within living memory it is my duty to inform the others, especially Dave, of new trends and ideas, electricity for example. It is also my role to supply the musical girth, the meat, the edge, the bollocks, the loud bits, as a wise man once said, "Crank it and spank it!" 

With my spiritual guides of Jimi, Vai and Vaughan, My animal guides of the Iceni Horse and the Canary, My tribal guides Lenny, Dave, Andy, Seb, Karen, Vicky, Jackie etc, the Girl Guides and a bit of luck it is my aim to ensure the Iceni once again storm across the land, only in a nice way without all the pillaging and killing, and preferably in a car, decent food, comfy hotel would be nice, record company executives falling over themselves to ensure our every whim and fancy is catered for, adoring fans, nubile young………………………………………………………..

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