| It was Christmas Eve. A pristine dusting of virgin snow coated the earth in a blanket of white. The trees in the back garden sparkled like diamonds on black velvet as minute clusters of ice that had frozen on the foliage sparkled and glistened in the moonlight. A light sprinkle of stars covered the night sky as dust would gather on a table, twinkling and blinking against the inky darkness as they had done for a thousand Christmas eve�s before. Kevin pulled back the curtain and gazed out the window at the magical scene before him. A scene that was chocolate box pretty, a scene that had graced many a Christmas card over the years. All was peaceful and quiet in the house, the stillness uncanny, but Kevin found himself soaking up the rare moment of tranquillity. The children had finally gone to sleep, worn out by a long day of excitement at what the morrow would bring, no doubt their dreams filled with a childlike anticipation of Santa�s visit and all the surprises which that entailed. Kevin recalled his own excitement as a child and as he fondly revisited his past he smiled at his memories of waking on Christmas morn and the anticipation of the day�s celebrations. The moon peaked out from behind a cloud and shone its weak rays over the garden. There down in the back yard, illuminated by the silvery light was the snowman he had made with the children earlier that afternoon. Kevin smiled; he had taken the children outside to give Harriet some peace and quiet while she finished off some last minute baking. The house was filled with the wonderful aromas of her efforts, the sweet spicy tang of mince pies and Christmas cake hung in the air stirring his appetite making his stomach grumble and his mouth water, for Harriet rivalled his mother in the cooking stakes. The children had cheerfully amid much high spirits thrown themselves into creating their snowman, a good way to rid two hyperactive excited boys of some pent up energy, while Annie had toddled about their feet, eyes wide in wonder at her first close up experience of snow. The finished product wore an old fishing cap of Harriet�s father�s and an old woollen scarf that Kevin wore sometimes when working outside during the colder months. It possessed two dark stones for eyes and many smaller rocks formed its mouth. A carrot protruded from the face as a nose and two twigs served as arms; all in all it was quite a good-looking snowman Kevin thought with a grin. The boys had christened him Mr Icy after a heated debate, where Kevin had reasonably pointed out as he separated his sons; it was not very nice, despite the snowman�s obviously likeness to Mr Didley a neighbour from across the street, to name him so. So Mr Icy was named, and Kevin thought it was a highly suitable name for a snowman and the boys shook hands and agreed. He then supervised a snowball fight, using up some more of the boys excess energy, was amused at the way Liam and Scotty patiently tried to instruct their infant sister in the art of snowball making and throwing and the ensuing giggles that resulted from her efforts. These precious moments were a series of snapshots branded forever in his memory Kevin thought of the afternoon�s activities. Harriet, her baking finished then called the tired but merry brood inside to get cleaned up for supper. Amidst much hilarity the family sat down to share their Christmas Eve supper. Harriet and Kevin found it best to celebrate Christmas Eve night alone at home as the children tended to get over excited if out in company and they would never settle down quietly for bedtime. This made the celebrations for Christmas day with all the family much easier as the children were well rested and not overtired or irritable for the long day ahead. When well fed and their belly�s full, Harriet had settled the boys down at the dining table with crayons and colouring books and paper for some quiet time while she bathed and readied Annie for bed. Kevin supervised the boys while he cleaned up the kitchen, offering suggestions on colour schemes and ideas on what his sons should try their hand at drawing, and because it was Christmas, Santa�s, snowmen, and nativity scenes figured prominently. Scott diligently worked on his piece of paper, steadfastly refusing to let Kevin see what he was creating. �It�s a surprise daddy, don�t look.� He grinned conspiratorially across at his father as he shielded the paper with his arm. Kevin with twinkling eyes promised not to look and when he was presented with the finished product he found himself biting his lip in an effort not to shed a tear. On the page Scotty had drawn a picture of them making the snowman and had written in his childish scrawl � to the bestest daddy in the world�. I love you.� Kevin despite his efforts found the tears welling; his heart was touched by the Scotty�s simple gesture of love. He knelt down and gathered his son�s small body close; Scott�s thin arms linked themselves around Kevin�s neck. �That�s one of the nicest gifts I�ve ever been given. Thank you Scotty.� Kevin his voice choked with emotion told his son as he tightened his embrace. �You like it daddy?� Scott his face a mirror of his father�s asked with contented grin. �I love it, I will keep it with me always.� Kevin proudly promised. He placed a gentle kiss on his son�s forehead, raising Scotty�s chin he told him. �I love you so much as well, even when you�re naughty.� Scott let out an appreciative chuckle. �Which is just as well cause I�m naughty a lot huh?� Kevin laughed and nodded. Liam not wanting to be left out flung himself at Kevin and his brother, pushing in between them. �What about me?� he cried as Kevin stumbled backwards at the flying missile that was Liam. Regaining his balance Kevin smiled and lifted his arm so Liam could sneak under and into the group hug. He ruffled his middle child�s hair with his free hand. �I love you just as much scamp.� Liam kissed his father�s cheek. �Even when I�m naughty?� �Especially when you�re naughty.� Kevin tickled Liam under the ribs making the child giggle. He stood up and beamed down upon them, mussing both children�s hair while being careful not to scrunch Scott�s precious drawing any further. �Ok before I get into trouble off your mum for hyping you both up when you should be quietening down ready for bed, how about we make some more hot chocolate?� To enthusiastic cries of acceptance Kevin made four cups, one for Harriet for when she returned from settling down Annie. He carefully folded Scott�s drawing and placed it safely in his trouser pocket, for when he could later store it away in his wallet where he would fulfil his promise to keep it with him always. Kevin was unaware that his wife had witnessed the scene unfold, was not aware that she had shed a tear herself at her children�s devotion to their father. That was one of the things she had always loved about Kevin, his easy comfortable way with children, the way he inspired their trust, the pleasure he took in being a father. She watched unnoticed as three heads, two dark and so alike and one fairer bent over the table like conspirators as they amused themselves while waiting for her to join them. �Good lord, this is something I don�t hear very often.� Harriet joked with a smile as she entered the kitchen. �Silence.� Kevin smiled a welcome and Liam and Scott giggled. �We made you some more hot chocolate mummy.� Liam told her as he pointed to the waiting cup. �Umm delicious, thank you.� She pulled out a chair and joined them. They passed another half hour convivially when Kevin glanced at his watch. �It�s bed time I�m afraid fellas.� Normally several wails of protests would have greeted this suggestion but tonight being Christmas eve, Scott and Liam were on their best behaviour. With wry glance full of irony at each other Harriet and Kevin followed their for once compliant offspring upstairs. Tucking them in bed and following family tradition Kevin read out aloud The Night Before Christmas as the boys snuggled down under the covers. Annie, already deep in the land of nod was silently sleeping across the hallway. As he finished the story the boy�s eyes were fluttering against their cheekbones. Kevin caught Harriet�s eye and they shared a smile. Both children looked extremely angelic while asleep, an irony that was not lost on their parents. �Who would think that they could ever look so angelic?� Harriet grinned affectionately as she tucked Scott in and dropped a kiss upon his sleeping head. Kevin looked up from Liam�s bed where he was doing the same. �It�s about the only time they look angelic.� Kevin chuckled softly after kissing Liam goodnight. With one last look at the sleeping boys they closed the bedroom door silently behind them. Kevin slipped his arm about Harriet�s shoulder. �Harrie sweetheart, why don�t you go have a long soak in the bath, I�ll make us a drink then we can sit back and relax, listen to some Christmas music, get in the mood�.� Harriet turned towards him her lips twitching and with a raised eyebrow laughed. �Get in the mood?� His arms reached across and pulled her close. �If that�s what you want?� he whispered against her hair with a smile in his voice. �Mmmmm it is.� She whispered huskily in his ear. Kevin found her lips and kissed her playfully until she giggled and pushed him away. Kevin turned her around, playfully smacked her backside before giving her a shove in the direction of the bathroom. �Go have that bath, I�ll be downstairs waiting.� Harriet stuck her head around the bathroom door. �I won�t be long.� Kevin grinned and his green eyes danced. �I�m keeping you to that promise Harrie.� She grinned at him then disappeared. So it was thus Kevin found himself downstairs looking out of the window contemplating the tranquillity of the winter landscape and enjoying a few quiet moments of introspection. A bright light in the sky drew his attention away from the snow-laden backyard to the infinite blackness above. Kevin craned his neck to get a better view of the sky outside. �Strange.� He murmured to himself. He opened the window and stuck his head outside. �Nothing.� He whispered to himself. �That�s funny I�m sure I saw something.� Upstairs Kevin could hear the sounds of Harriet moving about in their bedroom, he smiled and closed his eyes as he pictured her in his mind, knowing her quick ready movements intimately. He blew out a breath through his lips and thought to himself. �I was supposed to be making some drinks wasn�t I?� But out of the corner of his eye Kevin caught another flash of light, he stilled, shook his head to make sure he was not seeing things, then peered out of the window again. Sure enough, the light was there again. Bright and glowing against the darkness, almost blotting out the sprinkling of stars that scattered across they sky, almost drowning out the moonlight. It illuminated the snowman that stood still as a statue glowing at the back of the yard in a silvery lustre; its ice particles were almost transparent in the strange light. Against his will Kevin unconsciously found himself drawn towards the queer light. He opened the backdoor and found himself standing in the middle of the back garden. In the back of his mind a feeling of d�j� vu stirred and his heart sank. A pit of ice gripped his stomach. �No, not now.� He whispered into the darkness. �Please not now, not when I�m happier than I�ve ever been. I don�t want to leave.� The light beckoned, it�s kaleidoscope of colours swirled, engulfed him. He felt buffeted by a strong wind; felt his body sucked into a vortex, where every blood vessel threatened to explode and burst. The rush of noise in his ears was deafening but he felt like he was being physically ripped in two. Kevin was not sure if he yelled aloud or in his mind but his last conscious memory was screaming Harriet�s name before the darkness and the desolation that filled his heart and claimed him. All went black and he knew no more. *********************** Cold. So cold that there was nothing but numbness, a black hole of desolation filled with pain, not a physical pain, Kevin could have handled that; to hurt would be to feel something. This was a bleak, desolate gaping wound where with every beat of his heart he could feel the stupor overwhelming his body, his mind and he did not want to wake up. At the back of his mind he knew he had suffered a great loss and that he was in a void of emptiness, a vacuum of wretchedness, then he felt it, a trail of wetness on his cheek. From somewhere within a deep well of grief overflowed from his heavy heart. Too exhausted to move, or could he not be bothered to, he lay still unable even to raise his hand to wipe the wetness away. Better to give into the numbness, it was easier that way. He closed his eyes and willed the cold and the darkness to claim him, for there he would feel this paralysing grief no more. |