| Voices. Voices from afar. Someone was calling his name. He willed his mind to shut them out, however they persisted. He became aware of feeling cold, not just a chill where one would shiver, moreover an iciness that had frozen his bones, seemed to freeze the very core of his body. He closed his eyes tighter and tried to ignore the persistent calling. Kevin? Yes that meant something, somewhere in his mind he recognised the name. �I think we should get a doctor, we can�t wake him, he�s obviously concussed.� A familiar voice said. �I think we should get him inside; it�d be a miracle if he hasn�t got frostbite. Any idea how long he�s been out here?� another familiar voice spoke. �God knows. I don�t know what maggot he got in his head to go wandering off like this, but he�s been gone from the party for ages. You know what a stubborn idiot he is at times Tim.� �Tim?� why do I know that name? Tim? Kevin? Why are these voices so familiar?� he asked himself. �Yeah I do Brian.� the other voice answered. Brian, that was familiar as well. Why do I feel so cold? Why does my heart ache so? �I�ve had plenty of years to study his stubbornness.� The one called Tim said to the one called Brian. �He�s got a lump the size of Kentucky on the back of his head, might knock some sense into him, what d�ya reckon?� Tim breathed out a relieved laugh. He felt gentle fingers explore the back of his head, ouch that hurt. Hurt a lot. Why did his head ache? �Shall I get Aunt Ann? She�s with mum inside waiting to see if we�ve found him.� Brian asked Tim. A voice called from the shadows. �Have you found him Tim? Now I know that voice, it was familiar, comforting, a dim distant memory from a long time ago of him being sick and this voice comforting him, making him feel better. �Yeah mum, we�re over here. Looks like Kev fell backwards over this log and hit his head. He�s out of it though, he�s probably got concussion, and he�s going to have a hell of a headache when he wakes up. That�s if we can thaw the silly idiot out.� There was a lot of affectionate relief in the voice. He felt someone kneel close beside him and a warm hand softly stroke his forehead. He felt warm lips follow where the hand was seconds before. �Silly boy, wandering off like that, giving us all a fright, what am I to do with you Kevin Scott Richardson?� Kevin Scott? Scotty? Again that overwhelming feeling of pain and loss filled him. He felt himself being moved. He could feel a rush of blood in his head, it was painful and the darkness was receding from his mind. There was a bright light hurting his eyes, people, voices, he felt his body twitch. He could move his arm. �Hang on, I think he�s coming to.� Movement stilled, he could feel his eyes fluttering and a blur of faces appeared in a haze in front of his eyes. Straining against the light he tried to bring the faces into focus. Gradually his eyes adjusted to the darkness, a flashlight he thought it was, was dancing about the faces, faces he recognised. There was mother, his brother Tim, his cousin Brian and various other people milling about. �Welcome back to the land of the living little brother.� Tim grinned, the relief in his voice obvious. �What happened?� Kevin croaked as he struggled to sit up. �Oww, my head hurts.� He felt gingerly at the base of his skull. He looked around, there was one person missing. �Where�s Harrie?� Tim, Brian and Ann looked at each other bemused. �Harrie?� Ann asked uncertainly. �Yeah Harrie.� Kevin looked at their blank faces. �Harriet! My wife.� �Son, dearest I think you�ve banged your head and you aren�t thinking clearly, you aren�t married Kevin.� Ann gently told him. �I am, I am married. I am married to Harriet and we have three children, your grandchildren.� Kevin insisted, but somewhere deep in his heart he sensed the truth, sensed his loss. �We have three kids�..� his voice trailed off into a whisper as he read by the torchlight the truth on the three faces closest to him. Ann gazed at her youngest son sadly and shook her head. Her fingers gently reached out to caress her son�s cheek. �Kevin you�ve had a fall, we think you might be slightly concussed, plus being nearly frozen half to death. You must have been dreaming.� �I wasn�t mum, I wasn�t.� Kevin could feel his voice crack and the tears start. He bit his lip to halt the flow. �I wasn�t dreaming.� he screamed in his mind. How could all that be a dream. Harriet had been as real to him as the family and friends now gathered in front of him. Tim and Brian squatted either side of Kevin. �Can you stand up Kev?� Brian asked his soft blue eyes were full of concern. Here was his normal level-headed cousin suffering some sort of delusion. Brian thought Kevin must have been suffering from shock, maybe some sort of hypothermia as well. �I dunno� maybe. I�m cold, so cold.� Kevin felt his teeth start to chatter and his body was racked with uncontrollable shivering. Someone threw a coat about his shoulders as Tim and Brian hooked Kevin�s arms about their shoulders. Stiffly Kevin was hauled upright and unsteadily they carried their burden back inside the house. *************** �Let me call a doctor please Kevin.� His mother pleaded, she glanced at her sister in law Jackie, Brian and Tim to add their support to the idea. �I�m alright mum, don�t fuss. It�s just a bump on the head. I just want to be left alone.� Kevin muttered listlessly. He turned his head away and stared blankly at the wall. �Kevin�.� Ann sat down beside him on the bed. Seeing he was not paying attention she picked up his hand and looked about helplessly. �Kevin you�ve suffered concussion, you really shouldn�t be left alone you know. We�re just worried about you.� Brian�s mother came into Kevin�s view. He looked up and she took a step back at the desolation in his eyes. �I�m ok Aunt Jackie.� He brought his hand up and ran his fingers tiredly through his hair. Surprised to find it short and not long as it had been in his other existence, he ran exploratory fingers across his face. No longer clean-shaven, he discovered the roughness of a goatee on his chin and upper lip, he sighed, it seemed the longish hair and the clean-shaven face belonged to his alter ego. �I�m just tired. Tired and cold.� He did not add heartbroken. �I just want to be left alone ok?� �But Kev, look little bro�. You were a bit delusional outside�� at the furious look in Kevin�s eyes he halted, glanced at his mother then shrugged his shoulders and gave up. �Stubborn idiot.� Tim thought. Ann caught Jackie�s eye as she stood up. �Ok Kevin, we�ll leave you be. Get some rest.� Kevin did not answer; he just nodded and did not look up when he heard the door close behind them as they left the room. Kevin sighed and rested his head in his hands. �Harriet� he whispered out loud. �Have you been taking drugs?� a voice asked into the silence. Kevin�s head spun around. �Brian? I thought you�d gone.� �Well have you?� Brian pushed for an answer. �Don�t be stupid Brian, of course not.� Kevin snapped, his eyes flashing fire, angry that he was not left alone and in the peace he so desperately craved. �Good.� His cousin smiled as he sat uninvited on the bed. �I had to ask.� Brian fiddled with the bed cover. �Too much red wine perhaps?� Kevin did not answer; he hunched his shoulder away from his cousin. �That was quite a knock on your head Kev, understandable that you might have thought while unconscious �. Well dreamt that which you might be longing for.� Brian persisted in wanting to get Kevin to talk. Brian knew that letting someone who had suffered concussion sleep was not a good thing. If the bang on the head was hard enough, it was quite possible that there might be some cerebral bleeding. No letting Kevin sleep was not a good thing, especially when his cousin was too stubborn to see a doctor. So Brian resolved to keep his stubborn cousin awake by talking to him, all night if necessary. It made for an interesting Christmas Eve, Brian thought ruefully. �I didn�t dream it Bri� it happened.� Kevin muttered defiantly. �Ok.� Brian drawled slowly. He was beginning to wonder if the knock on Kevin�s head had done some damage. �You do realise that you fell backwards over a log and banged your head don�t you Kevin?� �So it would seem Brian, I have the lump on my head to prove it, but that�s not what happened.� Kevin stood up and begun pacing about. �I was feeling fed up, depressed, all this merriment was making me feel unhappy. I went outside to get a breath of fresh air� didn�t want to put a damper on the party you know�. Though it seems I did I suppose, not my intention though.� Brian was silent as his cousin continued his pacing. Suddenly Kevin stilled. �Would you think I was nuts if I told you what happened�. What really happened?� Brian shrugged his shoulders and said with a half smile. �Do you want my opinion now or later?� At least he had Kevin talking, and while talking Kevin could not fall asleep. Kevin against his will found his lips twitching. �I�ll leave that for you to decide cuz.� He let out a sigh and went to rest his head against the window. It was cool against his skin; taking a deep breath he gathered his thoughts. Brian waited in silence. When Kevin finally began his tale, he did not know whether to suspend belief or think his cousin had really run mad and lost his mind. ******************** �So you see that�s it� Kevin sighed as he despondently flung himself down upon the bed. � I would give anything to go back, anything.� Fidgeting, he rested his hands behind his head and lay back on the pillows. Forgetting his injury he yelped in pain and sat up and irritably shoved a pillow behind his shoulder instead. Brian eyed his cousin warily. �That�s some tale Kevin.� �It happened Brian.� Kevin insisted. Brian shrugged non-comittaly. He did not know what to believe; however it was not, like Kevin to be so fanciful. � So what are you going to do then? It�s not like you can just go back, flit through time.� �I know. Damn it Brian I was happy, happier than I�ve ever been. There was none of this merry go round of a life we lead, it was normal. I had a wife who loved me, a family�. And I loved her. I loved Harriet.� Brian sighed. �There is no normal with the life we lead Kev, but it�s the life you chose. You walked away from normality to follow a dream, you found your dream, not many people can say that can they? We pay a price for this dream Kevin, we don�t live the everyday normal, we live our normal.� �I know, I know.� Kevin ran his hand through his hair making it more messed up than it was already. �I know it�s ungrateful of me to moan and whine, but I�ve just wanted� hell� I just want someone to come home too. I guess I just want someone to love me for me� not what they see or think I am. Just me Brian, just me, the slow talking country boy that just happens to sing for a living.� Brian nodded sympathetically. He knew exactly where his cousin was coming from. �I know Kev, I know. Have you any idea what Harriet�s doing now? Does she still live locally? Is she unmarried?� �I dunno Bri, do you think she might be single, living close?� Kevin asked hopefully. �Maybe worth finding out eh? Oh I know there�s been other woman in you life Kev, but there�s never been another you�ve cared for like Harriet has there? And for this thing, dream, whatever it was that happened with Harrie in the picture, maybe that�s telling you something.� �Maybe.� Kevin stood up and felt the weight of doubt press hard on his heart. He shoved frustrated hands deep in his jean pockets as he began his restless pacing again. Brian watched silently unable to offer any suggestions, he glanced at his shoes as he tried to think of a solution to offer his cousin when Kevin yelped out a startled exclamation making Brian jump. �What is it?� Kevin was waving a piece of paper in front of Brian�s eyes. �Look� look it�s Scotty�s drawing.� Kevin shook his head at his cousin�s blank look and waved the paper again. �The drawing Scotty gave to me in my other existence�. It�s proof it happened.� Brian snatched the paper from Kevin�s hand. �Hey careful.� His cousin shrieked. �Ok..ok hold your horses�oh my god�.how� what?� Brian stuttered and looked up into a pair of triumphant green eyes. �Believe me now?� �Yes by god. Kevin�this is too weird.� Brian breathed as he looked in wonder at the piece of paper in his hand. �Yes it is, but I�m still trying to work out whether it�s good weird or bad weird. Good that I rediscovered the love of my life, bad that I had to leave her again, but I�m happy to know I�m not losing it.� Kevin felt himself grin ruefully despite his sadness. Brian grinned back. �Yeah, I�m also glad I don�t have a lunatic for a cousin.� �I�m going to find Harriet.� Kevin decided, his green eyes resolute. �Good plan.� Brian approved. �Tonight.� Kevin added with a raised eyebrow and a determined look. �Ok I�m revising the lunatic bit� tonight Kevin, that�s crazy, it�s Christmas Eve.� Brian reasoned with outstretched hands. �So?� Kevin opened Brian�s wardrobe and began rummaging about. �So? SO? It�s flipping Christmas Eve Kevin, where are you honestly going to start looking for her? Hey that�s my coat.� �I can�t be bothered to try and find mine. I�m going to her parent�s house. There could be a chance she�s there for Christmas.� He shrugged himself into Brian�s coat. It was too tight and way too small. �You look like an idiot in that� let me find yours.� Brian offered trying to stall his self willed cousin from any hasty actions. �Nope, don�t have the time. Where�s your car keys?� Kevin imperiously held out his hand. Brian dug into his pocket and tossed them to his cousin. Kevin opened the bedroom door, surreptitiously glanced around to make sure no one was looking, he anticipated an argument if anyone found him. He disappeared into the hallway. �What have I done?� Brian slapped his head with his hand. �I�ve given my car keys to a concussed lunatic who�s going to drive around on a freezing cold night before Christmas looking for a long lost love����.. And I gave him my keys� ok who�s the lunatic here?� He flung open his wardrobe door and dragged out another coat. He flung himself around the bedroom door dragging on his coat at a run. �Hey wait up Kevin; I�m coming with you.� Brian barely made it to the garage as Kevin was jumping into the driver�s seat. �Stop�. I�ll drive Kev.� Brian gasped as he clutched at the car door. �I can drive.� Kevin halted by the driver�s side door. �Yeah I know you can drive doofus�. But you forget that you�ve had a bump on the head, time travelled, visited an alter universe, whatever�. This time I�m driving.� Kevin looked like he was going to protest; Brian could read that jutting jaw. �It�s my car Kev, my car� my coat, my party�. I drive or I�m calling Aunt Ann and my mother out here.� Brian played his trump card. Kevin reluctantly conceded the point. �Ok you win, but if you drive like an old woman I�m going to hit you.� �Yeah yeah�. Just get in doofus. Drive like An old woman indeed.� Brian muttered under his breath as his cousin strapped himself in. This was turning into one strange Christmas Brian thought as he zapped open the garage door. He wondered if he had stumbled into Kevin�s dream, it certainly felt weird enough. |