mysweetangel

My Sweet Angel
The first time I ever laid my eyes on you was September 28th 1971, oh what a wonderful moment in my life, what a brilliant feeling I got when I first saw you, it was indescribable. I saw the most perfect little blue eyed, blonde haired little boy. The bond was created in a split second, we were destined to be mother and son. You were sent here, along with Garry, David and Sara, to teach me the meaning of uncondional love, my world was complete!!! but now my world is so empty without you, I have lost my blue eyed mischievous and loving son.
If I could only see you again...... well I can`t begin to put that into words but I do know one thing there is so much I still need to tell you, the most important being that I love you with all my heart and soul, and to thank you my sweet blue eyed boy for all the love and joy you brought into my life. Boo I would not have missed loving you, knowing you and being a part of your life for anything in this world. I feel I was given the greatest honor and privilege in this world by being your mam. Son you were my dream come true, a beautiful, sweet, sensitive, caring, delightfully, if not frustratingly so, michievous young man
Son, you Garry, David and Sara, will always be the light of my life, I love you all so very much. I am so very sorry I wasn`t there when you needed me the most. You had grown into a fine young man and I felt I had done my job as your mam to the best of my ability. I raised you up to be a man and a sweet, caring, compassionate young man at that. Oh I knew that there were still dangers out there in the big wide world, but somehow the dangers weren`t so frightening anymore, you had grown up with a good head on your shoulders, but the world had its evil way and you got involved with drugs. You had a long hard battle with drug addiction, but you finally overcame the drugs and won the battle, and we were so very proud of you. You got your life back on track, you married and became a daddy, (which was what you always wanted to be) You had the most wonderful baby son , then one year later you were gone, life is so very cruel!!!!! I keep thinking that I should have been there to protect you, it is a mothers job to protect her children..... I feel as though I have let you down so badly.
I should have been there to hold you close....I should have been there when you took your last breath, I should have been there telling you how much you are loved, there are so many should have been`s, you should be here raising your son Connor, you should be here playing with him, you should be here being the daddy you always wanted to be, you should be here hearing Connor say "I love you daddy" cos he does, he picks up your photo`s and kisses you and says "love you daddy"
Do you remember how we talked about all the things you wanted to do in your life, all the things you dreamed off, all the promises you made to make Connor`s life a good life, how you were going to give him everything, he was never going to go without anything, well the only thing missing in his life, is the most important thing and that is his daddy. We just never knew how short the future was going to be did we son!!!! I remember we were so close there was nothing we couldn`t talk about, I think about them talks, all the little chats, all the laughs, even the rows we had, I never told you son how much I loved every moment spent with you, I wish I could still have them moments in my life.
I wonder now if you can still feel my love for you, do you know how much I miss you.
I AM SO VERY PROUD TO HAVE KNOWN YOU MY SON!!!!!
I AM SO VERY PROUD TO HAVE YOU AS MY SON NOW AND FOREVER!!!
I AM SO VERY PROUD TO BE YOUR MAM!!!
I WILL NEVER STOP LOVING YOU!!!
I WILL NEVER STOP MISSING YOU!!!