Miscellaneous
A boy comes running into the kitchen and says, "Mommy, mommy!  Grandpa hanged himself in the living room!"

His mother runs into the living room, and sees no one there.  Angrily, she says, "Listen, you should never lie like that to me again, do you understand?"

"I'm sorry,"  says the boy, "I was just kidding.  He hanged himself in the basement."
Back to Jokes
A man takes the day off of work to go golfing.  He's at the first hole, about to swing, when a frog sitting nearby says, "Ribbit, three iron."

The guy thinks nothing of it and goes into his back swing.  Again the frog says, "Ribbit, three iron."

So the guy decides to use the three iron.  Hey, why not.  He hits it and it's a hole-in-one.

"Wow, you must be a lucky frog."  says the guy.

"Ribbit, lucky frog."  says the frog.

So the guy takes the frog with him for the rest of the game and golfs the best game of his life.

"Ok, what next frog?"  asks the guy.

"Ribbit, Las Vegas."  replies the frog.

The guy figured, why not, it's been good so far.

So they go to Las Vegas, go to the casino, walk up to the roulette table, and the guy asks the frog, "So, what do you think?"

"Ribbit, $3000, black 3."  replies the frog.

So the guy puts $3000 on black three and hits it with 35 to 1 odds. 

So the guy gets the best room in the place, and brings the frog up there.

"You've done so much for me frog.  Is there anything I can do to repay you?" asks the guy.

"Ribbit, kiss me."  replies the frog.

So he does, and the frog turned into a beautiful 15 year old girl.

"And THAT, your honor, is how she got into my room."
A long haired youth was hitch hiking on the highway.  He got picked up by a mean looking trucker.  After riding about 30 miles in silence the youth finally said, "Well aren't you going to ask me?"

"Ask you what?"  replied the trucker.

"If I'm a boy or a girl..." replied the youth.

"Don't matter,"  replied the trucker, "I'm gonna do ya anyway."
What comes after 69?

Mouthwash.
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