POLICE JOKES
The Blonde and the cop
Returning home froms work, a blonde was shocked to find her house ransacked and burglarized. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The Police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"
Things not to say to a police officer.
I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer
Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
Hey, you must've been doing about 125 mph to stay with me! Good Job!
I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to become a police officer.
I was going to be a cop but I decided to finish High School instead.
Bad Cop! No Doughnut!
You're not gonna check the trunk are you?
Gee, that gut sure does inspire confidence.
Didn't I see you get your butt kicked on Cops?
So, uh, you on the take, or what?
Gee, officer! That's terrific! The last officer only gave me a warning too!
I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there is no other car around-that's how far ahead of me they are
I'm surprised you stoped me! Dunkin Doughnuts has a 3 for 1 sale!
No I didn't know I was going that fast, the needle stops at 110
No, oddi, oddic, lucifer... I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
Back off Barney, I've got a piece.
Want to race to the station, Sparky?
I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
On the way to the station, what's say we pick us up a six pack?
You'll never get those cuffs on my you wuss!!!
Come on and write the ticket, the bar closes in twenty minutes!
Hey, wasn't your daughter on Second Avenue?
How long is this going to take? Your girlfriend is expecting me.
What do you use those rubber gloves for?
SUBMIT JOKE HERE