| �Are you sure this is it?� Brian asked wearily as he turned his head towards his cousin. �Yeap, I�m sure�. This time.� Kevin answered hopefully. �It had better be Kevin, this is the last house we try then we go home. I�ve felt like an idiot knocking on all these doors. You told me you could remember where Harriet�s parents lived.� � I thought I could�. Must have been that knock on my head.� Kevin gave his cousin a lopsided boyish grin as he slammed the car door shut. �I�ll give you a knock on the head.� Brian muttered after his retreating back. It was freezing cold and it had started snowing again and here was he, spending his Christmas Eve driving around with his mad cousin when he should be at home enjoying what was left of his party and the night before Christmas. �You owe me Kevin.� Brian grumbled as he fiddled with the cd player. A light flickered on in the porch. Hopefully this would be promising Brian thought as he flicked through the cd. Finding a song he liked, he considered the house; it was pleasant, welcoming and picturesque as the snowflakes floated like thistledown in the moonlight. He waited anxiously as the front door opened and a golden light from inside the doorway cast its shadows over the porch and his cousin waiting there hopefully. Looking up to the heaven�s Brian sent a quick prayer hoping for a result this time. He craned his neck around to try and get a better view of what was going on up there on the porch. Were things looking promising? ************************ Kevin nervously rang the doorbell. Despite his bravado in front of Brian, he was seriously worried and the fiasco in remembering exactly where Harriet�s parents lived had not exactly covered him in glory. �It must have been that knock on the head, or travelling between alternative existence�s, that was bound to upset anyone�s equilibrium.� Kevin thought wryly as he waited. He could hear footsteps in the hallway and nervously he gulped and swallowed. What if this was the right house, what would he say by way of explanation? It was not every day that one turned up on a past love�s doorstep to ask if she would not mind rekindling a romance long dead and maybe even longer forgotten. The seconds waiting for the door to open seemed like hours, his nerves were so on edge as he waited for those tortuous minutes. Kevin could see a shadow through the frosted glass in the front door. Suddenly the door was open and a man in his late fifties answered. �Hello, may I help you.� The soft accented man asked. He was tall, well built with a beard and a head of hair tinted with a hint of grey. He possessed a pair of piecing green eyes and Kevin recognised those eyes immediately. It was Harriet�s father. Kevin swallowed and opened his mouth but no sound emerged. He felt like a tongue-tied teenager with sweaty palms experiencing his first date. He tried again and all the sound that he made was a squawking from his vocal chords, he, Kevin Richardson, a singer who made a living from using his voice could only manage a squeak. Kevin wished for a hole the size of Kentucky to appear and swallow him, he felt like such a fool. �It�s Kevin isn�t it? Kevin Richardson?� Harriet�s father enquired as he strained forward to get a better look at the man standing on his porch. Kevin nodded and stuck out his hand. �Yes sir.� His voice cracked and his heart sank, he was not making a good impression here. He was mentally cursing his traitorous nerves and voice box. �Yes sir, it�s me Kevin.� That was better; he had finally gained control over his wayward voice. �Merry Christmas Mr Beadman.� �Merry Christmas Kevin�.umm�can I help you?� Ronald Beadman looked expectantly at the young man in front of him. �Er� yeah sir� see, well sir, umm see� I was wondering�. It�s like this�� Kevin hesitantly wondered how he was going to ask this man about his daughter when a fair haired woman with a baby on her hip made her way down the stairs in the hallway. She pulled up suddenly with an uncertain look that quickly turned to shock, it flashed expressively across her pretty face at the sight of the stranger standing in the dim glow of the porch light. Kevin watched fascinated as her face registered surprise at seeing who was talking to her father. The way her cheeks flushed pink and then paled to a ghostly white, the way her pale green eyes, hesitantly flickered from him to her father trying to make sense of who had conjured up this apparition in the form of his person, and why now. The way she unconsciously ran her tongue nervously across her lips in a gesture to him as familiar as the sun rising each day. The quick skittish hand movements as with the fingers of her free hand she pushed back a lock of hair that had flopped over her eyes while adjusting the baby to a more comfortable position on her hip. Kevin�s eyes never missed a second of each familiar mannerism that he was so acutely aware of and accustomed too. He longed to rush over and take her in his arms, to make amends, to tell her they could start afresh, that there was time, a chance for them if they chose to take it, that it was not too late, but then reality hit him like a bullet between the eyes. She was carrying a baby in her arms. A baby! His fantasy world in those few seconds came crashing down like a house built upon wet sand. Then she spoke. Her voice as ever was full and melodious, rich as the finest velvet, but with underlying husky tones that added depth and warmth to her speech. His name fell from her lips and it was like music to his heart, however it was a bittersweet moment when he knew all his hopes and dreams were as elusive as trying to grasp and keep a snowflake within his hand. �Kevin?� Harriet uttered unsure that her eyes were not deceiving her. Her father took a step away from the door and glanced quickly at his daughter with concerned eyes as she walked tentatively towards them. �Kevin, is that really you?� she asked as she came to a stand beside her father. The baby wriggled and she absently handed the child to her father. �Come in� don�t stand outside in the cold, you�ll catch the death of a cold.� Kevin froze, the implications of seeing Harriet with a baby was not lost on him. �I�. I can�t, Brian�s in the car waiting. I just�. I just�. Well, it doesn�t matter now. I guess I�m way too late�. I�m sorry to bother you all, especially tonight and all that�.I guess maybe I�ll see you around.� He spun on heel and bolted down the snow-covered path, his feet crunching in the icy flakes as he tried to get away from the house and Harriet as quickly as possible. He closed his eyes and cursed himself for a fool. �Of course she�d be married, she wouldn�t wait around for you to suddenly appear like prince charming out of the blue, just when you�ve realised you�ve loved her all along. Despite you leaving her to follow your dream, you surely didn�t think she would make a life for herself, you�re a frigging idiot Kev, stupid, stupid, stupid.� he raged inwardly, his emotions a tumultuous whirlpool within his breast. He did not hear Harriet�s call or her warning. ************************* Harriet looked bemusedly at her father. �What on earth was all that about?� she asked as she turned back to watch Kevin�s back retreat down the pathway. Ronald Beadman shrugged, still clutching his grandchild he told her. �I have no idea Harrie, he just stood there muttering incoherently then he wished me a Merry Christmas. Funny, I used to like Kevin, you don�t think he�s gone a bit loopy do you?� Harriet chuckled and scratched her head. �Kevin? Not likely, but I guess one never knows. I had better go find out what he wanted.� She thought aloud wistfully. �He looked rather like a lost puppy don�t you think? Take Andy inside Dad, I�ll be right back. KEVIN.� She called after his retreating back. It was a dark night but Harriet had enough illumination from the porch light to see Kevin muttering to himself and not see the small bush in his way as he tramped across the snow covered garden. �Kevin look out�� she shouted out a warning but it was too late. Kevin in his haste to leave was not looking where he was going and had tripped over the small shrub. Before Kevin realised it, he was face down in the snow. Trying not to laugh, for her sense of humour was rather on the black side and she often found the strangest things funny, Harriet scooted out of the door and fled down the pathway to his aid. Heedless of her clothing, she flung herself on her knees down beside him in the snow. ******************* Brian was fidgeting about in the car, he was cold and he was fed up, and after the night�s drama with Kevin he found he was quite tired and his cousin was taking an unconscionable amount of time getting down to business. His bored finger idly trailed a pattern on the icy window. It was so cold. He blew into his hands, wishing he had thought to put on his gloves. �Blast Kevin and his wacky ideas. My aunt and my mother are going to kill me when they find out I�ve let him caper across town looking for Harriet. If this isn�t the house I�m taking Kevin home.� He grumbled miserably. Through the patterns Brian had drawn on his car window he noticed his cousin bolt quickly away from the front door of the house. �Good, we can finally go home to a warm bed.� Brian thought perking up, and then he saw the imminent disaster. He opened his car door to shout a warning but it was too late. His cousin�s arms and legs flailed about helplessly until he hit the snow face down. �Great!� Brian exclaimed. �Another flipping head injury to add to the other one, I wonder where he�s going to end up this time?� He slammed the car door behind him, scrunched up his eyes against the cold snow flurries and opened the gate in a rush to help his hapless cousin. Brian skidded to a halt; he looked down to find Harriet already kneeling beside a groaning Kevin. She was trying gamely to suppress her giggles and not quite succeeding. �Hello Brian, long time no see eh? Merry Christmas.� Harriet spluttered finally giving way to her laughter. Her hands were busily trying to turn Kevin over. Brian found himself grinning and kneeling down opposite Harriet. His cousin was spitting and coughing face down in the snow, he helped Harriet turn Kevin over. �So do you know what all this is about, why Kevin has appeared on my doorstep out of the blue?� Harriet asked as she dusted the snow off Kevin�s spluttering face. Brian did not hear anything in her voice to sound like she was upset, in fact she sounded amused. However, he thought it best to let his cousin explain matters. �Umm, well sort of.� Brian hedged. Harriet just looked curious. �Will someone please get me up?� An indignant voice muttered huffily through a mouthful of snow as his arms struggled to push his weight up off the ground. �What�s that? Don�t talk with your mouth full Kevin.� Harriet�s eyes danced and Brian had to bite his lip to stop laughing; he was not sure just how much of a sense of humour Kevin had left after the night�s activities but it was obvious Harriet found Kevin�s predicament amusing. She reached down and with Brian�s help; they hauled Kevin up into a sitting position. Kevin face was a picture of mortification. He tried to look as dignified as he could under these circumstances. He stiffly drew himself up and managed to get on his feet. Brian thought it was about time to beat a hasty, but dignified retreat. �Um� I�ll be waiting in the car. I guess you two want a moment alone huh?� However his words fell upon deaf ears, he found that Harriet and Kevin were looking at each other with an odd sort of intensity. Brian thought he was backing away unnoticed but he heard Harriet amused drawl. �Watch out for that bush Brian.� Brian�s shoulders shook with silent laughter as he sidestepped the bush that had been his cousin�s downfall and made his way back to his car. He just hoped that the couple staring so intently at each other might be able to work things out. ********************* �That wasn�t funny.� Kevin eyes swept downwards, he said the first thing that sprang to mind and his pride was injured. He could feel his heart beating fit to burst and he did not trust himself to look at Harriet. There she was, standing so close all he had to do was reach out and touch her, but for one thing, she was married. �It was funny, mainly because it was so unlike you. You�re normally so suave and sophisticated, cool and collected Kevin.� Kevin suspected Harriet of teasing, he glanced up and found her watching him, and he was right. Her eyes twinkled in the moonlight. �Am I, I�ve never thought about it?� He replied with a sense of injured dignity. �Yes, always, well mostly.� Harriet smiled wistfully to herself. �I�ve followed your career over the years, you�ve done well for yourself. Just as I knew you would.� Before he could stop himself he blurted out. �You had a baby in your arms Harrie.� A flicker of confusion flashed in her eyes at the strange convoluted turn of his conversation. �Yeah Andy, he�s a doll, so cute�.� �I didn�t know you had a baby Harrie� I would never have come here tonight if I�d have known� I guess I didn�t think you�d be married.� Kevin muttered disconsolately. He miserably kicked at the snow with his shoe and examined the damage imperturbability. �But I�m not married Kevin, I never have been.� Harriet touched his arm lightly. She wondered what had brought all this on, the strange visit and his appearance on her doorstep after all these years. �But the baby�� Kevin blinked down at her, his face a picture of confusion, her grip on his arm tightened. �You don�t have to be married to have a baby Kevin.� She told him. However, she was just as bewildered by his train of thought. �But you�d need to be in a relationship surely.� He persisted. �I guess so, but I�m not in an relationship.� She looked intently into his eyes, and then suddenly the light dawned. �Ohhh, ohhh I see, I think.�.I think we�ve been at cross purposes here Kevin. Andy is my nephew, he�s my sister�s baby, not mine.� A light of hope flickered in Kevin�s eyes. His hand covered Harriet�s that was still resting on his arm. �Can I tell you that I�m really glad about that?� Then he thought that statement needed an explanation. �I mean glad that you�re not married, not that you�re not a mother, just that�.� He heard Harriet laugh softly and he stopped talking and looked closely at her to see what she found amusing. �Just the same old Kevin, it�s always took you forever to spit out what you want to say.� She softened her words with a smile, and then she shivered. �Look Kevin, it�s absolutely freezing out here and I don�t feel like getting pneumonia for Christmas, how about we go inside, have a warm drink and then you can tell me why you�re here on this bitterly cold Christmas Eve.� �It�s a long story Harrie.� Kevin warned her. �Somehow I thought it might be.� Her lips twisted upwards with a wry smile and Kevin desperately wanted to kiss her. She pointed in the direction of the house. �Shall we go inside?� Kevin nodded and started to follow and then he remembered his cousin sitting in the car. �Wait a minute Harrie, Brian is in the car waiting, I can�t leave him out in the cold. I�ll tell him to go home and I�ll get a taxi home later.� �Ok, I�ll wait for you on the porch.� She watched as he made his way over to the car, still none the wiser about Kevin�s strange appearance. *************** Harriet and Kevin looked awkwardly at each other over the kitchen table, two cups of coffee sat untouched as its aroma wafted upwards unnoticed by either them. Both parties were acutely aware of the presence of Harriet�s family in the nearby lounge room. Doubtless they were curious about his unexpected appearance on their doorstep and the intrusion it had caused into a family�s Christmas celebrations. Kevin�s every nerve ending was physically aware of Harriet�s presence sitting across from him. She was fiddling with a ring on her finger; a gesture Kevin knew was from nervousness. �How about�.� She started to ask. �How about�.� He offered to explain. They halted; both smiled nervously, their eyes locking across the table. Kevin could have screamed with the tension in the air, however he thought it was about time he faced the situation. �Ok Harriet, here�s the story� all I ask is you suspend disbelief for a while. I swear, I�m not nuts, though a few people might argue with me about that.� He caught her eye and smiled ruefully. She returned his smile uncertainly and settled in to listen as Kevin continued to explain the events of this weird and somewhat wacky night. Throughout Harriet listened attentively, interrupting occasionally to ask pertinent questions. Smiling with amusement to find that she was the mother of three children. Harriet told Kevin straight faced that she had always wanted to be the mother of two hellions for sons but she rather hoped that the daughter would be a tad more circumspect. Kevin glanced up and suspected her of irony but her face betrayed nothing but polite interest in his tale, her eyes though, now they studied him watchfully as she sat listening with her chin resting in her hand. Kevin concluded his tale and leant back in his chair observing Harriet�s reaction to it. She did not move a muscle, she sat as still as a statue but her eyes bored into his and he could feel his skin flush from the intensity of her gaze. �Interesting phenomenon Kevin and a very intriguing story.� Harriet�s eyes fluttered downwards and she began fiddling with her ring again. Not looking up she said quietly. �However all of this doesn�t quite exist in reality does it? It could have been a dream.� �Apart from Scott�s drawing that I found in my pocket, yeah it all could have been a dream, but it wasn�t Harrie� that�s why I�m here.� Kevin sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, and found himself still surprised at its shortness. Giving his head a small shake, he continued. � Why I�m here tonight making an absolute fool of myself because I had a glimpse of a life we two could have, if we choose to take charge of our futures. I just refuse to believe all that happened to me tonight was a mind trick of wishful thinking, it was all too real.� His hand reached out across the table and hesitantly captured Harriet�s free hand, he gave it a gentle squeeze. �All too long ago I made a choice, I walked a road and on that road I found what I was looking for, only to find that at the end of my journey I had left behind my heart. I should have trusted you to walk that road with me Harriet but I didn�t. I couldn�t see past my own desires, my own dreams.� Harriet looked up and Kevin could see her eyes were sad with reflection. �I also had my choices Kev and I chose to stay behind. I knew your dream wasn�t my dream Kevin, I would have only held you back. I would have been a weight about your shoulders and eventually you would have cut me loose anyway.� Her smile was full of regrets but full of the knowledge that she had made the choice she thought right. �If we had continued on as we were, it wouldn�t have worked, not then, it wasn�t our time.� �And now?� Kevin asked hopefully with a raised eyebrow. Harriet shrugged and her eyes were neutral, promising nothing. All this was rather sudden and unexpected and she had yet to come to terms with Kevin�s sudden arrival on her doorstep, let alone his hinting that he would like to start afresh with her. She needed to think about this. �I really don�t know Kevin.� Kevin looked crestfallen and disappointed at Harriet�s reaction, and then a thought hit him. �Do you have anyone in your life at the moment?� �I really don�t think that it�s any of your business do you?� Harriet snapped defensively, then realising she had been abrupt she quickly apologised. �I�m sorry Kevin that was rude of me.� Kevin squirmed uncomfortably in his seat. � I deserved that Harrie, you were right. It was none of my business and I had no right to ask you such a personal question.� He reluctantly pushed back his chair and stood up musing his hair about with a restless hand. �I gave up that right a long time ago didn�t I?� Harriet hesitated as if she was about to say something but she glanced downwards as if she decided against it. Her mind was a whirlpool of turmoil and she did not want to give Kevin false hopes or expectations or make any promises she could not keep. Although she had always loved him, she did not know if time had changed things between them, she knew you could not turn back the clock. Harriet�s hair shielded her face so Kevin was unable to read her mind or get a sense of her thoughts. His heart sank as he sensed that Harriet was unwilling to rush into any decision, at least not tonight and he had been so hopeful and full of enthusiasm that he had pushed any doubts aside. Kevin realised that he might have been expecting too much of Harriet, after all it had been his alter existence and a lifestyle that he has so fell in love with tonight�s experience, not hers. He sighed, raised his hand as if he was going to say something but then let it drop helplessly to his side. �I guess I should be going; I�ve intruded on you and your family for long enough tonight.� Harriet�s head snapped up and for the life of her she could not find the words to tell him to stay. Kicking herself inside she heard herself ask calmly. �Can I ring a taxi for you?� Kevin�s face was impassive and unreadable but she knew by the slouch of his shoulders that he was bereft of hope. �No thanks Harrie, I think I�ll walk for a bit.� He gave her a wan smile and picked up Brian�s coat of the back of his chair. As he shrugged himself into its tight fitting folds, he heard her say gruffly. �But it�s freezing outside Kevin�.� �It doesn�t matter Harrie, I could use a walk, clear the cobwebs from my mind you know. I have my cell phone with me if I need a taxi but it�s not that far to Brian�s place really.� Kevin told her, but he did not really care about the cold. The winter�s night was as frozen as his heart felt at that moment until reality would make it shatter like ice into a million pieces. Kevin wondered if he would ever be happy again. �I�ll see you out then.� As she stood up to face Kevin, Harriet�s voice was almost a whisper. Inside her heart, she screamed at herself to stop him from leaving but the words would not come. He raised his hand to halt her, knowing he could not possibly face the farewell. �It�s ok Harriet, I�ll see myself out.� She started to move towards the door but as he shook his head, her steps faltered and she halted. Their eyes locked and Kevin could see the unshed tears and the desperate sign�s of mixed emotions that flittered across her expressive face. Harriet looked away from Kevin�s intense scrutiny and Kevin seized that moment to leave the room silently. �Merry Christmas Harrie.� With an almost inaudible click of the door, Kevin�s soft words hung heavily on the air. Wretchedly she moved towards window overlooking the back garden. With a heavy heart, she berated herself for her silence. �Why didn�t you take the chance Harriet Beadman? What have you to lose? Nothing but the man you�ve loved all your life, the thought came unbidden into her mind. She rested her head against the window and in frustration tapped her forehead against the cold frosty pane a few times. � Stupid, stupid, stupid.� She muttered miserably to herself. �You�re such an idiot for letting him walk away Harriet.� Remorse flooded through her. What if Kevin had been right, what if his experience tonight had shown him a glimpse of a possible future life? Would it be so bad? A flash of lights sparkled in the night sky caught her attention; the swirl of colours twisted and writhed about in a wild dance. Suddenly the lights were so bright it hurt her eyes to watch them and Harriet had to look away from the glittering, glimmering glow that shone incandescently among the rich velvety blackness of the winter sky. The beauty of this spectacular display of Mother Nature�s beauty filled her full of optimism and before she could change her mind or her decision to follow Kevin she bolted out the kitchen door banging it open with a crash, only stopping to grab her coat on the way out the front door. Her father stuck his head around the lounge room door with a look of bewilderment on his face at the sound of the crashing door. The happy sounds of a family within filtered out into the hallway as he watched Harriet take off at a run through the front door. Shaking a bemused head at the night�s strange events, he closed the door and rejoined his family. Harriet was a big girl and should know what she was doing he thought with a smile as he picked up his grandson Andy and besides he used to be rather fond of Kevin, he would not be too disappointed if his daughter worked out her differences with him. ************************* Kevin wandered aimlessly along the path oblivious to the bitter icy wind that cut straight through his ill fitting coat and the snow flurries that gnawed at his face. The winter night befitted his bleak mood despite the festive twinkling of coloured lights that festooned most of the houses in the street. Ignoring the happy sight of the merrily decorated Christmas trees positioned in many windows so that their seasonal spirit could shine out upon the world, he trudged heavily through the snow laden with a miserable feeling weighing about his heart. A strong gust of wind buffeted him and dejectedly he pulled up the collar of Brian�s coat to get some protection against the cold. The wind swirled around his feet, kicking up flakes of snow as he walked and almost as if to torment his disconsolate heart, the wind seemed to mock his pain by sounding like Harriet calling to him. Breathing out a curse that almost froze like ice upon his lips, the sound of her voice seemed to grow stronger. Surely, this was not a trick of his already over excited and sorely abused imagination? Kevin shook his head to clear the taunting voice of the wind from his thoughts. �Kevin, for god�s sake wait up.� The voice called, sounding immeasurably closer now. He spun around, and through the falling snow he glimpsed a slight shadowy figure fighting against the wind making a slow progress towards him. Kevin squinted and raised his hands to shield his eyes against the wind and snow then realisation hit him like a bullet between the eyes. �Harriet?� he called out and it seemed as if the wind snatched his words away. Kevin called out again, this time louder as he ran forward through the snow and a frozen form staggered gratefully into his arms. �I didn�t think you�d ever hear me.� Harriet gasped and wheezed breathlessly against Kevin�s chest as strong arms supported her wobbly legs when they threatened to collapse into the snow. �I thought it was the wind playing tricks on me.� Kevin pulled her closer and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. �You�re freezing Harrie, what on earth possessed you to run around with no hat on in this weather?� �You did Kevin, you did.� She wriggled against him wanting to get her arms free so Kevin loosened his embrace. Her hands reached up and tightly cupped his face; she could feel how cold his skin was underneath her frozen hands. Harriet leaned in against him and Kevin�s icy hands linked loosely about her waist. She raised her chin and against the backdrop of the streetlight, Kevin could see her face earnestly looking up at him, regaining her breath, Harriet implored him. �I want to be the mother of two naughty boys, I want to be the mother of a daughter called Annie, I want to share that dream with you Kevin, well at least give it a shot.� She smiled shyly and buried her face against his chest. �I would like someday to maybe be your wife.� Kevin heard the muffled whisper as the implication of her words and her presence here within his arms sunk in. �You do?� he grinned down at her with an incredulous look dawning on his face. He moved her at arms distance away from his chest so to get a better look at her face. �You do?� he asked again as a joyful smile broke like the dawning sun upon a new day across his chiselled features. Harriet nodded, her own eyes radiant in the streetlight and Kevin laughed. A laugh that rang out upon the crisp wintry air like a joyous peal of church bells that would soon ring so clear on this holy night. Kevin picked Harriet up and whirled her dizzily around, kicking up a dusting of snow with his shoes as they spun, laughing happily until he breathlessly brought them to a halt. Tenderly he clasped her face within his fingers; lightly he brushed his thumbs reverently across her cheek, looking deep with her eyes that shone and sparkled like the lights upon a Christmas tree, then he lowered his lips and slowly like a ship coming into it�s harbour home both Harriet and Kevin lost themselves in each other. Unheeding of the snow that fell softly around them and the dancing swirling mist of colours that receded unnoticed into the great expanse of the northern sky, the silent, blissfully embracing couple were left alone in the world as upon the midnight clear a peal of church bells rang out rejoicing the hour of Christ�s birth. Kevin broke off the kiss and gently stroked Harriet�s hair. He smiled down at the woman held tight within the circle of his arms. �Merry Christmas Harrie.� �Merry Christmas Kevin.� Harriet�s fingers touched his face in wonder. �Let�s go home.� And she linked her arm through his and they made their way slowly back to Harriet�s parent�s house. They walked slowly, paying no attention to the cold, or the snow, or even the peeling of the bells on this Christmas morning, for they had a lot to catch up and a brand new future to plan together. THE END!!!! |