Got a story joke send it here.
[email protected]
Story Jokes
Bad Luck
A guy had been slipping in and out of a coma for a couple weeks before he had the strengh to talk to his wife who had been at his bedside every day. They guy looks at her and says "I remember the time I got fired and you stood beside me and helped me. When I got shot you were by my side. When I lost our house you were still by my side. Heck even when the bussiness I started went under you were still beside me, and no that my health was failing you are beside me all the time. You know what hunny"
"What's that?" asked the wife
"I think you're bad luck"
Shoe repair
This couple were cleaning their attic when they came across a shoe repair ticket showing they haven't yet picked up their shoes 20 years ago. They decided to see if they were still there so they went to the shoe repair store and asked about the shoes on the stubb. The clerk says "one minute" and goes back into the storage room with the stub. He comes back and handed them back the stubb and calmly said "they'll be ready Friday"
When I was your age I'd.......
A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon. He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in 9 holes before he had to head home.
Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.
Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.
To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly. He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.
Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot. There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball, directly between his ball and the green.
After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."
With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.
The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only 3 feet tall."
Top 10 Signs a co-worker is a Hacker
10 You ticked him off once and your next phone bill was $20,000
9 He's won the Publisher's Clearing House sweepstakes 3 years running
8 When asked for his phone number, he gives it in hex
7 Seems strangely calm whenever the office LAN goes down
6 Somehow gets HBO on his PC at work
5 Mumbled, "Oh, puh-leeez" 95 times during the movie "The Net"
4 Massive RRSP contribution made in half-cent increments
3 Video dating profile lists "public-key encryption" among turn-ons
2 When his computer starts up, you hear, "Good Morning, Mr. President."
The Number One Sign Your Co-worker Is a Computer Hacker...
1 You hear him murmur, "Let's see you use that Visa card now, dumbass."
Big Texas
There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas.
When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom door, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident. Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"